Andy Rooney = Grumpy Old Man

The Omega Concern · 02-26-2004, 03:51 PM

he needs his ass kicked.

ravenguy2000 · 02-26-2004, 03:53 PM

I think he's insightful and witty.

Its just Andy Rooney, leave him alone.

sppunk · 02-26-2004, 03:55 PM

Grumpy Old Men was an awesome movie.

ravenguy2000 · 02-26-2004, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sppunk
Grumpy Old Men was an awesome movie.

That's true.

But still, the average Andy Rooney segment is like

"Have you ever noticed the size of coffee cans are a lot smaller than they used to be? Candy bars, too!"

I mean, c'mon, he's fucking harmless.

Nimrod · 02-26-2004, 04:00 PM

He's annoying. He bitches about useless shit. He used to be witty and relevant years ago but I think he's got Alzheimer's.

Old Andy stuff:
Andy Rooney On Prisoners:
Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Gee, for forty-thousand bucks apiece, I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.
================================
Andy Rooney On Fabric Softeners:
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
=================================
Andy Rooney On Morning Differences:
Men and women are different in the morning. We men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, 'How can he want me the way I look in the morning?' It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
==============================
Andy Rooney On Phone-In-Polls:
You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there's always like 18% that say "I don't know." It costs 90 cents to call up and vote and they're voting "I don't know."
" Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone." Says into phone "I DON'T KNOW!" (Hangs up looking proud.) "Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about."
This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95 to say "I'm not in the mood."
===============================
Andy Rooney On Grandma:
My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.
=========================
Andy Rooney On Answering Machines:
Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is: 'Share the love.' Beep."
"Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling....Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Stop sharing the love."

Junebug · 02-26-2004, 04:45 PM

wow, those are hilarious. I still think he's funny though. I wouldn't mind having him for a grandpa.

Mood ring · 02-26-2004, 04:57 PM

'I'm not going to spend $9 just for a few laughs' -- CBS's Andy Rooney to Don Imus on why he won't see PASSION OF CHRIST....

sounds like an asshole to me.

!!! · 02-26-2004, 04:58 PM

Andy Rooney needs to get older.

tootsie · 02-26-2004, 05:00 PM

i thought the comments nim posted were funny.

the man is totally harmless.

sledge · 02-26-2004, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nimrod

=========================
Andy Rooney On Answering Machines:
Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is: 'Share the love.' Beep."
"Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling....Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Stop sharing the love."

Rider · 02-26-2004, 05:15 PM

I loved him years ago, but when he made his infamous Kurt Cobain rant I lost all respect for him. He ran out of things to say about 15 years ago everything new from him is just tired old retreads of old stuff.

sledge · 02-26-2004, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rider
his infamous Kurt Cobain rant

What did he say?

Nimrod · 02-26-2004, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sledge

What did he say?

He used a "back in my day" argument. Basically, Kurt Cobain's suicide couldn't have been caused by anything valid, since Kurt had never "suffered through the Great Depression."

Nimrod · 02-26-2004, 05:38 PM

http://www.dumbcelebs.com/archives/andy2.jpg
Dude, what's up with those eyebrows? Get a tweezer or some wax or something.

Yeah, Andy Rooney is still around. He's also an idiot. He "humorously" channels a message from God in his latest commentary:

"Andrew, you have the eyes and ears of a lot of people. I wish you'd tell your viewers that both Pat Robertson and Mel Gibson strike me as wackos. I believe that's one of your current words."

His basis for saying Pat Robertson is a wacko? That Robertson claims God told him Bush is going to win the election. Fair enough. His basis for saying Mel Gibson is a wacko? Not sure really, it's left unstated.

“As far as Mel Gibson goes, I haven't seen his movie, 'The Passion of the Christ,' because it hasn't opened up here yet. But I did catch Gibson being interviewed by Diane Sawyer. I did something right when I came up with her, didn't I,” added God. “Anyway, as I was saying, Mel is a real nut case. What in the world was I thinking when I created him? Listen, we all make mistakes."
Again, no reason is given for why Mel Gibson is one of God's "mistakes". What exactly is Andy's problem with Mel Gibson? That he was passionate about his movie? That he went through the Hollywood life of hedonistic excess and found it spiritually empty? That he rejected that life and turned to religion?

Rooney's closing line is what really irks me:

My question to Mel Gibson is: "How many million dollars does it look as if you're going to make off the crucifixion of Christ?"

What a sanctimonious prick. Hey Andy, how much money have you made sitting on your wrinkled ass, kvetching and bitching about stupid shit like mannequins, sales advertising, clothing ads, and whatever else strikes your fancy when you're reading your copy of Curmudgeons Daily? Why don't you bitch about Quentin Tarantino making millions off his ultra violent movies? How about the millions Michael Moore has made off his vile anti-American and untruthful "documentaries"? How about the millions the networks make off of reprehensible dreck like Average Joe, Fear Factor and The Littlest Groom? I guess it's ok to make money as a purveyor of shit but when a man tries to rise above it and make a religious film then somehow his motives can be called into question.

What Andy Rooney doesn't seem to understand is that millions of people want to see this movie because it's being billed as a biblically faithful account of the last hours of Jesus Christ, made by a man who truly believes it. What could Gibson do that would placate Rooney? Not charge admission? Add in some sex and car crashes? He financed this movie with his own money, he deserves to reap the reward for giving the audience something they want to see. I feel a lot better about my $9 going into Mel Gibson's pocket than I would about subsidizing Sean Penn's lifestyle.

Some people have objected to the merchandising as well but if people want the stuff what's wrong with selling it to them? Merchandising has been a part of Christianity, indeed of all religions, since the very beginning. Holy relics, statues, robes, incense and many other items have been sold to religious believers since the dawn of time. Why is it so wrong now?

sledge · 02-26-2004, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nimrod
He used a "back in my day" argument. Basically, Kurt Cobain's suicide couldn't have been caused by anything valid, since Kurt had never "suffered through the Great Depression."

So in essence he was saying anyone who commit suicide under the age of 50 had never truly "suffered"?
Good one Andy.

Nimrod · 02-26-2004, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sledge

So in essence he was saying anyone who commit suicide under the age of 50 had never truly "suffered"?
Good one Andy.

50?

Do you actually know when the Great Depression took place?

sledge · 02-26-2004, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nimrod

Do you actually know when the Great Depression took place?

The 1930's.

02-26-2004, 03:51 PM	#1
The Omega Concern Banned Location: stay, far, away Posts: 8,997	Andy Rooney = Grumpy Old Man he needs his ass kicked.

02-26-2004, 03:55 PM	#3
sppunk Netphoria's George Will Location: Fenway Park Posts: 37,125	Grumpy Old Men was an awesome movie. __________________ Dustin Pedroia for president.

02-26-2004, 03:53 PM	#2
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,008	I think he's insightful and witty. Its just Andy Rooney, leave him alone.

02-26-2004, 04:00 PM	#5
Nimrod Macho Business Donkey Wrestler Location: the cross i'm bearing home 'aint indicative of my place Posts: 5,410	He's annoying. He bitches about useless shit. He used to be witty and relevant years ago but I think he's got Alzheimer's. Old Andy stuff: Andy Rooney On Prisoners: Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Gee, for forty-thousand bucks apiece, I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator. ================================ Andy Rooney On Fabric Softeners: My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes. ================================= Andy Rooney On Morning Differences: Men and women are different in the morning. We men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, 'How can he want me the way I look in the morning?' It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. ============================== Andy Rooney On Phone-In-Polls: You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there's always like 18% that say "I don't know." It costs 90 cents to call up and vote and they're voting "I don't know." " Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone." Says into phone "I DON'T KNOW!" (Hangs up looking proud.) "Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about." This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95 to say "I'm not in the mood." =============================== Andy Rooney On Grandma: My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday. ========================= Andy Rooney On Answering Machines: Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is: 'Share the love.' Beep." "Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling....Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Stop sharing the love."

02-26-2004, 04:45 PM	#6
Junebug Minion of Satan Posts: 7,072	wow, those are hilarious. I still think he's funny though. I wouldn't mind having him for a grandpa.

02-26-2004, 04:57 PM	#7
Mood ring Banned Location: Between Sun and Moon Posts: 686	'I'm not going to spend $9 just for a few laughs' -- CBS's Andy Rooney to Don Imus on why he won't see PASSION OF CHRIST.... sounds like an asshole to me.

02-26-2004, 04:58 PM	#8
!!! Pledge Posts: 108	Andy Rooney needs to get older.

02-26-2004, 05:00 PM	#9
tootsie Minion of Satan Location: go go gadget goggler Posts: 5,346	i thought the comments nim posted were funny. the man is totally harmless.

02-26-2004, 05:15 PM	#11
Rider Minion of Satan Location: I was born a snake handler, and I'll die a snake handler Posts: 9,505	I loved him years ago, but when he made his infamous Kurt Cobain rant I lost all respect for him. He ran out of things to say about 15 years ago everything new from him is just tired old retreads of old stuff.

02-26-2004, 05:38 PM	#14
Nimrod Macho Business Donkey Wrestler Location: the cross i'm bearing home 'aint indicative of my place Posts: 5,410	http://www.dumbcelebs.com/archives/andy2.jpg Dude, what's up with those eyebrows? Get a tweezer or some wax or something. Yeah, Andy Rooney is still around. He's also an idiot. He "humorously" channels a message from God in his latest commentary: "Andrew, you have the eyes and ears of a lot of people. I wish you'd tell your viewers that both Pat Robertson and Mel Gibson strike me as wackos. I believe that's one of your current words." His basis for saying Pat Robertson is a wacko? That Robertson claims God told him Bush is going to win the election. Fair enough. His basis for saying Mel Gibson is a wacko? Not sure really, it's left unstated. “As far as Mel Gibson goes, I haven't seen his movie, 'The Passion of the Christ,' because it hasn't opened up here yet. But I did catch Gibson being interviewed by Diane Sawyer. I did something right when I came up with her, didn't I,” added God. “Anyway, as I was saying, Mel is a real nut case. What in the world was I thinking when I created him? Listen, we all make mistakes." Again, no reason is given for why Mel Gibson is one of God's "mistakes". What exactly is Andy's problem with Mel Gibson? That he was passionate about his movie? That he went through the Hollywood life of hedonistic excess and found it spiritually empty? That he rejected that life and turned to religion? Rooney's closing line is what really irks me: My question to Mel Gibson is: "How many million dollars does it look as if you're going to make off the crucifixion of Christ?" What a sanctimonious prick. Hey Andy, how much money have you made sitting on your wrinkled ass, kvetching and bitching about stupid shit like mannequins, sales advertising, clothing ads, and whatever else strikes your fancy when you're reading your copy of Curmudgeons Daily? Why don't you bitch about Quentin Tarantino making millions off his ultra violent movies? How about the millions Michael Moore has made off his vile anti-American and untruthful "documentaries"? How about the millions the networks make off of reprehensible dreck like Average Joe, Fear Factor and The Littlest Groom? I guess it's ok to make money as a purveyor of shit but when a man tries to rise above it and make a religious film then somehow his motives can be called into question. What Andy Rooney doesn't seem to understand is that millions of people want to see this movie because it's being billed as a biblically faithful account of the last hours of Jesus Christ, made by a man who truly believes it. What could Gibson do that would placate Rooney? Not charge admission? Add in some sex and car crashes? He financed this movie with his own money, he deserves to reap the reward for giving the audience something they want to see. I feel a lot better about my $9 going into Mel Gibson's pocket than I would about subsidizing Sean Penn's lifestyle. Some people have objected to the merchandising as well but if people want the stuff what's wrong with selling it to them? Merchandising has been a part of Christianity, indeed of all religions, since the very beginning. Holy relics, statues, robes, incense and many other items have been sold to religious believers since the dawn of time. Why is it so wrong now?