www.actsofgord.com

machinaddict · 04:19 PM

This site is hilarious. Not as good as Maddox, but still damn funny.
Think this guy, but with video games instead of comic books:
http://pages.prodigy.net/mshimkus/androids/cbg1.jpg

So Gord wanders to the store after a rare morning walk, blueberry bagel in hand. Time check, it's 10:45.

As he approaches the door, there is one lady and her two children. She seems rather unpleased at Gord.

"Why are you so late?"

"Ma'am, I open at 11. I'm 15 minutes early. Please don't tell anyone, as this sets a very bad precedent. But being the nice guy I am, I'll let you in early."

Gord enters the store.

The family walks around for a couple minutes and looks at things. One of the kids runs up to Gord.

"So when are you going to put the games on the big TV?"

"Being that I'm not even normally open yet, probably not for a while."

Child runs back to mother.

"Ok, I'll pick you kids up at 6pm. Don't go anywhere! Make sure you stay here all day."

Unfortunately when she said that, Gord was on the phone with a customer. And the lady was gone before the call ended, leaving her two children (ages 8 to 9?).

"Uhm...." thought Gord. While he wasn't heartless, he wasn't about to set another bad precedent where people could convert the store into a free daycare.

"Where does your mom work?" asked Gord of the children.

They provided the name of the place, and her name as well. Gord pulled out the phone book and gives her a call.

"So, about your children."

"What about them?"

"I'm going to make two calls. The first call is to my supplier. I have to order a stack of games and go through my back orders. That should take about twenty minutes."

"So?"

"After that, if your children are still here, I'm phoning the children protection authority and doing everyone a favour."

"You can't do that!"

"Ma'am. I can do anything. I own a game store."

And sure enough, she was back in less than 10 minutes. She grabs her kids and as she leaves she yells "I'm never coming back!"

"Is this where I say thank you, or is it more polite to mail a card?"

Isle · 02-12-2004, 04:25 PM

that was too contrived to get a lol...maybe i'll check the site later.

Crono · 02-12-2004, 04:54 PM

I am in full support of this thread. Acts of Gord is entertaining at least (even if the stories do seem embellished, that doesn't really take away from them).

machinaddict · 02-12-2004, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Crono
I am in full support of this thread. Acts of Gord is entertaining at least (even if the stories do seem embellished, that doesn't really take away from them).

The ones where he chases kids down the street and beats the shit out of them, I'm not too sure about. But after working in retail, I believe every one of his student customer stories.

02-12-2004, 04:17 PM	#1
machinaddict Apocalyptic Poster Location: Wolfville, NS Posts: 4,617	www.actsofgord.com This site is hilarious. Not as good as Maddox, but still damn funny. Think this guy, but with video games instead of comic books: http://pages.prodigy.net/mshimkus/androids/cbg1.jpg So Gord wanders to the store after a rare morning walk, blueberry bagel in hand. Time check, it's 10:45. As he approaches the door, there is one lady and her two children. She seems rather unpleased at Gord. "Why are you so late?" "Ma'am, I open at 11. I'm 15 minutes early. Please don't tell anyone, as this sets a very bad precedent. But being the nice guy I am, I'll let you in early." Gord enters the store. The family walks around for a couple minutes and looks at things. One of the kids runs up to Gord. "So when are you going to put the games on the big TV?" "Being that I'm not even normally open yet, probably not for a while." Child runs back to mother. "Ok, I'll pick you kids up at 6pm. Don't go anywhere! Make sure you stay here all day." Unfortunately when she said that, Gord was on the phone with a customer. And the lady was gone before the call ended, leaving her two children (ages 8 to 9?). "Uhm...." thought Gord. While he wasn't heartless, he wasn't about to set another bad precedent where people could convert the store into a free daycare. "Where does your mom work?" asked Gord of the children. They provided the name of the place, and her name as well. Gord pulled out the phone book and gives her a call. "So, about your children." "What about them?" "I'm going to make two calls. The first call is to my supplier. I have to order a stack of games and go through my back orders. That should take about twenty minutes." "So?" "After that, if your children are still here, I'm phoning the children protection authority and doing everyone a favour." "You can't do that!" "Ma'am. I can do anything. I own a game store." And sure enough, she was back in less than 10 minutes. She grabs her kids and as she leaves she yells "I'm never coming back!" "Is this where I say thank you, or is it more polite to mail a card?" Last edited by machinaddict : 02-12-2004 at 04:19 PM.

02-12-2004, 04:25 PM	#2
Isle Braindead Location: Unison Posts: 19,375	that was too contrived to get a lol...maybe i'll check the site later.

02-12-2004, 04:54 PM	#3
Crono Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 1,265	I am in full support of this thread. Acts of Gord is entertaining at least (even if the stories do seem embellished, that doesn't really take away from them).