New script leaked from Star Wars III (spoilers)

[sickbadthing]

EXT – DEGOBAH – DAY

HAN SOLO sits idly under a knotty tree in the swamp. He is casually throwing sticks
for CHEWBACCA who bounds after them, tongue lolling out and tail wagging.

					HAN SOLO
		I sure hope that Jedi remembers to come back and get
		us. He was supposed to be here hours ago!

Chewbacca, with a stick in his mouth, looks at Han Solo quizzically and wags his 
tail. He drops the stick at Han Solo’s feet.

					HAN SOLO
		I know I shouldn’t be bothering you with my worries.
		You have no conception as to what’s going on in this
		damn galaxy, do you boy?

					CHEWBACCA
		Woof!

					HAN SOLO
				(picks up the stick)
		Atta boy. Let’s keep ourselves amused until that Jedi
		decides to come back here and get us, okay?

Han Solo throws the stick, and Chewbacca bounds after it. Halfway to his 
destination, Chewbacca’s back legs give in beneath him and he falls to the ground, 
squealing. Han Solo jumps up and runs over to check on him.

					HAN SOLO
               What’s the matter, buddy? Oh my goodness... you’re
	       molting again.

We see a series of montage shots of Han Solo being caring and motherly. He brings 
Chewbacca water and bits of rubbish to eat. He pets him. Intercut with his montage 
are special effects shots- Chewbacca’s muscles develop. His paws turn to crude 
hands. From behind, we see him stand upright.

					HAN SOLO
		You’re growing up so fast, buddy. I can’t believe it.
		Three years old and you’re already an Ewok!

					CHEWBACCA
		Chippy chirpy!

					HAN SOLO
		I’d better enjoy these days while you’re still little
		enough to cuddle, Chewy. Before I know it you’ll be a
		Wookie and then it’ll be all business.

Han Solo tenderly hugs Chewbacca. A tear rolls down his cheek as Chewy purrs and
trills contentedly.

YES I STOLE THIS. FUCK YOU.

[Isle]

rad.

[DeviousJ]

Nonono, post the one with "SILENCE! Tell me this news."

[sickbadthing]

Originally posted by DeviousJ
Nonono, post the one with "SILENCE! Tell me this news."

INT – JEDI COUNCIL – DAY

PADME and OBIE WAN stand in the middle of the circle of Jedis. They are the same
weird aliens as before. YODA and the BLACK GUY sit next to each other, their faces
stern with contemplation. Padme has her newer child in her arms, swaddled in white
robes.

					YODA
		This child, Padme. Anakin does not know of it
		he does?

					PADME
		As far as I know, he is unaware.

					YODA
		Good, this is. For now this way we shall keep it
		we will.

					OBIE WAN
		That is what we thought as well. Master... I have
		other disturbing news about Anakin.

					YODA
		SILENCE! Tell me this news.

					OBIE WAN
		He called himself Darth Vader when he saw his
		child. He said that it was his new name.

					BLACK JEDI
		Why did you not tell us of this sooner, Obie Wan?
		This might turn out to be somehow important.

					OBIE WAN
		I did not want you to hastily condemn him because
		of his new name, or anything. He is still my best
		friend.

					YODA
		Foolish you are. Darth is the name of the Siths,
		who as you know are like the Jedis but bad, they
		are. And I thought that I was your best friend.

					OBIE WAN
		Oh... Master Yoda, you certainly are. I only 
		meant that it should go without saying. But do
		you think that Anakin is truly a Sith?

					PADME
		He had evil in his eyes when he tried to take
		the baby. I once loved him but now I love him and
		fear him, which is complicated.
			(Padme’s face strains; it is complicated)

					BLACK GUY
		Obie Wan, we have been monitoring Anakin through
		Artoo’s eyes since last we met with him. He is back
		at his estate on Naboo. His behavior has been erratic.
		I suggest that we find a way to draw him out.
					YODA
		This was going to have been my suggestion have
		been.

The Jedis, Anakin, Padme, Yoda, and the Black Jedi all exchange serious and worried
 glances with each other.

[DeviousJ]

That last Yoda line is the best

[Ensoul]

Originally posted by sickbadthing

					BLACK GUY
		Obie Wan, we have been monitoring Anakin through
		Artoo’s eyes since last we met with him. He is back
		at his estate on Naboo. His behavior has been erratic.
		I suggest that we find a way to draw him out..

gotta love that character description.