I'm giving up on finding true love.

[spa ced]

Lately it just seems that only the bitter, jaded people find love and maybe I shouldn't hold myself back from that? I also hear that "you find love when you least expect". Well if I'm bitter and jaded about it then I wouldn't be expecting it.
Some people live their entire lives alone and never experience love. I have to just accept that I could be one of those people.
I've believed for the longest time that a huge part of me is very romantic but since I haven't been able to share those feelings I've never really grown in that aspect. It kind of reminds me of Hum's If You Are To Bloom song. The chorus states "you need watering if you are to bloom" which is a metaphor for "you need love if you are to grow." There are plenty of people in my life that I love and that love me but it's not that kind of significant other love. One thing I've read that has stuck with me is "the odds of finding your soulmate are astronomical." I love how dreary that figure is. It makes me wonder how many people find true love and how many people just "settle". I could possibly see myself settling for someone even if they don't have most of the characteristics of my ideal partner.

Now flame me or tell me why I'm wrong or whatever.

[Axis of Action]

I've already told you why you're wrong. I have a class in a few minutes, but when I get back, I'll tell you again.

Not that I think it'll do any good, I know you're set in your ways, as of late.

[ammy]

the problem with finding the ONE is that you have to go through everyone who's NOT the one before you find them.

love will find you when it's meant to. sure, going out and trying to find it might get you there faster, but it's bound to hurt you more along the way.

though if you don't try at all and hide from the world, you're screwing yourself over...


uhm. my point is.. it's worth the pain in the end. it just doesn't feel like it will be along the way.

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by Ammy
the problem with finding the ONE is that you have to go through everyone who's NOT the one before you find them.

love will find you when it's meant to. sure, going out and trying to find it might get you there faster, but it's bound to hurt you more along the way.

My only answer to his predicament is to not close yourself off to the possibility. If you do, you may miss your love. It hurts to keep opening yourself up, but you have to keep doing it.

Like I've already told you, Tony, I kept getting hurt in HS, and for the last year of HS and first year of college, I wanted nothing to do with girls, because I kept getting pissed off at what was happening. But if you ignore it... you're simply pre-determining. Life isn't meant to play out like that.

[spa ced]

Originally posted by Ammy
the problem with finding the ONE is that you have to go through everyone who's NOT the one before you find them.

love will find you when it's meant to. sure, going out and trying to find it might get you there faster, but it's bound to hurt you more along the way.

Yeah but who says everyone has a ONE? Surely not everyone has a ONE. Maybe I will never have a ONE.

[ammy]

there is a one!

[sarasvati]

you'll find that special person. don't worry about it! <3

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by spa ced


Yeah but who says everyone has a ONE? Surely not everyone has a ONE. Maybe I will never have a ONE.

You'll never know if you don't try.

[ravenguy2000]

Why do you feel like you have to couple with someone to be happy?

[spa ced]

Originally posted by Sehki


My only answer to his predicament is to not close yourself off to the possibility. If you do, you may miss your love. It hurts to keep opening yourself up, but you have to keep doing it.

Like I've already told you, Tony, I kept getting hurt in HS, and for the last year of HS and first year of college, I wanted nothing to do with girls, because I kept getting pissed off at what was happening. But if you ignore it... you're simply pre-determining. Life isn't meant to play out like that.

Another factor of why this attitude is taking place is because it means I'm in control. I made the decision that I don't want love. Damn you destiny for trying to control my life and what happens. I know it's a false sense of control but it's quite pleasing to be perfectly honest.

[spa ced]

Originally posted by Ammy
there is a one!

You don't know that though.
I have to be realistic.

[spa ced]

Originally posted by sarasvati
you'll find that special person. don't worry about it! <3

See when I care and am optimistic about love then I worry about it. If I don't care and think love is evil well then I won't worry about it. See? <3

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by spa ced


Another factor of why this attitude is taking place is because it means I'm in control. I made the decision that I don't want love. Damn you destiny for trying to control my life and what happens. I know it's a false sense of control but it's quite pleasing to be perfectly honest.

I know what you're feeling. It makes it feel like it's YOUR choice not to be with anybody. But that feeling is wrong, and you know it. It'll go past you in a while, and you'll simply desperately want love again.

[ravenguy2000]

answer my fucking question.

[I_was_aborted]

Even if you do find the ONE you will have to watch them die or have them watch you die. They might get raped and beaten to death....they might die in a car wreck.....they might leave you because you fuck up. Nothing in life is perfect, nothing lasts forever and anything that is good does have its bad aspects. Life isn't a cakewalk....don't expect it to be. Even if you find love you will feel pain from it.

I guess all I'm saying is that I hope you don't think being in Love with someone will solve all of lifes problems...because that isn't possible. Life is just hard.

[spa ced]

Originally posted by Sehki


You'll never know if you don't try.

I know what your point is. What's that phrase again....fuck...When you have a certain attitude about something and that it changes the outcome of what happens....

EDIT: Self fulfilling prophecy! That's what it is. Yes I can see your point. But if destiny has love in store for me anyways, then my attitude can't change that right? The only thing my attitude changes is my level of hurt. If I don't care then I don't get hurt while waiting for love. If I do care then I do get hurt while waiting for love.

[spa ced]

Originally posted by ravenguy2000
Why do you feel like you have to couple with someone to be happy?

I know that someone can't make me happy. However I think I would be happier overall in a good, healthy relationship then if I were not in one. You can do so many things in a relationship! It makes doing most things more fun becuase you have someone who loves to do something or watch something just as much as you do and you aren't doing things alone.

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by spa ced


I know what your point is. What's that phrase again....fuck...When you have a certain attitude about something and that it changes the outcome of what happens....

EDIT: Self fulfilling prophecy! That's what it is. Yes I can see your point. But if destiny has love in store for me anyways, then my attitude can't change that right? The only thing my attitude changes is my level of hurt. If I don't care then I don't get hurt while waiting for love. If I do care then I do get hurt while waiting for love.

Well, not to turn this into a sci-fi thread, but this issue comes up in movie that involve time-travel and seeing the future (read: Paycheck, Terminator 3, etc.). You may KNOW the outcome, but you still have to participate in making the outcome occur, right? It's the only way that makes sense.

Take Terminator 3 for instance. If Conner had known, well, he'll become the leader of the resistance no matter what, he could just fucking sit back in a titanium room and let the world destroy itself. But his actions are vital to it happening - he has to be at the SkyNet place for SkyNet to take over, and along those lines, you have to keep your eyes and heart open if you ever hope to find the One.

[spa ced]

Originally posted by I_was_aborted
Even if you do find the ONE you will have to watch them die or have them watch you die. They might get raped and beaten to death....they might die in a car wreck.....they might leave you because you fuck up. Nothing in life is perfect, nothing lasts forever and anything that is good does have its bad aspects. Life isn't a cakewalk....don't expect it to be. Even if you find love you will feel pain from it.

I guess all I'm saying is that I hope you don't think being in Love with someone will solve all of lifes problems...because that isn't possible. Life is just hard.

See. That also to me is unbearable. I'm probably one of those really fragile people that might succumb to insanity if my partner died or something. Maybe that's why I can't find love yet? Maybe I'm not mature enough to accept those facts? But no...because I believe in an afterlife...and I believe in reincarnation...and I believe that soulmates meet on the other side again after death.

[ravenguy2000]

Originally posted by Sehki



Take Terminator 3 for instance. If Conner had known, well, he'll become the leader of the resistance no matter what, he could just fucking sit back in a titanium room and let the world destroy itself. But his actions are vital to it happening - he has to be at the SkyNet place for SkyNet to take over, and along those lines, you have to keep your eyes and heart open if you ever hope to find the One.

Its like in Oedipus. He's told that he's going to fuck his mother, he does everything in his power to not fuck his mother, and lo and behold, no matter what he does, he ends up fucking his mother.

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by ravenguy2000


Its like in Oedipus. He's told that he's going to fuck his mother, he does everything in his power to not fuck his mother, and lo and behold, no matter what he does, he ends up fucking his mother.

Better analogy.

[spa ced]

Originally posted by Sehki


You may KNOW the outcome, but you still have to participate in making the outcome occur, right? It's the only way that makes sense.

This is a good point. So free will and destiny are a kind of multi-layered, dynamic proccess in which both interact and affect one another...

[YeehaJamesIha]

How old are you?

[spa ced]

Originally posted by YeehaJamesIha
How old are you?

I'm an old soul. This is irrelevant.

[I_was_aborted]

Not really irrelevant. I've changed a lot in the last 2 years....especially in my relationship relm. If you are under 30 or 40 years old I don't think you have anything to worry about as far as going through life alone and unloved goes.

[silent1]

you're gay.

[spa ced]

Originally posted by I_was_aborted
Not really irrelevant. I've changed a lot in the last 2 years....especially in my relationship relm. If you are under 30 or 40 years old I don't think you have anything to worry about as far as going through life alone and unloved goes.

Yeah the age factor deals a crucial blow to my whole theory since I'm still so young. I've been hoping for love for years though, so thats why it seems irrelevant to me.

[The Moon]

Originally posted by spa ced
Lately it just seems that only the bitter, jaded people find love and maybe I shouldn't hold myself back from that? I also hear that "you find love when you least expect". Well if I'm bitter and jaded about it then I wouldn't be expecting it.
Some people live their entire lives alone and never experience love. I have to just accept that I could be one of those people.
I've believed for the longest time that a huge part of me is very romantic but since I haven't been able to share those feelings I've never really grown in that aspect. It kind of reminds me of Hum's If You Are To Bloom song. The chorus states "you need watering if you are to bloom" which is a metaphor for "you need love if you are to grow." There are plenty of people in my life that I love and that love me but it's not that kind of significant other love. One thing I've read that has stuck with me is "the odds of finding your soulmate are astronomical." I love how dreary that figure is. It makes me wonder how many people find true love and how many people just "settle". I could possibly see myself settling for someone even if they don't have most of the characteristics of my ideal partner.

Now flame me or tell me why I'm wrong or whatever.

first you have to stop believing that there is such thing as a soul mate. think of it more as kindred spirits - notice the plural. there is not just one person for everyone, and if you meet someone that you love, you have to take care of the love. you can't just say "i love you" and feel it and then sit around waiting for the revelation that the person is "the one", or whatever. if you open yourself to the fact that there may be thousands of kindred spirits out there, then your odds are better.

[spa ced]

Originally posted by silent1
you're gay.

Water is H2O.

[silent1]

Originally posted by spa ced


Water is H2O.

.

just solving your problems for you.