rewrite a movie plot outline from imdb

[Irrelevant]

Charlie and the Cheese Factory

The story begins when Billy Wanka, alcoholic Wiconsin cheese factory owner, announces a molden ticket contest. Five lucky people will be given a tour of his factory, and one will even win a lifetime supply of cheese. Charlie, whose family is incredibly homosexual and can hardly afford to purchase a bar of cheese, miraculously finds a molden ticket and is on his way to a full factory tour. But the four other children with him are not as fabulously gay as he, and begin to disappear as they disobey Wanka's mumbled drunken instructions. Will Charlie make it through the factory tour? It has cheese.

Communist AC/DC Members' Excellent 1950s Adventure: Back in Blacklist

When best brothers Malcolm and Angus Young are in danger of being seperated and having their band, AC/DC broken up because they're communists, a time traveler from the future gives them a telephone booth so they can travel through time to the future where communism is the dominant form of government. But when these stupid Aussies accidentally travel to 1950s America, hijinks ensue!

Pee Wee's Big Adventure in the Works of Ernest Hemingway

The love of Pee-wee Herman's life is the work of Ernest Hemingway. When he does acid, he is send on a wild cross story adventure after a fortune teller tells him his penis is small, and that is funny. Along the way, Pee-wee encounters some crazy old fisherman, a faggy journalist nutty about some whore, and a mysterious female truck driver named Robert Jordan.

[Irrelevant]

Schindler's List of Groceries He Is Going to Buy Next Time He Goes to the Store

The true story of Oscar Schindler, a German businessman who owns a factory. He witnesses the totally awesome Holocaust and takes advantage of it to make some fuckin' cash. Eventually, he creates a list of over 11 things he wants to get next time he is at the store.

[Axis of Action]

Pirates of the Hudson River: Igby Finds Nemo

This is the glorious journey of New York high-life kid Igby, who falls in love with a fish named Nemo. But, prior to consummating his love, he is rudely kidnapped by the pirate Jack Sparrow who cruely orders him to search for his true love - throughout all the oceans. Now, Igby must cast nets over the side of the Titanic in a hopeless effort to find that little fish he loves - or face returning to New York, having unfulfilling sexual relations with stupid human women and playing chess to pass the time.

[Irrelevant]

i had to..

Citizen Monte

Considered by many as the best film ever made, this is the story of Monte LDS. The film opens with a long shot of some mormon church - the private estate of one of the world's richest men. In the middle of the estate is a castle. We see, inside the castle, a dying man examining a rainbow scene within a crystal ball. As he drops it, it smashes, and one word is heard - "Zwan"... What follows are pieces of newsreel like footage detailing how Monte amassed his fortune by selling black market babies on the internet, and The Full Circle documentary at the end.

[GreenEggsNSpam]

Originally posted by Irrelevant
Schindler's List of Groceries He Is Going to Buy Next Time He Goes to the Store

The true story of Oscar Schindler, a German businessman who owns a factory. He witnesses the totally awesome Holocaust and takes advantage of it to make some fuckin' cash. Eventually, he creates a list of over 11 things he wants to get next time he is at the store.

A fucking Plus.

[Irrelevant]

Mario Kart Now

Burnt out Captain Willard has a gay name and is sent into the jungle with orders to find and kill Captain Morgan who has set up his own rum factory in the jungle. As he descends into the jungle he is slowly over taken by the jungles mesmerizing powers of levitation and mysterious card tricks. His crew does synchronized swimming in the river and is slowly killed off one by one. Willard is like, fuck this, and goes home to play Mario Kart.

[Ugly]

ALIENS: IN THE ZONE

The only survivor of The New Mickey Mouse Club, Britney Spears is discovered in deep sleep half a century later by a career salvage PR firm ship. When she is taken back to Texas, she learns that a Timberlake colony was founded on the same planet where Justin first rammed her up the ass. After contact with the Timberlake colony is lost, she finds herself sent back to the planet along with a team of teen-pop icons bent on destroying the crappy annoying blonde haired manbo menace forever, and spend the whole film gang raping Britney repeatedly over the course of two hours. Watch the superior SPECIAL EDITION Two hour and 20 minute cut for more DVDA shots.

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by Ugly
ALIENS: IN THE ZONE

The only survivor of The New Mickey Mouse Club, Britney Spears is discovered in deep sleep half a century later by a career salvage PR firm ship. When she is taken back to Texas, she learns that a Timberlake colony was founded on the same planet where Justin first rammed her up the ass. After contact with the Timberlake colony is lost, she finds herself sent back to the planet along with a team of teen-pop icons bent on destroying the crappy annoying blonde haired manbo menace forever, and spend the whole film gang raping Britney repeatedly over the course of two hours. Watch the superior SPECIAL EDITION Two hour and 20 minute cut for more DVDA shots.

I think I've seen this before.

[Irrelevant]

Shakespeare in a Shitty Date Movie That Won an Oscar

"Romantic" "comedy" set in "London" in the late 16th century":" Young playwright William Shakespeare struggles with his latest work "Romeo and His Tight Hole Being Penetrated By Sailor After Sailor". A great fan of Shakespeare's plays is a young, wealthy Viola which thinks it is a female human and is about to be married to the cold-hearted Lord Sexsex, but constantly dreams of becoming an actress's assistant's wardrobe hairstylist. Musical instruments were not allowed to act on stage at that time (violin and viola roles were played by men, too), but dressed up as a boy, the Viola successfully auditions for the part of Romeo. Soon she and William are caught in a forbidden and very creepy human-on-musical-instrument romance that provides rich, creamy, delicious inspiration for his THIS WON AN OSCAR.

[Ugly]

Originally posted by Sehki


I think I've seen this before.

Fuck I wish I had.

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by Ugly


Fuck I wish I had.

It's a longer Paris Hilton... except... more domination by an alien.

[Irrelevant]

Ichi the Gourmet Chef

The Food Network boss Anjo disappears with 100 million yens. His loyal television staff members, lead by Emeril "Death-with-a-side-of-salad" Lagasse, start a search, but their aggressive and spicy methods worry the other networks that show cooking programs. Emeril's most scary counterpart is the mysterious Ichi, a psychopathic cook with a dark childhood secret recipe, who is controlled by that crazy Iron Chef fucker.

[Ugly]

Ice Age

Set durring the first two weeks of January 2004 everybody on the friggin North American eastern seaboard froze to death. The end.

[Nimrod's Son]

How Stella Got Her Payback

Angela Bassett stars as a stock broker who is disenchanted with her love life until she takes a vacation to Jamaica and meets a man named Porter (Mel Gibson) who is determined to get his $70,000 from a group of gangsters that ripped him off. Porter teams up with Stella (who becomes a prostitute) to take on the Chinese mafia and get his money. Stella learns a lesson about life's hardships.


Return of the Kings of Black Comedy

The third installment in the trilogy, Cedric the Entertainer and his faithful companion, Stevewise Harvey, travel to the land of Mordor to destroy the One Bling, aided by their guide, the devious Gollum (Chris Rock). Meanwhile, Gandalf (Sir Ian McKellen) and Aragorn (DL Hughley) try to return the throne, which has sat vacant since the line of kings was broken by Isildur (Richard Pryor) to the rightful heir.