Would you dump someone by email & why

[lawson]

yes, if i met them by email HAHA no seriously, yes again, if they deserved it

[bonsor]

Originally posted by Sehki
How would anyone know you meant it over email?

because they fucking wrote it out.

I really don't know what is so hard to understand about this.

[meow]

its easy, do you blame them?

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by ******
because they fucking wrote it out.

I really don't know what is so hard to understand about this.

It's two-sided, unexpressive, non-explanational, depressing, self-righteous, and a whole lot more. I'm not arguing the validity of telling someone you don't love them anymore, I doubting their inherent sincerity of ever entering the relationship in the first place, and that just exiting the relationship online is cheap, duplicitous, and just plain cowardly.

[bonsor]

Originally posted by Sehki
non-explanational

ok, i'll give you all the other adjectives, but non-explanational? how?

while there are many reasons to break up with someone face to face, they are the same reason why a person would decide not to. You call it cowardice. I call it preventative. You think I'm cold-hearted. I'm just cautious. If there are two parties in a relationship and one decides they want out, there should be no further explanation, justification or negotiation. It really saves a lot of mental and emotional anguish.

In my experience, desire for closure is just thinly veiled refusal to accept the truth.

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by ******
ok, i'll give you all the other adjectives, but non-explanational? how?

while there are many reasons to break up with someone face to face, they are the same reason why a person would decide not to. You call it cowardice. I call it preventative. You think I'm cold-hearted. I'm just cautious. If there are two parties in a relationship and one decides they want out, there should be no further explanation, justification or negotiation. It really saves a lot of mental and emotional anguish.

In my experience, desire for closure is just thinly veiled refusal to accept the truth.

You do make a good point, and I understand where you're coming from, as I have been there myself before (and currently regret my actions - I'm an asshole ). But you have to understand that it very often hurts the other person more when you do it that way than by doing it face-to-face, despite the emotional baggage that necessarily comes with it. I've done it myself and it's been done to me, and I know from both it causes immense confusion and sadness for the other party. It may seem like playing it safe to you, but that's exactly it - you're averting an emotional problem, while causing them to hit a wall. It's like a train wreck when the blindsiding, uninformative email (or IM) comes - "I don't love you. Peace!" You want to know what happened, why, if you can make things better. It's a nightmare. I suffered through it once. And I, shamefully, made someone go through it (before it happened to me). It may be hard - it may even be against your view of a relationship as a contract (which, if I may add, sir, is pretty cold-blooded) - but it's much more... relieving for the other person (and sometimes you!). Especially if they have to get over you.

[bonsor]

Originally posted by Sehki


You do make a good point, and I understand where you're coming from, as I have been there myself before (and currently regret my actions - I'm an asshole ). But you have to understand that it very often hurts the other person more when you do it that way than by doing it face-to-face, despite the emotional baggage that necessarily comes with it. I've done it myself and it's been done to me, and I know from both it causes immense confusion and sadness for the other party. It may seem like playing it safe to you, but that's exactly it - you're averting an emotional problem, while causing them to hit a wall. It's like a train wreck when the blindsiding, uninformative email (or IM) comes - "I don't love you. Peace!" You want to know what happened, why, if you can make things better. It's a nightmare. I suffered through it once. And I, shamefully, made someone go through it (before it happened to me). It may be hard - it may even be against your view of a relationship as a contract (which, if I may add, sir, is pretty cold-blooded) - but it's much more... relieving for the other person (and sometimes you!). Especially if they have to get over you.

i understand what you're saying and i'm sure you understand what i'm saying. i'm really really tired and don't feel like discussiing it anymore because...well, there's no need. so i'll just leave it at that and reiterate that i'm glad i'm not dating you haha...goodnight.

[Axis of Action]

Originally posted by ******


i understand what you're saying and i'm sure you understand what i'm saying. i'm really really tired and don't feel like discussiing it anymore because...well, there's no need. so i'll just leave it at that and reiterate that i'm glad i'm not dating you haha...goodnight.

I'll agree because we'd obviously have a messy break up, and it'd have to ensue almost as soon as we started dating cause we're both straight guys.

[partialbirth]

for me, it depends on how long we'd been together...if it was something like a week or something, SURE, I'd take the easy way out but if it was like a month of more then no, never. Yes, it may be a break up but you shouldn't be THAT cold about it. Well, unless they did something REALLY horrible to me, then I wouldn't care.

[jaxx]

Originally posted by ava transformer

i was waiting for you to show up

thankfully i never have to wait for you, since if you're not out slutting around, you're always waiting around on this board like a loser.