long, dramatic story. read if you like.

Helena Handbasket · 12-04-2003, 03:08 AM

Remember the cheating thread I made? Yeah..

Denise and I went to Columbus last weekend. She ended up cheating on her boyfried (Todd) with my friend (Rob). She had been planning on doing it, I tried to talk her out of it, tell her it wouldn't be worth it to lose Todd, blah blah. But she did it anyway.

Denise knew I would tell Jabe (my boyfriend) about it. She knew I would tell Kenzie about it, too, and she didn't seem to mind. The only shitty thing was that I was faced with this huge moral dilemma (?) of 1. Letting Todd know that his girlfriend of 3 years cheated on him.. and this wasn't the first time. 2. Staying loyal to Denise, and not screwing up her relationship.

I know it definitely isn't my place to tell Todd. That's up to Denise, even though I knew she wouldn't. I was talking to John the other morning (a friend of all of ours.. John and Todd have been friends for nearly 15 years) and just in passing I casually mentioned having a problem. He immediately started freaking out going "Denise cheated on Todd when you guys went to Columbus, didn't she?! I knew it! Todd has to know!" I convinced him that it wasn't our responsibility to tell Todd, and that would be wrong.

Cut to this evening. Jabe decided we needed to have an "intervention" with Denise, and tell her that for her own good she needed to tell Todd before someone else did, if she wanted any chance of saving the relationship. Denise automatically started in on all this "I'm going to kill John. Tasha, why did you tell him? I'm not going to have a place to live now." She was basically trying to talk me into going back and lying to John, telling him that nothing happened... and to lie to Todd if he asks me about it. So, it pretty much turned into a "Tasha fucked up, now we have to fix it"session, like I'm the one who cheated or something.

But then again, maybe I did fuck up. Maybe this wouldn't all be blowing up if I had just kept my mouth shut and kept it all on my conscience.

Input, please.

Toby · 12-04-2003, 03:10 AM

This is precisely why I steer clear of drama. I have nothing to do with shit like that.

Helena Handbasket · 12-04-2003, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby
This is precisely why I steer clear of drama. I have nothing to do with shit like that.

I know, dude. I used to never get caught up in this shit. I laughed at other people who did. Oddly enough, it seems to have only started since I've started college.

This whole thing just reminds me of the Virginia incident this time last year. I've never even been in an argument with one of my friends until then. I thought shit like this didn't happen once you reached your 20s. It's so disappointing.

Esty · 12-04-2003, 03:18 AM

Denise sounds like a poor excuse for a friend and lover. I'd rat her out but that's me.

Toby · 12-04-2003, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Esty
Denise sounds like a poor excuse for a friend and lover. I'd rat her out but that's me.

yeah really, if it is going to keep getting you into situations like these then fuck her, man.

Helena Handbasket · 12-04-2003, 03:22 AM

Denise is also crazy. She's spent time in a mental hospital. I wouldn't put it past her to light my hair on fire.

Mason R Butler · 12-04-2003, 03:23 AM

When I get this sort of information, I make sure everybody else knows. People know I'm bad with "classified" stuff, so I never have to deal with it.

12-04-2003, 03:50 AM

Rat her out and move to Nigeria.

Helena Handbasket · 12-04-2003, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lizard Queen
Rat her out and move to Nigeria.

This is also an option.

beef curtains · 12-04-2003, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Helena Handbasket
Denise is also crazy. She's spent time in a mental hospital. I wouldn't put it past her to light my hair on fire.

OOH! can i be her friend too??

Elvis The Fat Years · 12-04-2003, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby
This is precisely why I steer clear of drama.

I hate when people use the word drama like that.

Helena Handbasket · 12-04-2003, 05:44 PM

Holy shit, Todd just called. He's wanting me to "tell the truth, please. Tasha, please."

Junebug · 12-04-2003, 06:00 PM

I've never been in a situation like this before...but I'd tell him. Denise knows the situation, and it sounds like she's just staying with him so she has a place to stay. I wouldn't care about "losing her" as a friend if she treats people like that. holy crap. but that's just me :erm

Quote:

Originally posted by Mason R Butler
When I get this sort of information, I make sure everybody else knows. People know I'm bad with "classified" stuff, so I never have to deal with it.

hahah that's a great idea.

I_was_aborted · 12-04-2003, 06:02 PM

Just fucking tell her. Then laugh at your friend's problem.

AndySlash · 12-04-2003, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Helena Handbasket
Holy shit, Todd just called. He's wanting me to "tell the truth, please. Tasha, please."

You need to tell him to talk to Denise. No matter his insistence. He already knows, it seems. You telling him isn't going to make anything better, just confirm the confirmed.

sawdust restaurants · 12-04-2003, 08:16 PM

For this very reason, you never should have said anything to anybody who might have even had the most minuscule inkling of saying anything. I don't want to be mean, but you seem to bring this kind of drama upon yourself a lot, first with that boy (that was you, right?) and now with this.

gpub · 12-04-2003, 08:21 PM

But ICe Cube had more amps.... get in bitch

Toby · 12-04-2003, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Elvis The Fat Years

I hate when people use the word drama like that.

Why?

Sepiae · 12-04-2003, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Elvis The Fat Years

I hate when people use the word drama like that.

Yes!

Also, if you are friends with Todd and Denise independent of Todd being Denise's boyfriend, she ran the risk of you telling somebody about it. If she really wanted to cover her ass, she wouldn't have told anyone. I mean, maybe you didn't handle it well or maybe you did (I've never been there so I don't know), but Denise opened her mouth to begin with.

scouse_dave · 12-04-2003, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sawdust restaurants
For this very reason, you never should have said anything to anybody who might have even had the most minuscule inkling of saying anything.

yes.

girls can't help themselves tho. have secret. must. tell. someone.

Elvis The Fat Years · 12-04-2003, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby
Why?

Because it seems to have taken the place of the word 'bullshit'. You should've said, 'This is precisely why I steer clear of that bullshit.'

I was talking to someone the other day and they said, 'I can't stand all this drama he brings into my life.' I was like, 'You mean bullshit into your life?' She was like, 'Huh?' And I'm like, 'Exactly.'

Stupid teenagers.

Helena Handbasket · 12-05-2003, 01:57 AM

So, here's what happened.

Todd called me (which has never happened before) while Denise was at work, begging me to "if I know anything more, please tell me. The rest of my life basically depends on what you say. I'm going to propose to Denise, unless I find out she's been unfaithful to me." But, I lied my ass off. Lied like a motherfucker. Which, of course, makes me feel terrible. Todd does not deserve to be lied to, and Denise doesn't deserve to be lied for. The only reason I lied to him is because, honestly, and I know you guys won't believe me, I'm afraid Denise would burn my house down or kill my dogs if I didn't lie to him. I guess you really just have to know her to understand.

I tried to leave it a little open-ended... at first I was telling him that "Listen to me really carefully here, Todd.. as far as I know... nothing happened." But I ended up just flat out lying.
So I go out to Jabe's house in Ironton. (where they all live, about half an hour away. I live in Portsmouth.) Around 7:00 my cell phone rings and it's Denise's number. Of course, I was too chicken to answer, so I let the voicemail get it. I listen to it afterwards, and all I can hear is screaming and banging and "TASHA I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNT!!" A few minutes later, we hear a car race up the street... and then very violent sounding banging on JB's front door. Did we answer it? Hell, no. Do you think we're crazy like Denise or something? Anyway, about fifteen minutes later, we hear cop cars racing down the street. Which we later found out was because Denise ended up hitting Todd in the face and broke his glasses.. throwing vosses.. punched Chris (another friend, he's weird though) in the face.. the usual.

Around 9:30, I get a text message on my phone from her. It said "I'm not angry anymore, just upset. Will you come pick me and take me to the store, and we can talk? I'm too upset to drive." I called her back, and told her I wasn't coming unless Jabe could come, too. She agreed.

So, we get in the car and go over there, pick her up.. This is when she explains to me that the voicemail she left me was because Todd told her that I told him that she and Rob had sex, and did all kinds of other stuff that, in actuality, never happened.. just trying to get her to admit to it if she did anything. That's why she went crazy on the voicemail and come over to JB's house and everything. Later on she was laughing at it, saying "It's a good thing you didn't answer the door, because you'd probably be in the hospital right now!" HA HA HA VERY FUNNY, MOTHERFUCKER. ($10 to whoever gets that reference.) That's also when she told us about her beating everyone up, blah blah.

So, I guess things are okay now.. besides the fact that Todd is still in the dark. I feel absolutely terrible for him. I hope he just finds another reason to break up with her. Poor guy. I mean, look at him.

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-...llthefood!.jpg

mewl · 12-05-2003, 02:03 AM

jesus...

Onawhim · 12-05-2003, 02:03 AM

It sounds to me like this guy is in denial and has some serious self-esteem (god i hate that term) issues. I wouldn't worry about it even if they do get married it won't last i'm sure.

Helena Handbasket · 12-05-2003, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Onawhim
It sounds to me like this guy is in denial and has some serious self-esteem (god i hate that term) issues. I wouldn't worry about it even if they do get married it won't last i'm sure.

True.. I think on some level, he has to know. But he doesn't trust her now, so maybe they won't get married. But then again, why be with anyone that you don't trust?

Helena Handbasket · 12-05-2003, 02:55 AM

And, it's so much easier to break up than it is to get a divorce.

lawson · 12-05-2003, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Helena Handbasket
So, I guess things are okay now.. besides the fact that Todd is still in the dark. I feel absolutely terrible for him. I hope he just finds another reason to break up with her. Poor guy. I mean, look at him.

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-...llthefood!.jpg

things are not ok, only settled down. if you care about this poor guy who has obviously fallen for the wrong girl, you will tell him. chances are he won't find another reason to break up with her because he overlooks them. its up to you at this point, and if you cant stand up to this girl for yourself, stand up to her for him. poor bastard. dreaming of proposing to a girl that cheated on him last weekend? dreaming of proposing to a girl who's primary concern, when confronted with the possibility that you may rat her out, is having a place to live? a girl who threatens a friend by saying she'd put them in a hospital? you can't overlook those kinds of things. let me tell you, a person that wouldn't freak out and get violent over something like that would not joke about it either. only a person who was thinking "im gonna fucking kill that bitch" would joke about it later. a person who truely values their friendships with people, as it seems you do with her so much, would not think that way or have you feeling threatened even before the incident occurred.

i know you're thinking you dont want to lose this friend, and you dont want to feel responsible for her boyfriend losing her, but the truth of the matter is she'll be gone the minute she finds better (aka newer) friends. or a boyfriend with a nicer place.

Helena Handbasket · 12-05-2003, 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by PhantomFM

things are not ok, only settled down. if you care about this poor guy who has obviously fallen for the wrong girl, you will tell him. chances are he won't find another reason to break up with her because he overlooks them. its up to you at this point, and if you cant stand up to this girl for yourself, stand up to her for him. poor bastard. dreaming of proposing to a girl that cheated on him last weekend? dreaming of proposing to a girl who's primary concern, when confronted with the possibility that you may rat her out, is having a place to live? a girl who threatens a friend by saying she'd put them in a hospital? you can't overlook those kinds of things. let me tell you, a person that wouldn't freak out and get violent over something like that would not joke about it either. only a person who was thinking "im gonna fucking kill that bitch" would joke about it later. a person who truely values their friendships with people, as it seems you do with her so much, would not think that way or have you feeling threatened even before the incident occurred.

i know you're thinking you dont want to lose this friend, and you dont want to feel responsible for her boyfriend losing her, but the truth of the matter is she'll be gone the minute she finds better (aka newer) friends. or a boyfriend with a nicer place.

This is all very true. (Denise really is crazy, though.. and very, very violent.) I know she's not a true friend to me, but... ah, I dunno. I'm not only worried what she'd do to me, I'm worried as to if she'd hurt Todd. Which she has before. She beats him all the time. She isn't good for Todd and he deserves so much better. But, I think they are just overly depenedant on eachother, and don't know how to be apart from eachother.

I'm not at all denying that Todd needs to know the truth. That's the fact. But I would hate to be the cause of such destruction, even though the destruction would probably be for the better. At the same time, I don't want to see Denise's world fall apart and be left out on the streets. But, I don't want to see Todd stuck with someone who I don't think truly loves him and has a long history of being unfaithful to him.

Maybe I should call 1-800-222-TEEN. They always knew what to do back in the day.

lawson · 12-05-2003, 03:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Helena Handbasket
[b]She beats him all the time. She isn't good for Todd and he deserves so much better. But, I think they are just overly depenedant on eachother, and don't know how to be apart from eachother.

even more reason why they should be apart.

Quote:

But I would hate to be the cause of such destruction, even though the destruction would probably be for the better.

i would feel proud! once todd got over it he would surely thank you, though my guess from your description of him is that he'd thank you right away. denise will never thank you except in some underhanded way like "yea im so much happier now (infer: now that im not around you losers)"

Quote:

At the same time, I don't want to see Denise's world fall apart and be left out on the streets.

she'll find her way. sounds like that's what she's good at. that's worse case senerio. best case is it will be a wake up call.

Quote:

Maybe I should call 1-800-222-TEEN. They always knew what to do back in the day.

hehheh try it though they'll probably tell you the same thing, along with some kinna you might not have any of the same friends that you did when u were 19 but will have bad memories if you dont do something

12-04-2003, 03:08 AM	#1
Helena Handbasket Apocalyptic Poster Location: grove street Posts: 4,265	long, dramatic story. read if you like. Remember the cheating thread I made? Yeah.. Denise and I went to Columbus last weekend. She ended up cheating on her boyfried (Todd) with my friend (Rob). She had been planning on doing it, I tried to talk her out of it, tell her it wouldn't be worth it to lose Todd, blah blah. But she did it anyway. Denise knew I would tell Jabe (my boyfriend) about it. She knew I would tell Kenzie about it, too, and she didn't seem to mind. The only shitty thing was that I was faced with this huge moral dilemma (?) of 1. Letting Todd know that his girlfriend of 3 years cheated on him.. and this wasn't the first time. 2. Staying loyal to Denise, and not screwing up her relationship. I know it definitely isn't my place to tell Todd. That's up to Denise, even though I knew she wouldn't. I was talking to John the other morning (a friend of all of ours.. John and Todd have been friends for nearly 15 years) and just in passing I casually mentioned having a problem. He immediately started freaking out going "Denise cheated on Todd when you guys went to Columbus, didn't she?! I knew it! Todd has to know!" I convinced him that it wasn't our responsibility to tell Todd, and that would be wrong. Cut to this evening. Jabe decided we needed to have an "intervention" with Denise, and tell her that for her own good she needed to tell Todd before someone else did, if she wanted any chance of saving the relationship. Denise automatically started in on all this "I'm going to kill John. Tasha, why did you tell him? I'm not going to have a place to live now." She was basically trying to talk me into going back and lying to John, telling him that nothing happened... and to lie to Todd if he asks me about it. So, it pretty much turned into a "Tasha fucked up, now we have to fix it"session, like I'm the one who cheated or something. But then again, maybe I did fuck up. Maybe this wouldn't all be blowing up if I had just kept my mouth shut and kept it all on my conscience. Input, please.

12-04-2003, 03:10 AM	#2
Toby Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: the mtns Posts: 43,034	This is precisely why I steer clear of drama. I have nothing to do with shit like that.

12-04-2003, 03:18 AM	#4
Esty Netphorian of the Decade Location: Waiting in line for his geranium kiss Posts: 15,478	Denise sounds like a poor excuse for a friend and lover. I'd rat her out but that's me.

12-04-2003, 03:22 AM	#6
Helena Handbasket Apocalyptic Poster Location: grove street Posts: 4,265	Denise is also crazy. She's spent time in a mental hospital. I wouldn't put it past her to light my hair on fire.

12-04-2003, 03:23 AM	#7
Mason R Butler walks among us Location: MNUSA Posts: 7,768	When I get this sort of information, I make sure everybody else knows. People know I'm bad with "classified" stuff, so I never have to deal with it.

12-04-2003, 03:50 AM	#8
Lizard Queen Posts: n/a	Rat her out and move to Nigeria.

12-04-2003, 05:44 PM	#12
Helena Handbasket Apocalyptic Poster Location: grove street Posts: 4,265	Holy shit, Todd just called. He's wanting me to "tell the truth, please. Tasha, please."

12-04-2003, 06:02 PM	#14
I_was_aborted Minion of Satan Location: chicago Posts: 5,440	Just fucking tell her. Then laugh at your friend's problem.

12-04-2003, 08:16 PM	#16
sawdust restaurants Fucking Creep Location: On the East Coast Posts: 5,992	For this very reason, you never should have said anything to anybody who might have even had the most minuscule inkling of saying anything. I don't want to be mean, but you seem to bring this kind of drama upon yourself a lot, first with that boy (that was you, right?) and now with this.

12-04-2003, 08:21 PM	#17
gpub Minion of Satan Location: You's guys dont's likes the Toki... Well fucks you's Posts: 5,782	But ICe Cube had more amps.... get in bitch

12-05-2003, 01:57 AM	#22
Helena Handbasket Apocalyptic Poster Location: grove street Posts: 4,265	So, here's what happened. Todd called me (which has never happened before) while Denise was at work, begging me to "if I know anything more, please tell me. The rest of my life basically depends on what you say. I'm going to propose to Denise, unless I find out she's been unfaithful to me." But, I lied my ass off. Lied like a motherfucker. Which, of course, makes me feel terrible. Todd does not deserve to be lied to, and Denise doesn't deserve to be lied for. The only reason I lied to him is because, honestly, and I know you guys won't believe me, I'm afraid Denise would burn my house down or kill my dogs if I didn't lie to him. I guess you really just have to know her to understand. I tried to leave it a little open-ended... at first I was telling him that "Listen to me really carefully here, Todd.. as far as I know... nothing happened." But I ended up just flat out lying. So I go out to Jabe's house in Ironton. (where they all live, about half an hour away. I live in Portsmouth.) Around 7:00 my cell phone rings and it's Denise's number. Of course, I was too chicken to answer, so I let the voicemail get it. I listen to it afterwards, and all I can hear is screaming and banging and "TASHA I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNT!!" A few minutes later, we hear a car race up the street... and then very violent sounding banging on JB's front door. Did we answer it? Hell, no. Do you think we're crazy like Denise or something? Anyway, about fifteen minutes later, we hear cop cars racing down the street. Which we later found out was because Denise ended up hitting Todd in the face and broke his glasses.. throwing vosses.. punched Chris (another friend, he's weird though) in the face.. the usual. Around 9:30, I get a text message on my phone from her. It said "I'm not angry anymore, just upset. Will you come pick me and take me to the store, and we can talk? I'm too upset to drive." I called her back, and told her I wasn't coming unless Jabe could come, too. She agreed. So, we get in the car and go over there, pick her up.. This is when she explains to me that the voicemail she left me was because Todd told her that I told him that she and Rob had sex, and did all kinds of other stuff that, in actuality, never happened.. just trying to get her to admit to it if she did anything. That's why she went crazy on the voicemail and come over to JB's house and everything. Later on she was laughing at it, saying "It's a good thing you didn't answer the door, because you'd probably be in the hospital right now!" HA HA HA VERY FUNNY, MOTHERFUCKER. ($10 to whoever gets that reference.) That's also when she told us about her beating everyone up, blah blah. So, I guess things are okay now.. besides the fact that Todd is still in the dark. I feel absolutely terrible for him. I hope he just finds another reason to break up with her. Poor guy. I mean, look at him. http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-...llthefood!.jpg

12-05-2003, 02:03 AM	#23
mewl Socialphobic Posts: 14,498	jesus...

12-05-2003, 02:03 AM	#24
Onawhim Demi-God Posts: 284	It sounds to me like this guy is in denial and has some serious self-esteem (god i hate that term) issues. I wouldn't worry about it even if they do get married it won't last i'm sure.

12-05-2003, 02:55 AM	#26
Helena Handbasket Apocalyptic Poster Location: grove street Posts: 4,265	And, it's so much easier to break up than it is to get a divorce.