funny email i got

Isle · 12-04-2003, 05:42 PM

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous

On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.

If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the
door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the
spook.

8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was
stoned off his ass.

10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it
for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .

12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.

13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
grub, Yeah God.

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter
pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

i love no.8

2Marlon2Brando · 12-04-2003, 05:43 PM

Where is the link to the funny email?

I_was_aborted · 12-04-2003, 05:44 PM

I laughed the first time I read it.......a year or two ago.

GreenEggsNSpam · 12-04-2003, 05:45 PM

I didnt laugh at one of those jokes.

Isle · 12-04-2003, 05:50 PM

it's hard staying in the loop when you live under a rock in the jungles of borneo.

Ihaman · 12-04-2003, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Isle
it's hard staying in the loop when you live under a rock in the jungles of borneo.

How are you able to get electricity under this rock?

Nimrod's Son · 12-04-2003, 05:52 PM

You should have just entitled the thread "Email I Got" and let us draw our own conclusions.

I_was_aborted · 12-04-2003, 05:58 PM

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the
spook.

Only part that made me laugh....maybe also because spook is a racial slang...and it seems even worse to call the holy ghost a racial slang.

12-04-2003, 05:42 PM	#1
Isle Braindead Location: Unison Posts: 19,375	funny email i got A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp. 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. 8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T." 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" . 12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,. 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. i love no.8

12-04-2003, 05:52 PM	#7
Nimrod's Son Master of Karate and Friendship Location: in your butt Posts: 72,943	You should have just entitled the thread "Email I Got" and let us draw our own conclusions. __________________ - Nimrod's Son: Problem Solver!

12-04-2003, 05:43 PM	#2
2Marlon2Brando Socialphobic Location: sometimes the same is different but mostly it's the same Posts: 14,519	Where is the link to the funny email?

12-04-2003, 05:44 PM	#3
I_was_aborted Minion of Satan Location: chicago Posts: 5,440	I laughed the first time I read it.......a year or two ago.

12-04-2003, 05:45 PM	#4
GreenEggsNSpam GreenStarsNSpam Location: Newfoundand, Canada Posts: 11,216	I didnt laugh at one of those jokes.

12-04-2003, 05:50 PM	#5
Isle Braindead Location: Unison Posts: 19,375	it's hard staying in the loop when you live under a rock in the jungles of borneo.

12-04-2003, 05:58 PM	#8
I_was_aborted Minion of Satan Location: chicago Posts: 5,440	7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. Only part that made me laugh....maybe also because spook is a racial slang...and it seems even worse to call the holy ghost a racial slang.