How to make love to a feline

Cactuar · 10-12-2002, 05:18 AM

How to Make Love to Felines

Copyright notice: This guide is copyrighted by CeTe and may not be posted elsewhere without my express permission. Send your comments, compliments and constructive criticisms to CeTe@gmx.li

Disclaimer: The author assumes no responsibility for any action inspired by this guide. All information herein is supplied without liability.

You are an animal lover, you have a cat, and you want to make love to it. But how? This compact zooguide may help you out.

I. Anatomy and mating behavior

Before learning how to have sex with felines, you should know what their atonomy is, and how they behave while mating.

The tomcat´s genitals are anatomically different from the human ones.

About three lines below his anus, there is his scrotum including his testicles, two pea-sized balls that produce the sperm.

Further five lines beneath them, you will find his sheath. Pull it back carefully with your thumb and your forefinger, and you will see his glans emerging.

His relaxed, one-inch-long penis lies inside his abdomen. Like male dogs, he has a penis bone to support his erectile tissue.

A specifically feline characteristic is his horn spines on his glans. They is his most erogenous zone, also functioning as barbs during copulation. As definite hormones cause these tiny spines, neutered toms lose them a while after castration.

When you stimulate his penis, it erects by twice its length to two inches and turns forward into its adequate mating position.

During his orgasm, several drops or four and a half minims of his thin semen squirt out of his penis.

The reproductive organs of a cat, though, are more similar to the human ones.

They consist of her two ovaries, her uterus and her vagina that is a half inch long and almost a full inch underneath her anus.

Three times a year, a cat gets in heat that leasts one week on the average, when her ovum moves thru one of her two fallopian tubes to be fertilized.

In this time, she behaves restlessly and highly attractive to all potent tomcats.

Both toms and cats are used to spraying their urine to mark their territoy that is either their hunting ground or your house. To humans, the tom´s urine smells far stronger than the cat´s one. This individual scent reveals a lot of information to other cats, for example, that a cat is in heat.

When a heaty cat encounters an everpotent tom, she presents him herself. After a rigid foreplay, the cat lies down straight so that the tom bends over her from behind, bites cautiously into her loose neck fur to hold fast as well as to protect himself from her possible resistance and inserts his penis into her vagina.

Once inside her, he begins shoving hornily, ejaculates, and not more than five seconds later, the tom withdraws. Thereby, his sharp spines rub against her sensitive vaginal walls and her g-spot; she hisses arousedly, snaps at him; he jumps away.

In safe distance, the tom sits down, starts licking himself; the cat rolls over and does the same; both recover trom their strenous mating.

Certainly, this might seem to be violence, but it is love, catlove.

II. Caressing a tomcat

Now you know enought to approach your tom. As I said, a fertile tomcat is always ready for an erotic caress.

You best sit down, put him on your lap and start stroking him with your open palms from his front to his backside. Your tom commences purring. One of your hands keeps on petting him tenderly whereas your other one slowly moves to his rear.

Begin exploring it, touch his solid nuts and his soft sheath, wait for his reaction: If he keeps calm, carry on, otherwise, let him in peace and try it later again.

Following, put your tranquil tomcat on the ground and lie down beside him. Fondling him further, you pull back his sheath so that his touchy penis appears. Purse your lips, enlcose it and start sucking.

As soon as his cock gets hard, you use your tongue to lick his rough, spiny glans till your tom reaches an excited orgasm. He gives you a load of his aromatic fluid and plenty of thankfulness.

III. Caressing a cat

Likewise, you caress your cat, but first of all, I must point out something many men have already asked me for: You cannot penetrate her with your penis cos a cat´s vagina is much too small for such things. Nonetheless, there are enough alternatives.

Maybe your cat will not be perceptive to you as she might be out of heat. Then she will reject your oventures by hissing, scratching or even biting you.

You will recognize her mind by her tail: a twitching tail means "Watch out!" a motionless one means "Go on!"

Once more, you commence with lying down next to your resting cat. Start petting her, graze her vulva and see how she responses: If she begins purring, you are allowed to make her feel better than ever before. You open your mouth, stretch out your tongue and lick her pussy.

She may relax so far that you are able to push the tip of your tongue into her smooth, wet vagina. Licking and sucking her off, you bring her to climax.

IV. Getting caressed by a feline

After a few times, when you trust in your feline, you should try to get caressed by it.

As a beginner, rub in your genitals with its favorite food it will lick off ardently.

Do not be afraid! After many years of experience with a couple of various felines, I ensure you none will hurt you by its teeth. Instead, it is so fond, and with its rough tongue, it will give you an unforgettable orgasm.

Eventually, you will do this without any aid.

No matter what you are going to do with your feline, remember it is a living creature like you. Be loving!

Have a joyful time with your lover!

© CeTe

Mr. Godfuck · 10-12-2002, 05:27 AM

shaniqua · 10-12-2002, 05:28 AM

gross why the fuck did i just read that all?

10-12-2002, 05:30 AM

I never use smileys, but I feel there is one that can express my feelings more than words ever could:

relaxor! · 10-12-2002, 05:31 AM

That's horrible. But, sadly, I read on with interest. Just horrible.

Mr. Godfuck · 10-12-2002, 05:33 AM

quite frankly, i was kind of turned on. Infact, i had an erection throughout my reading of the article

troo, troo

Cactuar · 10-12-2002, 05:41 AM

Mr. Godfuck · 10-12-2002, 05:44 AM

it's troo..I'd go down on Garfield any day

strange_one · 10-12-2002, 05:45 AM

I would imagine that a feline pussy would taste pretty awful if you were giving it oral. you'd have to be pretty fucked in the head to even attempt it. interesting read though, thanks glenn

beef curtains · 10-12-2002, 02:44 PM

WWW.DOLPHINSEX.ORG

sickbadthing · 10-12-2002, 02:46 PM

Didn't read. Already know how to fuck my cat.

sickbadthing · 10-12-2002, 02:47 PM

I slowly entered the zoo. As I looked to the left I saw a panda sitting all alone. I slowly walked over to his cage. He walked up to the fence and handed me a peice of bambo. He was all alone and it was getting late. The zoo was starting to get empty so I jumped the fence. I hid behind his little house in the fenced in yard. He walked over to me and I knew what he wanted. I slowly started to take off my shirt. He watched me as I did this. I could see his prick growing. My mouth started to water I couldn't resist. I leaned over and took almost his total length into my mouth. I was sucking his cock as hard as I could. I could feel him start to breathe heavily. Then I felt the most enjoyable sensation. He shot his hot load deep into my mouth. I sit there with my mouth still around his prick. He then shot off another load this time filling my mouth full of his hot panda cum. I let him out of my mouth, I stood up and took my pants off. My penis stuck out like a spear. He looked at it and cooed. I smiled as he looked hard at my dick. I was going commando this morning so I did not have on any underwear. I got down on my hands and knees. I felt a sudden jarring sensation and I realized that he was really mounting me. My body was starting to rock back and forth frm his force. His dick was slowly entering me. He was finally as deep as he could get. He started to fuck me harder than my dad could ever dream of. I started to trust against him with each of his thrusts. I could feel him starting to cum agian. He shot of load after load deep into my ass. I felt him pull out. He walked over to a pile of bambo that was his bed. He layed down on it and went to sleep. I grabbed my pants and shirt. I quickly put them on and jumped the fence. My pants got stuck on the fence as I was going over. I quickly slipped out of them and ran home. A cop chased me down. I had to explain to him why I had cum dripping out of my ass and oozing down my legs. He told me to assume the postion. I was standing there wiht my legs spread wide when I heard *zip*. A smile appeared over my face as I felt him slap his dick against my ass. He started to go in slowly at first then started to pound my already sore ass harder than the panda did. I heard him grunt then he shot his hot load into my tortured ass. He then gave me a ride home. I walked in the door and there was my dad and the dog on the couch fighting over who will get analy penetrated first. I smiled this is a good night.

even though the night was coming to an end, there was still much unrealised fun to be had. i sat down on the porch, not wanting to get caught in the middle of my dads and the dogs fight. i sat there thinking about the panda, and before i knew it, my cock was rock hard so i pulled it out and slowly started caressing it. i layed on my back with my ass up in the air masturbating and eventually came all over my face. just as i blew my hot load, two male jehova's witnesses came up to the door and eyed me. i stood up quickly with my pants still down and cum dripping down my face. one asked me if i would like to convert, but before i could respond, the other one pulled out his massive cock and started jerking off. the first guy looked disgusted and started to say something, but then the other started beating him senseless with his humongous cock. i stared in awe as the dude was getting the shit beat outta him. i quickly jumped in with my cock flailing wildly and started beating the guy as well. eventually the guy fell down and we curbed him. i looked at his dead body and couldnt look away from his ass. so i stripped his dead body down and mounted him. all of a sudden i felt anal penetration and looked behind me, the other guy was riding me like a cowboy. as all this was happening, my dad and the dog came outside. my dad mounted the dog, who was mounting the other guy. we went on for hours. all of a sudden a 80 year old woman came walking down the street on a walker. for no apparent reason she flashed us, but, she had a cock. she came over and i started sucking on it. this was a very good night indeed

even though it was now early in the morning, and everyone had since left and was asleep in their cozy little beds, i was still wide awake and ready for action. i got out of bed and walked into the kitchin. i searched around for a jar of peanut butter. i finally found one and applied a thick layer to my throbbing cock. i walked over to the dog and stuck my dick in its face. it proceeded to lick and lick until i blew my hot and steamy load all over its face and down its throat. i then applied another layer to my anus and walked over to the dog.. as before, he started to lick.. i was masturbating furiously as the dog licked my asshole clean. i blew my load outside an open window and the dog chased after it. "stupid fucking dog" i thought to myself. out of nowhere my mom walked by with stone phillips tucked in her arms. out of boredom, i tried to suck my own cock, but to no avail. suddenly the dog jumped back in the window with a big strap on attached it. i thought to myself, "this looks promising". i layed on my back and the dog inserted the strap on into my ass, all the while i sucked on his big hairy dog penis.. he blew his load all down my throat and i sucked it all up. the dog then stoop up on his hind legs and started singing respect by arethra franklin. this looked to be an interesting day

Johnny Zoloft · 10-12-2002, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sickbadthing
I slowly entered the zoo. As I looked to the left I saw a panda sitting all alone. I slowly walked over to his cage. He walked up to the fence and handed me a peice of bambo. He was all alone and it was getting late. The zoo was starting to get empty so I jumped the fence. I hid behind his little house in the fenced in yard. He walked over to me and I knew what he wanted. I slowly started to take off my shirt. He watched me as I did this. I could see his prick growing. My mouth started to water I couldn't resist. I leaned over and took almost his total length into my mouth. I was sucking his cock as hard as I could. I could feel him start to breathe heavily. Then I felt the most enjoyable sensation. He shot his hot load deep into my mouth. I sit there with my mouth still around his prick. He then shot off another load this time filling my mouth full of his hot panda cum. I let him out of my mouth, I stood up and took my pants off. My penis stuck out like a spear. He looked at it and cooed. I smiled as he looked hard at my dick. I was going commando this morning so I did not have on any underwear. I got down on my hands and knees. I felt a sudden jarring sensation and I realized that he was really mounting me. My body was starting to rock back and forth frm his force. His dick was slowly entering me. He was finally as deep as he could get. He started to fuck me harder than my dad could ever dream of. I started to trust against him with each of his thrusts. I could feel him starting to cum agian. He shot of load after load deep into my ass. I felt him pull out. He walked over to a pile of bambo that was his bed. He layed down on it and went to sleep. I grabbed my pants and shirt. I quickly put them on and jumped the fence. My pants got stuck on the fence as I was going over. I quickly slipped out of them and ran home. A cop chased me down. I had to explain to him why I had cum dripping out of my ass and oozing down my legs. He told me to assume the postion. I was standing there wiht my legs spread wide when I heard *zip*. A smile appeared over my face as I felt him slap his dick against my ass. He started to go in slowly at first then started to pound my already sore ass harder than the panda did. I heard him grunt then he shot his hot load into my tortured ass. He then gave me a ride home. I walked in the door and there was my dad and the dog on the couch fighting over who will get analy penetrated first. I smiled this is a good night.

even though the night was coming to an end, there was still much unrealised fun to be had. i sat down on the porch, not wanting to get caught in the middle of my dads and the dogs fight. i sat there thinking about the panda, and before i knew it, my cock was rock hard so i pulled it out and slowly started caressing it. i layed on my back with my ass up in the air masturbating and eventually came all over my face. just as i blew my hot load, two male jehova's witnesses came up to the door and eyed me. i stood up quickly with my pants still down and cum dripping down my face. one asked me if i would like to convert, but before i could respond, the other one pulled out his massive cock and started jerking off. the first guy looked disgusted and started to say something, but then the other started beating him senseless with his humongous cock. i stared in awe as the dude was getting the shit beat outta him. i quickly jumped in with my cock flailing wildly and started beating the guy as well. eventually the guy fell down and we curbed him. i looked at his dead body and couldnt look away from his ass. so i stripped his dead body down and mounted him. all of a sudden i felt anal penetration and looked behind me, the other guy was riding me like a cowboy. as all this was happening, my dad and the dog came outside. my dad mounted the dog, who was mounting the other guy. we went on for hours. all of a sudden a 80 year old woman came walking down the street on a walker. for no apparent reason she flashed us, but, she had a cock. she came over and i started sucking on it. this was a very good night indeed

even though it was now early in the morning, and everyone had since left and was asleep in their cozy little beds, i was still wide awake and ready for action. i got out of bed and walked into the kitchin. i searched around for a jar of peanut butter. i finally found one and applied a thick layer to my throbbing cock. i walked over to the dog and stuck my dick in its face. it proceeded to lick and lick until i blew my hot and steamy load all over its face and down its throat. i then applied another layer to my anus and walked over to the dog.. as before, he started to lick.. i was masturbating furiously as the dog licked my asshole clean. i blew my load outside an open window and the dog chased after it. "stupid fucking dog" i thought to myself. out of nowhere my mom walked by with stone phillips tucked in her arms. out of boredom, i tried to suck my own cock, but to no avail. suddenly the dog jumped back in the window with a big strap on attached it. i thought to myself, "this looks promising". i layed on my back and the dog inserted the strap on into my ass, all the while i sucked on his big hairy dog penis.. he blew his load all down my throat and i sucked it all up. the dog then stoop up on his hind legs and started singing respect by arethra franklin. this looked to be an interesting day

wow. that was really entertaining.

Affect · 10-12-2002, 03:09 PM

BREAK WALLS APART WITH YOUR BIG COCK! 21022

shaniqua · 10-12-2002, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sickbadthing
I slowly entered the zoo. As I looked to the left I saw a panda sitting all alone. I slowly walked over to his cage. He walked up to the fence and handed me a peice of bambo. He was all alone and it was getting late. The zoo was starting to get empty so I jumped the fence. I hid behind his little house in the fenced in yard. He walked over to me and I knew what he wanted. I slowly started to take off my shirt. He watched me as I did this. I could see his prick growing. My mouth started to water I couldn't resist. I leaned over and took almost his total length into my mouth. I was sucking his cock as hard as I could. I could feel him start to breathe heavily. Then I felt the most enjoyable sensation. He shot his hot load deep into my mouth. I sit there with my mouth still around his prick. He then shot off another load this time filling my mouth full of his hot panda cum. I let him out of my mouth, I stood up and took my pants off. My penis stuck out like a spear. He looked at it and cooed. I smiled as he looked hard at my dick. I was going commando this morning so I did not have on any underwear. I got down on my hands and knees. I felt a sudden jarring sensation and I realized that he was really mounting me. My body was starting to rock back and forth frm his force. His dick was slowly entering me. He was finally as deep as he could get. He started to fuck me harder than my dad could ever dream of. I started to trust against him with each of his thrusts. I could feel him starting to cum agian. He shot of load after load deep into my ass. I felt him pull out. He walked over to a pile of bambo that was his bed. He layed down on it and went to sleep. I grabbed my pants and shirt. I quickly put them on and jumped the fence. My pants got stuck on the fence as I was going over. I quickly slipped out of them and ran home. A cop chased me down. I had to explain to him why I had cum dripping out of my ass and oozing down my legs. He told me to assume the postion. I was standing there wiht my legs spread wide when I heard *zip*. A smile appeared over my face as I felt him slap his dick against my ass. He started to go in slowly at first then started to pound my already sore ass harder than the panda did. I heard him grunt then he shot his hot load into my tortured ass. He then gave me a ride home. I walked in the door and there was my dad and the dog on the couch fighting over who will get analy penetrated first. I smiled this is a good night.

even though the night was coming to an end, there was still much unrealised fun to be had. i sat down on the porch, not wanting to get caught in the middle of my dads and the dogs fight. i sat there thinking about the panda, and before i knew it, my cock was rock hard so i pulled it out and slowly started caressing it. i layed on my back with my ass up in the air masturbating and eventually came all over my face. just as i blew my hot load, two male jehova's witnesses came up to the door and eyed me. i stood up quickly with my pants still down and cum dripping down my face. one asked me if i would like to convert, but before i could respond, the other one pulled out his massive cock and started jerking off. the first guy looked disgusted and started to say something, but then the other started beating him senseless with his humongous cock. i stared in awe as the dude was getting the shit beat outta him. i quickly jumped in with my cock flailing wildly and started beating the guy as well. eventually the guy fell down and we curbed him. i looked at his dead body and couldnt look away from his ass. so i stripped his dead body down and mounted him. all of a sudden i felt anal penetration and looked behind me, the other guy was riding me like a cowboy. as all this was happening, my dad and the dog came outside. my dad mounted the dog, who was mounting the other guy. we went on for hours. all of a sudden a 80 year old woman came walking down the street on a walker. for no apparent reason she flashed us, but, she had a cock. she came over and i started sucking on it. this was a very good night indeed

even though it was now early in the morning, and everyone had since left and was asleep in their cozy little beds, i was still wide awake and ready for action. i got out of bed and walked into the kitchin. i searched around for a jar of peanut butter. i finally found one and applied a thick layer to my throbbing cock. i walked over to the dog and stuck my dick in its face. it proceeded to lick and lick until i blew my hot and steamy load all over its face and down its throat. i then applied another layer to my anus and walked over to the dog.. as before, he started to lick.. i was masturbating furiously as the dog licked my asshole clean. i blew my load outside an open window and the dog chased after it. "stupid fucking dog" i thought to myself. out of nowhere my mom walked by with stone phillips tucked in her arms. out of boredom, i tried to suck my own cock, but to no avail. suddenly the dog jumped back in the window with a big strap on attached it. i thought to myself, "this looks promising". i layed on my back and the dog inserted the strap on into my ass, all the while i sucked on his big hairy dog penis.. he blew his load all down my throat and i sucked it all up. the dog then stoop up on his hind legs and started singing respect by arethra franklin. this looked to be an interesting day

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAZHAHA

archive!

THRILLHO · 10-12-2002, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sickbadthing
I slowly entered the zoo. As I looked to the left I saw a panda sitting all alone. I slowly walked over to his cage. He walked up to the fence and handed me a peice of bambo. He was all alone and it was getting late. The zoo was starting to get empty so I jumped the fence. I hid behind his little house in the fenced in yard. He walked over to me and I knew what he wanted. I slowly started to take off my shirt. He watched me as I did this. I could see his prick growing. My mouth started to water I couldn't resist. I leaned over and took almost his total length into my mouth. I was sucking his cock as hard as I could. I could feel him start to breathe heavily. Then I felt the most enjoyable sensation. He shot his hot load deep into my mouth. I sit there with my mouth still around his prick. He then shot off another load this time filling my mouth full of his hot panda cum. I let him out of my mouth, I stood up and took my pants off. My penis stuck out like a spear. He looked at it and cooed. I smiled as he looked hard at my dick. I was going commando this morning so I did not have on any underwear. I got down on my hands and knees. I felt a sudden jarring sensation and I realized that he was really mounting me. My body was starting to rock back and forth frm his force. His dick was slowly entering me. He was finally as deep as he could get. He started to fuck me harder than my dad could ever dream of. I started to trust against him with each of his thrusts. I could feel him starting to cum agian. He shot of load after load deep into my ass. I felt him pull out. He walked over to a pile of bambo that was his bed. He layed down on it and went to sleep. I grabbed my pants and shirt. I quickly put them on and jumped the fence. My pants got stuck on the fence as I was going over. I quickly slipped out of them and ran home. A cop chased me down. I had to explain to him why I had cum dripping out of my ass and oozing down my legs. He told me to assume the postion. I was standing there wiht my legs spread wide when I heard *zip*. A smile appeared over my face as I felt him slap his dick against my ass. He started to go in slowly at first then started to pound my already sore ass harder than the panda did. I heard him grunt then he shot his hot load into my tortured ass. He then gave me a ride home. I walked in the door and there was my dad and the dog on the couch fighting over who will get analy penetrated first. I smiled this is a good night.

even though the night was coming to an end, there was still much unrealised fun to be had. i sat down on the porch, not wanting to get caught in the middle of my dads and the dogs fight. i sat there thinking about the panda, and before i knew it, my cock was rock hard so i pulled it out and slowly started caressing it. i layed on my back with my ass up in the air masturbating and eventually came all over my face. just as i blew my hot load, two male jehova's witnesses came up to the door and eyed me. i stood up quickly with my pants still down and cum dripping down my face. one asked me if i would like to convert, but before i could respond, the other one pulled out his massive cock and started jerking off. the first guy looked disgusted and started to say something, but then the other started beating him senseless with his humongous cock. i stared in awe as the dude was getting the shit beat outta him. i quickly jumped in with my cock flailing wildly and started beating the guy as well. eventually the guy fell down and we curbed him. i looked at his dead body and couldnt look away from his ass. so i stripped his dead body down and mounted him. all of a sudden i felt anal penetration and looked behind me, the other guy was riding me like a cowboy. as all this was happening, my dad and the dog came outside. my dad mounted the dog, who was mounting the other guy. we went on for hours. all of a sudden a 80 year old woman came walking down the street on a walker. for no apparent reason she flashed us, but, she had a cock. she came over and i started sucking on it. this was a very good night indeed

even though it was now early in the morning, and everyone had since left and was asleep in their cozy little beds, i was still wide awake and ready for action. i got out of bed and walked into the kitchin. i searched around for a jar of peanut butter. i finally found one and applied a thick layer to my throbbing cock. i walked over to the dog and stuck my dick in its face. it proceeded to lick and lick until i blew my hot and steamy load all over its face and down its throat. i then applied another layer to my anus and walked over to the dog.. as before, he started to lick.. i was masturbating furiously as the dog licked my asshole clean. i blew my load outside an open window and the dog chased after it. "stupid fucking dog" i thought to myself. out of nowhere my mom walked by with stone phillips tucked in her arms. out of boredom, i tried to suck my own cock, but to no avail. suddenly the dog jumped back in the window with a big strap on attached it. i thought to myself, "this looks promising". i layed on my back and the dog inserted the strap on into my ass, all the while i sucked on his big hairy dog penis.. he blew his load all down my throat and i sucked it all up. the dog then stoop up on his hind legs and started singing respect by arethra franklin. this looked to be an interesting day

porn is so much better when you write it on PCP!

jenn · 10-12-2002, 04:18 PM

this thread =

Mr. Godfuck · 10-12-2002, 06:41 PM

(In the melody of row, row, row your boat)....

Fuck fuck fuck a duck,
Screw a kangaroo,
Finger-bang an orangutang,
An orgy at the zoo!

melancholymystic · 10-12-2002, 07:35 PM

Skye · 10-13-2002, 12:41 AM

"Certainly, this might seem to be violence, but it is love, catlove."

*gasp*

noir cat · 10-17-2002, 06:16 PM

I must get around to reading the rest of this when I get home...

Shannon: Have you ever seen this episode of "King of the Hill" where Hank Hill gets raped by a dolphin? Or, actually, just molested... one of those. :Thumbsup:. : )

noir cat · 10-17-2002, 09:15 PM

Chris's writing brings a tear to my eye.

: )

noir cat · 10-17-2002, 10:48 PM

Hey.
This is a good thread.

SHAN. Thnx for the dolphin link. :x

DeviousJ · 10-18-2002, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by undivinemartyr
Chris's writing brings a tear to my eye.

: )

noir cat · 10-22-2002, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pale_princess

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAZHAHA

archive!

Cactuar · 10-22-2002, 11:44 PM

CHRIS

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT

IF YOU WROTE IT YOU ARE MY GOD

beef curtains · 10-23-2002, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by undivinemartyr
Hey.
This is a good thread.

SHAN. Thnx for the dolphin link. :x

one of the first times dave and i spoke, he sent me the link to dolphinsex.org
I knew it was <3 at that very moment

wait, you don't actually enjoy that do you???
i bet you like the smurfs gangbang story too!

Squashing Pineapples · 10-23-2002, 02:06 AM

http://dbhs.wvusd.k12.ca.us/Humor/cat-carrier.jpg

10-12-2002, 05:18 AM	#1
Cactuar Apocalyptic Poster Location: ur pants lol Posts: 2,915	How to make love to a feline How to Make Love to Felines Copyright notice: This guide is copyrighted by CeTe and may not be posted elsewhere without my express permission. Send your comments, compliments and constructive criticisms to CeTe@gmx.li Disclaimer: The author assumes no responsibility for any action inspired by this guide. All information herein is supplied without liability. You are an animal lover, you have a cat, and you want to make love to it. But how? This compact zooguide may help you out. I. Anatomy and mating behavior Before learning how to have sex with felines, you should know what their atonomy is, and how they behave while mating. The tomcat´s genitals are anatomically different from the human ones. About three lines below his anus, there is his scrotum including his testicles, two pea-sized balls that produce the sperm. Further five lines beneath them, you will find his sheath. Pull it back carefully with your thumb and your forefinger, and you will see his glans emerging. His relaxed, one-inch-long penis lies inside his abdomen. Like male dogs, he has a penis bone to support his erectile tissue. A specifically feline characteristic is his horn spines on his glans. They is his most erogenous zone, also functioning as barbs during copulation. As definite hormones cause these tiny spines, neutered toms lose them a while after castration. When you stimulate his penis, it erects by twice its length to two inches and turns forward into its adequate mating position. During his orgasm, several drops or four and a half minims of his thin semen squirt out of his penis. The reproductive organs of a cat, though, are more similar to the human ones. They consist of her two ovaries, her uterus and her vagina that is a half inch long and almost a full inch underneath her anus. Three times a year, a cat gets in heat that leasts one week on the average, when her ovum moves thru one of her two fallopian tubes to be fertilized. In this time, she behaves restlessly and highly attractive to all potent tomcats. Both toms and cats are used to spraying their urine to mark their territoy that is either their hunting ground or your house. To humans, the tom´s urine smells far stronger than the cat´s one. This individual scent reveals a lot of information to other cats, for example, that a cat is in heat. When a heaty cat encounters an everpotent tom, she presents him herself. After a rigid foreplay, the cat lies down straight so that the tom bends over her from behind, bites cautiously into her loose neck fur to hold fast as well as to protect himself from her possible resistance and inserts his penis into her vagina. Once inside her, he begins shoving hornily, ejaculates, and not more than five seconds later, the tom withdraws. Thereby, his sharp spines rub against her sensitive vaginal walls and her g-spot; she hisses arousedly, snaps at him; he jumps away. In safe distance, the tom sits down, starts licking himself; the cat rolls over and does the same; both recover trom their strenous mating. Certainly, this might seem to be violence, but it is love, catlove. II. Caressing a tomcat Now you know enought to approach your tom. As I said, a fertile tomcat is always ready for an erotic caress. You best sit down, put him on your lap and start stroking him with your open palms from his front to his backside. Your tom commences purring. One of your hands keeps on petting him tenderly whereas your other one slowly moves to his rear. Begin exploring it, touch his solid nuts and his soft sheath, wait for his reaction: If he keeps calm, carry on, otherwise, let him in peace and try it later again. Following, put your tranquil tomcat on the ground and lie down beside him. Fondling him further, you pull back his sheath so that his touchy penis appears. Purse your lips, enlcose it and start sucking. As soon as his cock gets hard, you use your tongue to lick his rough, spiny glans till your tom reaches an excited orgasm. He gives you a load of his aromatic fluid and plenty of thankfulness. III. Caressing a cat Likewise, you caress your cat, but first of all, I must point out something many men have already asked me for: You cannot penetrate her with your penis cos a cat´s vagina is much too small for such things. Nonetheless, there are enough alternatives. Maybe your cat will not be perceptive to you as she might be out of heat. Then she will reject your oventures by hissing, scratching or even biting you. You will recognize her mind by her tail: a twitching tail means "Watch out!" a motionless one means "Go on!" Once more, you commence with lying down next to your resting cat. Start petting her, graze her vulva and see how she responses: If she begins purring, you are allowed to make her feel better than ever before. You open your mouth, stretch out your tongue and lick her pussy. She may relax so far that you are able to push the tip of your tongue into her smooth, wet vagina. Licking and sucking her off, you bring her to climax. IV. Getting caressed by a feline After a few times, when you trust in your feline, you should try to get caressed by it. As a beginner, rub in your genitals with its favorite food it will lick off ardently. Do not be afraid! After many years of experience with a couple of various felines, I ensure you none will hurt you by its teeth. Instead, it is so fond, and with its rough tongue, it will give you an unforgettable orgasm. Eventually, you will do this without any aid. No matter what you are going to do with your feline, remember it is a living creature like you. Be loving! Have a joyful time with your lover! © CeTe

10-12-2002, 05:28 AM	#3
shaniqua Minion of Satan Location: that's my prerogative Posts: 7,420	gross why the fuck did i just read that all? __________________ "everytime i try to fly i fall." ********for(var i = 0; i < document.****************("img").length; i++) if (document.****************("img")[i].src == 'http://forums.netphoria.org/avatar.php?userid=1962&dateline=1085644390')document.****************** ("img")[i].src = 'http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v340/slutbot/britney.jpg';

10-12-2002, 05:30 AM	#4
Mr. Rhinoceros Posts: n/a	Oh gross, Glenn. I never use smileys, but I feel there is one that can express my feelings more than words ever could:

10-12-2002, 05:31 AM	#5
relaxor! Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 3,688	That's horrible. But, sadly, I read on with interest. Just horrible. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

10-12-2002, 02:44 PM	#10
beef curtains Immortal Location: I like me so much better when you're naked Posts: 21,752	WWW.DOLPHINSEX.ORG __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

10-12-2002, 05:33 AM	#6
Mr. Godfuck Pledge Posts: 190	quite frankly, i was kind of turned on. Infact, i had an erection throughout my reading of the article troo, troo

10-12-2002, 05:41 AM	#7
Cactuar Apocalyptic Poster Location: ur pants lol Posts: 2,915	what

10-12-2002, 05:44 AM	#8
Mr. Godfuck Pledge Posts: 190	it's troo..I'd go down on Garfield any day

10-12-2002, 05:45 AM	#9
strange_one No Chance Location: Here Posts: 13,788	I would imagine that a feline pussy would taste pretty awful if you were giving it oral. you'd have to be pretty fucked in the head to even attempt it. interesting read though, thanks glenn

10-12-2002, 02:46 PM	#11
sickbadthing Out fart the hottie! Location: I have super gonorrhoea Posts: 24,316	Didn't read. Already know how to fuck my cat.

10-12-2002, 02:47 PM	#12
sickbadthing Out fart the hottie! Location: I have super gonorrhoea Posts: 24,316	I slowly entered the zoo. As I looked to the left I saw a panda sitting all alone. I slowly walked over to his cage. He walked up to the fence and handed me a peice of bambo. He was all alone and it was getting late. The zoo was starting to get empty so I jumped the fence. I hid behind his little house in the fenced in yard. He walked over to me and I knew what he wanted. I slowly started to take off my shirt. He watched me as I did this. I could see his prick growing. My mouth started to water I couldn't resist. I leaned over and took almost his total length into my mouth. I was sucking his cock as hard as I could. I could feel him start to breathe heavily. Then I felt the most enjoyable sensation. He shot his hot load deep into my mouth. I sit there with my mouth still around his prick. He then shot off another load this time filling my mouth full of his hot panda cum. I let him out of my mouth, I stood up and took my pants off. My penis stuck out like a spear. He looked at it and cooed. I smiled as he looked hard at my dick. I was going commando this morning so I did not have on any underwear. I got down on my hands and knees. I felt a sudden jarring sensation and I realized that he was really mounting me. My body was starting to rock back and forth frm his force. His dick was slowly entering me. He was finally as deep as he could get. He started to fuck me harder than my dad could ever dream of. I started to trust against him with each of his thrusts. I could feel him starting to cum agian. He shot of load after load deep into my ass. I felt him pull out. He walked over to a pile of bambo that was his bed. He layed down on it and went to sleep. I grabbed my pants and shirt. I quickly put them on and jumped the fence. My pants got stuck on the fence as I was going over. I quickly slipped out of them and ran home. A cop chased me down. I had to explain to him why I had cum dripping out of my ass and oozing down my legs. He told me to assume the postion. I was standing there wiht my legs spread wide when I heard zip. A smile appeared over my face as I felt him slap his dick against my ass. He started to go in slowly at first then started to pound my already sore ass harder than the panda did. I heard him grunt then he shot his hot load into my tortured ass. He then gave me a ride home. I walked in the door and there was my dad and the dog on the couch fighting over who will get analy penetrated first. I smiled this is a good night. even though the night was coming to an end, there was still much unrealised fun to be had. i sat down on the porch, not wanting to get caught in the middle of my dads and the dogs fight. i sat there thinking about the panda, and before i knew it, my cock was rock hard so i pulled it out and slowly started caressing it. i layed on my back with my ass up in the air masturbating and eventually came all over my face. just as i blew my hot load, two male jehova's witnesses came up to the door and eyed me. i stood up quickly with my pants still down and cum dripping down my face. one asked me if i would like to convert, but before i could respond, the other one pulled out his massive cock and started jerking off. the first guy looked disgusted and started to say something, but then the other started beating him senseless with his humongous cock. i stared in awe as the dude was getting the shit beat outta him. i quickly jumped in with my cock flailing wildly and started beating the guy as well. eventually the guy fell down and we curbed him. i looked at his dead body and couldnt look away from his ass. so i stripped his dead body down and mounted him. all of a sudden i felt anal penetration and looked behind me, the other guy was riding me like a cowboy. as all this was happening, my dad and the dog came outside. my dad mounted the dog, who was mounting the other guy. we went on for hours. all of a sudden a 80 year old woman came walking down the street on a walker. for no apparent reason she flashed us, but, she had a cock. she came over and i started sucking on it. this was a very good night indeed even though it was now early in the morning, and everyone had since left and was asleep in their cozy little beds, i was still wide awake and ready for action. i got out of bed and walked into the kitchin. i searched around for a jar of peanut butter. i finally found one and applied a thick layer to my throbbing cock. i walked over to the dog and stuck my dick in its face. it proceeded to lick and lick until i blew my hot and steamy load all over its face and down its throat. i then applied another layer to my anus and walked over to the dog.. as before, he started to lick.. i was masturbating furiously as the dog licked my asshole clean. i blew my load outside an open window and the dog chased after it. "stupid fucking dog" i thought to myself. out of nowhere my mom walked by with stone phillips tucked in her arms. out of boredom, i tried to suck my own cock, but to no avail. suddenly the dog jumped back in the window with a big strap on attached it. i thought to myself, "this looks promising". i layed on my back and the dog inserted the strap on into my ass, all the while i sucked on his big hairy dog penis.. he blew his load all down my throat and i sucked it all up. the dog then stoop up on his hind legs and started singing respect by arethra franklin. this looked to be an interesting day

10-12-2002, 03:09 PM	#14
Affect Fuck Location: xxx Posts: 5,360	BREAK WALLS APART WITH YOUR BIG COCK! 21022

10-12-2002, 04:18 PM	#17
jenn Minion of Satan Location: new york Posts: 6,325	this thread =

10-12-2002, 06:41 PM	#18
Mr. Godfuck Pledge Posts: 190	(In the melody of row, row, row your boat).... Fuck fuck fuck a duck, Screw a kangaroo, Finger-bang an orangutang, An orgy at the zoo!

10-12-2002, 07:35 PM	#19
melancholymystic Pledge Location: Canada Posts: 70

10-13-2002, 12:41 AM	#20
Skye Demi-God Location: Thetford Mines, Quebec Posts: 379	"Certainly, this might seem to be violence, but it is love, catlove." gasp

10-17-2002, 06:16 PM	#21
noir cat Socialphobic Location: Hicksville, NY Posts: 11,699	I must get around to reading the rest of this when I get home... Shannon: Have you ever seen this episode of "King of the Hill" where Hank Hill gets raped by a dolphin? Or, actually, just molested... one of those. :Thumbsup:. : )

10-17-2002, 09:15 PM	#22
noir cat Socialphobic Location: Hicksville, NY Posts: 11,699	Chris's writing brings a tear to my eye. : )

10-17-2002, 10:48 PM	#23
noir cat Socialphobic Location: Hicksville, NY Posts: 11,699	Hey. This is a good thread. SHAN. Thnx for the dolphin link. :x

10-22-2002, 11:44 PM	#26
Cactuar Apocalyptic Poster Location: ur pants lol Posts: 2,915	CHRIS WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IF YOU WROTE IT YOU ARE MY GOD

10-23-2002, 02:06 AM	#28
Squashing Pineapples Banned Location: I'm outta here! Posts: 2,774	http://dbhs.wvusd.k12.ca.us/Humor/cat-carrier.jpg

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