Fuzzyroes pissing on Gamecubes IN HELL

[Joey Goldberg]

i c

[Joey Goldberg]

well, who hasn't pissed on one of those?

[FoolofaTook]

You're next, btw, Slunken.

[Joey Goldberg]

Ouch.

[Shallowed]

The real game cubes were the friends we pissed on along the way

[ilikeplanets]

Hmm. This situation is not as ugly as I expected. Now what.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Joey Goldberg

So, anyone care to share the origin of this "pissing on Gamecubes" story?

http://forums.netphoria.org/showthre...be#post4287986

[reprise85]

although this was his most disturbing story I think: http://forums.netphoria.org/showpost...postcount=3903

Fuck, I had a weird night last night.

I was pretty drunk and I headed downtown to go out to the Limblifter concert and I bought a mickey while I was already drunk to mix with some soda to drink on the bus. I remember getting off the bus to go walk to this other bus stop down the road... And I guess I'm drinking... Next thing I recall some guy with a shaved head dressed in normal clothes is leading me outta some tiny little holding cell while some younger lady approached me with my hoodie saying: "Here you go, fresh out of the dryer for you".

I'm literally having no idea what's going on. It was this weird place with a long hall way and all these adjacent rooms with one room in the middle with a desk at the end of it.

I had originally assumed that I was arrested and thrown in the drunk-tank, So i just wanted to get the fuck outta there. The shaved head guys like "are you sure your good to go? Your shorts are soaking wet". I assumed I just pissed my self so I was like "yeah man, i'm totally fine, thanks". And he was leading me to the door and the ladies like good bye Matthew.

The really odd thing about all of this was was that it wasn't a government looking place, they weren't cops cause they weren't in uniform and I had my shoes on in the cell, and I doubt if I was in a drunk tank the cops would put my hoodie in the dryer.

As I left I was in some area that I wasn't familiar with at all and it was in some sorta industrial area.

I have no idea how I was in there, or why some random people would have picked me up if I was passed out somewhere.

It was really fucking weird, and I'm still confused about it.

[Zer0 Hour]

Ooohhh I haven't been here in a while. So our resident Alex Jones cultist finally got shitcanned? Good riddance.

[Disco King]

Government agents picked him up and brought him to a blacksite where they microchipped him and erased his memory because he knew too much.

[reprise85]

man reading my posts from 5 years ago in that thread, damn things have changed. and i was doing good back then, i thought

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by reprise85

although this was his most disturbing story I think: http://forums.netphoria.org/showpost...postcount=3903

somehow I missed this at the time but thank you for giving me one last horrifying hilarious wtf from this guy

[Joey Goldberg]

Originally Posted by reprise85

http://forums.netphoria.org/showthre...be#post4287986

it's everything I hoped it'd be & more, thank you

[Joey Goldberg]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

somehow I missed this at the time but thank you for giving me one last horrifying hilarious wtf from this guy

i love how there was no actual resolution or answers to that story, just an unraveling of "i may or may not have pissed my pants & ventured off with some skinheads into their jail-esque cult house one night"

r.i.p. to a true modern storyteller

[smashingjj]

Originally Posted by Joey Goldberg

it's everything I hoped it'd be & more, thank you

and ever so typically, he went in full defensive mode when people were like wtf

YOU GUYS THIS IS NORMAL DRUNK PEOPLE URINATE EVERYWHERE IT'S PERFECTLY HEALTHY

[smashingjj]

in christianity and Buddhism, drunk urinating is encouraged. Especially on electronic household appliances

[MplsTaper]

edit: Please note that I did not watch more than 15 seconds of this.

[FoolofaTook]

ur dad is a limblifter

[MplsTaper]

[ilikeplanets]

Originally Posted by reprise85

man reading my posts from 5 years ago in that thread, damn things have changed. and i was doing good back then, i thought

I'm so relieved that I'm lucid in those threads. I had just started changing things around that time. I always brace myself before clicking anything from the archive.

[Joey Goldberg]

all i know from all this is that fuzzy rose's theme song was for sure Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy"

[Joey Goldberg]

tho he prob wishes/believes it was The Sweater Song or something

[ilikeplanets]

I just missed the send off boat, but I suppose it's just as well. There are more than a few irredeemable things he's said recently that soured any positive interactions.

[Joey Goldberg]

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

I just missed the send off boat, but I suppose it's just as well. There are more than a few irredeemable things he's said recently that soured any positive interactions.

if you're still feeling bad about it later, just buy a ticket to one of those cruises with Gin Blossoms or Smash Mouth on it, he'll almost assuredly be there

[LaBelle]

Or just read youtube comments for a minute or two and it'll be like he never left.

[Joey Goldberg]

even YouTube comments don't delve into game-system-pissing territory

well, very rarely

more rarely than our departed fuzzman, at least...

[Disco King]

My city has this volunteer service that picks up at-risk people and gives them a place to stay for the night. Could be homeless people on cold nights, inebriated people, etc. It's especially nice, because the homeless shelters don't let inebriated people in.

Last time I called them to help this homeless man who was stumbling around in, like, minus thirty frostbite-inducing weather. He was so out of it he didn't know which direction his camp was. And he was a bit combatative at first, but once he realized we were only trying to help and weren't trying to throw him in jail or anything, he was cooperative.

The volunteer service also doesn't, like, confiscate his booze or anything, which I think is important for keeping a friendly relationship with people in that situation so that they are more likely to accept the help.

So, I'm guessing that a similar volunteer service might have given Fuzzball a place to stay for the night, which explains why it wasn't a prison or a hospital and why he wouldn't recognize the place.

That, or he got probed at a secret government blacksite. It's a toss-up, really.

[FlamingGlobes]

Gives a whole new meaning to deep state.

[FoolofaTook]

[Joey Goldberg]

sorry, i'm new here, so i have to ask: who is that dashing man you keep posting gifs of? I feel like I've seen him before, & his name is on just the tip of my tongue, but all I know for sure is that he has captivated my mind, heart, and well, perhaps a couple other parts of the anatomy i won't list here, hahaha!