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Old 11-23-2018, 09:19 PM   #3391
Elphenor
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NO SEX THIS WEEKEND

WE BOTH HAVE TO WORK

 
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Old 11-23-2018, 11:22 PM   #3392
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I've had sex with no "end result" because condoms suckkkkk
I've always found this claim to be suspect. Are you sure you aren't using the wrong size condom or something? I guess it just varies person to person, but I have never had a problem

 
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Old 11-23-2018, 11:49 PM   #3393
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I hate them, too. They are never not noticeable. Especially the "hot and cold" ones. Oh god.

 
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Old 11-23-2018, 11:51 PM   #3394
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That being said, it is a 100% requirement for me unless I somehow meet a Mr. Right and expand my family. Otherwise, sexy plans are canned. I'm afraid of hormonal birth control so rubbers are the only choice because guys lie about having had vasectomies just like the ladies lie about being on the pill.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:18 AM   #3395
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I tried one of those sorts meant to delay the man to increase the likelihood of satisfying the woman, and it felt like wearing a ceramic coffee mug.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:25 AM   #3396
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The research I've done indicates that women get off easier when there is more foreplay and that subsequent orgasms are easier once one has been achieved. So, my plan has tended to be to take things very slowly, tease, and engage in digital and oral stimulation before progressing to intercourse, but the few times I've tried this (not like I've had many opportunities), the woman actually didn't want foreplay or to be gone down on, and just wanted to go straight to intercourse. So, my one "ace in the hole" was torpedoed, and everything sucked.

One woman was Quebecois, and I asked when she insisted we just go to intercourse, I asked if she usually does any foreplay first. She was like "what's that? Do you mean preliminaries?" or something to that effect. I have no idea if "preliminaries" is the French word for foreplay, so I was like "uh, I think so, maybe, I guess?" I kept on asking her to provide feedback on what she liked and asked her if what I was doing felt good, and asked her if it was okay to do X prior to doing it, and she just answered to everything with "yes," even though I could tell her gasping and moaning was totally faked. I mean, she even checked her phone a couple times during it.

The whole thing was terrible and my life is also terrible and I hope it ends soon.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:27 AM   #3397
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the research I've done indicates

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:30 AM   #3398
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Hmm, I was expecting a "I don't feel the chemistry" message from that girl I took out last week, but it's looking like she'll probably just ghost me instead. I don't know why I entertained the idea that I'm significant enough to warrant a message. I guess I just thought that the fact that I met her through mutual friends rather than through a cold approach would obligate her not to ignore me due to the high likelihood that we will encounter each other again. I guess not.

The worst thing is that Snapchat has read receipts, so I can see that she read the messages. I hate that shit, I'd rather just do text and not have to deal with the shitty feeling of seeing the "read/opened" tag with no response.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:32 AM   #3399
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The worst thing is that when we do encounter each other, she's going to smile and say something like "it's great to see you!" as if anybody would actually be happy to see somebody they have purposefully ignored. And I'll just smile and say "you too!" in order to not look salty. We'll exchange pleasantries, maybe ask how things are going, and then go on with our days.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:35 AM   #3400
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I still have three more years of this shit to go, so that at least when I finally give up, nobody can seriously tell me "oH BuT sOMEthInG wIlL hApPEn evENtUalLy, dOn'T GIve uP."

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:44 AM   #3401
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Originally Posted by Disco King View Post
I tried one of those sorts meant to delay the man to increase the likelihood of satisfying the woman, and it felt like wearing a ceramic coffee mug.
since you share my anxiety over dumb stuff problem

do you dislike buying condoms like I do

especially since last time I could hardly make it up to the counter before some dude in line is wanting to high five me OH YEAH MAN GET IT IN

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:50 AM   #3402
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we're gonna make this happen
we're gonna ride the rainbow

we're gonna fly forever

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:57 AM   #3403
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since you share my anxiety over dumb stuff problem

do you dislike buying condoms like I do

especially since last time I could hardly make it up to the counter before some dude in line is wanting to high five me OH YEAH MAN GET IT IN
People seriously act that way? Yikes. Too bad I don't get a whole cheerleading section for buying tampons. Fwiw, I have no problems buying condoms but I also have very little anxiety over dumb stuff, so

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:01 AM   #3404
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I can't look cashiers in the eye when buying contraception.

I mean, I usually can't look people in the eye anyway, but even worse when getting rubbers.

Also, when it's a female cashier, I feel like having them ring through items of a sexual nature means I'm harassing them and making their workplace a hostile environment, and I feel bad about it.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:03 AM   #3405
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here hold this box of things I'm going to wrap around my dong

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:04 AM   #3406
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DK, I want to give you a hug. I wish you didn't have to feel that way, because I've been a female cashier and known many, and none of us have ever given a shit. We might look twice when someone buys an extra large size, though.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:06 AM   #3407
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here hold this box of things I'm going to wrap around my dong
it's no worse than touching an unopened box of hemorrhoid cream or adult diapers. i'm more troubled at scanning cold/flu medicine cuz then they're sick and i don't want to touch their money.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:08 AM   #3408
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I mean I'd be a bit embarrassed to buy hemorrhoid cream too

but with the roles reversed, I never thought twice about it when I was a cashier

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:10 AM   #3409
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there's so many things to overthink, it's a shame you can't choose something productive!

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:14 AM   #3410
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I still have three more years of this shit to go, so that at least when I finally give up, nobody can seriously tell me "oH BuT sOMEthInG wIlL hApPEn evENtUalLy, dOn'T GIve uP."
just curious, is there some specific age when you're supposed to give up? i know people well into their midlife that find great long term partners. and i'm more than 3 years older than you and just about to sign divorce papers (meaning i'll be free to try again) so don't go saying things like that

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:50 AM   #3411
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Not that there's a specific age where one necessarily has to give up, but I've just found that my constant failure (not just in relationships, but in life in general) and the lack of joy I derive in life hasn't really facilitated me enjoying living all that much. But just so I can say I actually tried and wasn't some loser who gave up after a few months of things not going his way, I kind of promised myself that I have to wait at least three years before deciding to call it quits and just kick the bucket, if I ever actually have the fortitude to do that (would be hard, because I don't want to cause pain to my family, but it's also hard to live entirely for the benefit of other people's feelings).

There's nothing really special about the three-year number. I think it's more of a wry aesthetic choice because I will be 27 in three years time. I was born on the 27th of June, so it will be my "champaign birthday." I guess there's the whole mystique surrounding the "27 club," not that I romanticize dying young or have any pretensions of identifying with dead rock stars. I'm a big Batman fan, and Batman first debuted in Detective Comics #27. I don't believe in any real significance of certain numbers or numerals, it's really just arbitrary. And since I started making a more concerted effort to put myself out there and improve my life about two years ago, three more years will make that five years in total, and I feel that is enough time to say that I gave things an honest try and can reasonably judge that things won't get better.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:53 AM   #3412
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Well, I definitely hope they do improve, not like those words mean much...but it's still a truthful sentiment

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 05:14 AM   #3413
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tldr

Last edited by vixnix : 11-25-2018 at 08:58 PM.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 06:21 AM   #3414
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Eat sack.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 08:18 AM   #3415
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:17 PM   #3416
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here hold this box of things I'm going to wrap around my dong
You guys ever heard of self-checkout? It's how I buy all my lube, sans shame.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:38 PM   #3417
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1 tub industrial strenthg petroleum jelly
12x bags smart choice brand bite size imitation chocolate substitute (50% off b/c Halloweens over)
1 spider costume w/eight pokey/hairy legs (adult size) (after-halloween savings)
The Holy Bible (large font version) (illustrated: your fave scenes from the Old Testament)
1 pack of wicked sizzler brand novelty condom

i like to ask the cashier “bet you can’t guess what i’m doing tonite”

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:30 PM   #3418
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I lost my virginity at 18 with my girlfriend who I had been dating for 9 months, and I was so anxious/embarassed about buying condoms that she had to do it. My parents were gone one afternoon and she came over and I insisted on reading all the text on the box and the entire fold-out instruction sheet before we started.

I remember being kind of nervous after that as well, but I think what really made me uncomfortable was the idea that my identity now included being an adult having sex, and I had to go own that in public at CVS. It was more about me feeling anxious about growing up than about literally being embarassed by buying condoms. Anyway I learned to stop being uptight and conservative about sex soon after that and fortunately lost most attachment of shame to sex.

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 02:46 PM   #3419
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Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
I agree with this so much. Bad sex is very disillusioning, especially in repeated doses. I don't believe it has everything to do with monogamy, either. Yes monogamy (or consistent partners in polyamory) gives those involved time to figure out what works best, but some people are just good at sex, or are having good days. And some definitely aren't.
There is something to be said for different people liking different things. Sometimes if someone is a bad kisser or is bad at sex, I wonder if maybe I just have a different preference than them... but then I also wonder if it's the result of no one correcting them if their technique is not good? Or if it's that some people are inherently less attuned to the physical and emotional responses in others?

 
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Old 11-24-2018, 03:03 PM   #3420
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Originally Posted by Disco King View Post
I can't look cashiers in the eye when buying contraception.

I mean, I usually can't look people in the eye anyway, but even worse when getting rubbers.

Also, when it's a female cashier, I feel like having them ring through items of a sexual nature means I'm harassing them and making their workplace a hostile environment, and I feel bad about it.
you'll outgrow this, dude

 
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