The Official Fri/Sat/Sun/Mon/Tue drunk/drugs/sad sex thread

[FoolofaTook]

yeah, those were the days huh

[bright_doom]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

out of circumstance or choice?

A little from column A and a little from column B.

[FlamingGlobes]

I fell asleep on my couch last night watching vintage Alice in Chains live footage on YouTube.

This is the closest I believe I will ever get to passing out with a needle in my arm.

[pavementtune]

can we in.clude passing out paralyzed-by-food to the drunk/drugs category?

because I am really slaying it in that department.
this morning I found the remains of the muffin I had apparently not finished eating under my pillow, and a look in the bathroom mirror revealed the traces of chocolate chips in my eyebrows.

10 years ago I wondered if I'd eventually sign out by choking on vomit in my sleep, now I know I will sign out by choking on food.

[FlamingGlobes]

Gagging on a muffin ain't nuffin; call me when you eat a bagel and sneeze cream cheese.

[ilikeplanets]

my family and i are having a little "cultural" get together in honor of my daughter, and my dad bought this craptastic looking bottle of wine. my mom said it's probably horrible and we shouldn't serve that to people. so, i nobly decided to screen it and wound up pouring the glass and the whole bottle down the sink. so bad. i'll buy something better today.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

my family and i are having a little "cultural" get together in honor of my daughter, and my dad bought this craptastic looking bottle of wine. my mom said it's probably horrible and we shouldn't serve that to people. so, i nobly decided to screen it and wound up pouring the glass and the whole bottle down the sink. so bad. i'll buy something better today.

was it like a four dollar bottle of wine? was it a box of franzia?

[FlamingGlobes]

Shit, now what's the little one gonna drink?!

[ilikeplanets]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

was it like a four dollar bottle of wine? was it a box of franzia?

it wasn't franzia, but he very pointedly didn't show me the receipt so i'm guessing it was probably no more than $4, yeah

i don't even remember the brand (it had the word "wine" in it), but i couldn't find any reviews of it online, which means not a lot of people are buying it.

[ilikeplanets]

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes

Shit, now what's the little one gonna drink?!

her god damn apple juice if she knows what's good for her!! it doesn't belong on the floor!!!

[yo soy el mejor]

i was eating lunch with a girl at work and she was all like 'you have food on your forehead'. i felt a heatwave of embarrassment, but it went away when i said 'how did it get there? that's not even anywhere near my mouth.'

i have one beer in the fridge

[Ram27]

Aldi has like $3 wine that's pretty good

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

i was eating lunch with a girl at work and she was all like 'you have food on your forehead'. i felt a heatwave of embarrassment, but it went away when i said 'how did it get there? that's not even anywhere near my mouth.'

i have one beer in the fridge

I just would have obstinately denied that there was any food on my forehead and continued with the conversation.

Never lose your frame of the situation. Never show weakness.

[Ram27]

ahh my bandmates are so fucking obnoxious

both guitarists act like they're on coke all the time and give me 9 minute john mayer live tracks to learn for a gig. "no no start the cymbal swell on this particular wanky riff 7:34 into it, not the one 8:00 into it"

just because i've played along to the 35 minute MCIS silverfuck a few times doesn't mean I'd force another person to learn it...goddammit the 'she was a fucking whore' buildup starts after the first grungy tom riff!

i wanna quit but they're great guitarists. hopefully we'll actually write stuff

[Ram27]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

i was eating lunch with a girl at work and she was all like 'you have food on your forehead'. i felt a heatwave of embarrassment, but it went away when i said 'how did it get there? that's not even anywhere near my mouth.'

i have one beer in the fridge

h...how did it get there

this would only make sense with spaghetti

[buzzard]

It's not that weird in certain gravitational environments. I mean, the lap is surely farther from the mouth than the forehead.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

i have one beer in the fridge

Originally Posted by Ram27

h...how did it get there

this would only make sense with spaghetti

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

i have one spaghetti in the fridge

Originally Posted by Ram27

makes sense

.

[myosis]

[ilikeplanets]

food does not abide by the laws of physics. i speak from experience.

[teh b0lly!!1]

hi saddo thread

i'm sad and angry for no particular reason

[FlamingGlobes]

Hi saddo b0lly,

Have a seat, tell us more.

[vixnix]

I feel the same way. Well...actually I feel sad and angry because the first two hours of my life, every day, are spent cooking and cleaning for my ungrateful family.

It's depressing thinking about how productive I could be with that time - I'm actually pretty productive, I'm just producing nothing but hot food and clean dishes.

So fucking depressing. I come into this office afterwards with my coffee, to write, and then I just sit here and seethe and look at Facebook for two hours.

[reprise85]

at least we aren't all subsistence farmers relying on working from sunup to sundown every day so we have some fucking wheat

[buzzard]

You could always write a fantasy novel about inexplicably surviving a gas leak that frees you of this burdensome lifestyle.

A woman finds redemption in independence after her entire family's put on ice by a dodgy valve in the hot water cylinder. Can she forgive the engineer for his substandard cashie and, in the process, learn to love again?

[vixnix]

i think that may be about ten times more creative than anything I've written in the last year

eeeeeuuuggghgh so much fuckin bullshit

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by reprise85

at least we aren't all subsistence farmers relying on working from sunup to sundown every day so we have some fucking wheat

I mean, this would almost be better, because at least we'd all be in the same situation, and we'd be lean and fit enough to enjoy fun pursuits when we weren't working, like capture the flag. All I can capture at the moment is oreos

But I get what you're saying. gratitude is good.

[slunken]

Originally Posted by vixnix

I mean, this would almost be better, because at least we'd all be in the same situation, and we'd be lean and fit enough to enjoy fun pursuits when we weren't working, like capture the flag.

Speak for yourself and/or get a job.

[vixnix]

I mean, I was speaking generally about our species. With the high rates of obesity and depression in the developed world, it kinda seems like many of us would actually be healthier and happier as subsistence farmers in the countryside than we are as modern day city dwellers.

Like, if you measured mood and physical health indicators etc.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by vixnix

I mean, this would almost be better, because at least we'd all be in the same situation, and we'd be lean and fit enough to enjoy fun pursuits when we weren't working, like capture the flag. All I can capture at the moment is oreos

But I get what you're saying. gratitude is good.

not sure where this free time would come from, especially with enough light to play capture the flag

Originally Posted by vixnix

I mean, I was speaking generally about our species. With the high rates of obesity and depression in the developed world, it kinda seems like many of us would actually be healthier and happier as subsistence farmers in the countryside than we are as modern day city dwellers.

Like, if you measured mood and physical health indicators etc.

this is true but we wouldn't have all the cultural productions that are important if you value certain things. you need to be able to not have to literally work for your own food. which are important to our happiness as well, but also our unhappiness so whatever

[Ram27]

if billy corgan had to farm all day we wouldn't have this forum

but then again i'd probably/maybe be happier harvesting wheat and earning an honest living than pretending to go to school