read my cover letter

T.G. Clown · 07-18-2003, 03:46 PM

To Whom It May Concern:

In May of this year I graduated from University at Albany with a bachelor's degree in Art History and English. I read of your opening for a Library Assistant for Administration at the Frick Art Reference Library on the museum's web site. I am interested and excited in the possibilities offered by this position and am writing to explore the opportunity for employment with the Frick Collection.

The advertisement indicated that you were looking for someone with skill and interest. I believe my resume outlines a work and education history that you will find relevant. As an Art History and English major I am naturally enthusiastic about the arts and the library. My two major independent studies have thought me the functions of the reference library, the Internet, and on-line research systems. My volunteer work at the Westchester Arts Council and the United Hospital has given me knowledge in basic clerical duties in a professional environment. My job as a waiter at a busy restaurant thought me how to listen, communicate, and work under pressure.

I am highly organized, detail orientated, and productive. I am also able to work independently and as a team. My love for the library and museum would make me a good candidate for a Library Assistant. My salary requirements match any entry positions. I would like to meet you to discuss how my education and experience would be consistent with your needs. I will visit and stay in close contact with the Frick Collection. In the meantime, if you have any questions or require additional information, please contact me at my home phone number listed above.

Sincerely,

T.G. Clown

Enclosure

ammy · 07-18-2003, 03:47 PM

FRICK!

*giggles*

T.G. Clown · 07-18-2003, 03:48 PM

heheheh

i know

severin · 07-18-2003, 03:49 PM

mhm, is it common in the u.s. to star letters with "to whom it may concern" ? for me this phrase sounds to much like "yeah, whatever"....otherwise: i like it

T.G. Clown · 07-18-2003, 03:50 PM

should i take out "to whom iot may concern"?
or should i call to find out the name of the employer?

severin · 07-18-2003, 03:53 PM

i normally start letters without a specific recipient with "dear ladies and gentlemen", or with no greeting at all, depending on the kind of letter. but i don't really know if there is a quasi-standard for such things in the us. those things tend to differ from country to country

T.G. Clown · 07-18-2003, 03:57 PM

ooooh i found her name!

Dana Winfield
Manager of Human Resources

bonsor · 07-18-2003, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by T.G. Clown
ooooh i found her name!

Dana Winfield
Manager of Human Resources

then use that. otherwise, it IS considered proper form to use 'to whom it may concern'.

Liquid-J · 07-18-2003, 04:09 PM

you can be a little more assertive if you like. for example, don't say 'i believe my resume outlines a work and education history that you will find relevant.' you can change it to something along the lines of 'Allow me to briefly highlight a few examples where i've demonstrated the skills that will enable me to excel in this position'

you want to confidently show how you will contribute and add value, and do it with enthusiam.

don't say you're a 'good' candidate, say great, excellent, outstanding, or superior

as for the waiter position (sometimes 'server' sounds a little more professional, but that's just nitpicking), you should highlight customer service skills that you developed there. you may even want to tell a short, illustrative anecdote that gives an example of how you will be great for this job. (personality, patience, respect, etc.) you also learned to multi-task in that position.

often people just don't mention salary requirements in the cover letter, even if its asked for, because it doesn't do you any good. you are writing to get their interest, and that discussion will come up if they're interested.

another angle you might want to play up a little bit is your involvement/participation/knowledge of this place. if you are familiar with the place and visit frequently, mention it. this is a useful thing to them. perhaps you can even suggest a project you'd like to work on, something that may need improving there. who knows, it may be something they know needs work and they'll be really impressed not only that you noticed it, but that you show the initiative and thought to suggest that you can help with it.

as far as the 'to whom it concerns', your best bet is to acquire the name of the person. you can do that by having a friend call and ask about the employment opportunity for example.

most of this advice is based on my experience with high-pressure professional jobs where minutae of your first contact with this place can make or break you... this place is probably more relaxed than that, but it doesn't hurt to have a potent, well constructed letter that grabs their attention and demonstrates that you are the person they need.

Liquid-J · 07-18-2003, 04:20 PM

oh, are you going to sign it T.G. Clown?

T.G. Clown · 07-18-2003, 04:21 PM

L-J
thanks! I am making changes now!

i really really want this job!!!!!!!!!!

Liquid-J · 07-18-2003, 04:23 PM

yeah, spend time with it, its worth making the effort to make it as good as you can get it. post your revisions whenever you're done, and goodluck!

Liquid-J · 07-18-2003, 04:45 PM

oh yeah, second paragraph typo: thought = taught? and how about familiarity with research databases like lexusnexus and stuff like that? give a little detail of some research/library skills you've deveoped from being in school, even if they seem kind of basic, its important for a library job to demonstrate you know your way around the library.

T.G. Clown · 01:29 AM

1 Netphoria Dr.
Internet, NY 12345
(555)555-5555
July 21, 2003

Dana Winfield
Manager of Human Resources
The Frick Collection and Frick Art Reference Library
1 East 70th Street
New York, NY 10021

Dear Ms. Winfield:

In May of this year I graduated from University at Albany with a bachelor's degree in Art History and English. I read of your opening for a Library Assistant for Administration at the Frick Art Reference Library on the museum's web site. I am interested and excited in the possibilities offered by this position and am writing to explore the opportunity for employment with the Frick Collection.

The advertisement indicated that you were looking for someone with skill and interest. Allow me to briefly highlight a few examples where i've demonstrated the skills that will enable me to excel in this position. As an Art History and English major I am naturally enthusiastic about the arts and the library. My two major independent studies have taught me the functions of the reference library, the Internet, on-line research database, and journals. My volunteer work at the Westchester Arts Council and the United Hospital has given me knowledge in basic clerical duties in a professional environment. My job as a server at a busy restaurant taught me how to listen, communicate, work under pressure, and perform multi-tasks.

I am highly organized, detail orientated, and productive. I am also able to work independently and as a team. My love for the library and museum would make me an excellent candidate for a Library Assistant. I would like to meet you to discuss how my education and experience would be consistent with your needs. I will visit the library's on-line cataloge, FRESCO, and stay in close contact with the Frick Collection. In the meantime, if you have any questions or require additional information, please contact me at my home phone number listed above.

Sincerely,

T.G. Clown

Enclosure

are there any typos? any stylistic changes?

BlueStar · 07-19-2003, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Liquid-J

as far as the 'to whom it concerns', your best bet is to acquire the name of the person. you can do that by having a friend call and ask about the employment opportunity for example.

Dear Ms. or Mr. last name

or if you don't know the name of the person use Dear Sir or Madam

and bulleted lists are better than paragraghs. Take some of your paragraphs and make them easier on the eye. Such as...

Some of the experiences I can bring to this position are:
- blah
- blah
- blah
- blah

or...

- __________ (i.e. communications, research, writing, etc.) experience: Then 1-3 sentences describing this specific area of experience.
- __________ experience: Blah, blah, blah.
- __________ experience: Blah, blah, blah.
- __________ experience: Blah, blah, blah.

DeadSwan · 07-20-2003, 09:55 PM

good luck with the frick. hook me up if i can't find something in a month, k dude?

i might be staying at paper magazine, who knows, but a museum would be lovely, too. have you tried with any galleries?

sppunk · 07-20-2003, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by T.G. Clown

museum's web site.

museum's Web site.

scouse_dave · 07-20-2003, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by T.G. Clown
I am also able to work independently and as a team

you're able to work as a team? hmm...that needs changing

'as part of a team'
'within a team structure' etc

Nimrod's Son · 07-20-2003, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by T.G. Clown
ooooh i found her name!

Dana Winfield
Manager of Human Resources

Dave Winfield was a great baseball player.

Blank · 07-20-2003, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueStar

Dear Ms. or Mr. last name

or if you don't know the name of the person use Dear Sir or Madam

and bulleted lists are better than paragraghs. Take some of your paragraphs and make them easier on the eye. Such as...

Some of the experiences I can bring to this position are:
- blah
- blah
- blah
- blah

or...

- __________ (i.e. communications, research, writing, etc.) experience: Then 1-3 sentences describing this specific area of experience.
- __________ experience: Blah, blah, blah.
- __________ experience: Blah, blah, blah.
- __________ experience: Blah, blah, blah.

Go with something like this. What you have written is way too boring and will get thrown out if there are plenty of applications. You need to get to the point faster, and shorten things up a lot. First example is, is that she shouldn't give a shit about where you read about the job....that is irrelevant. Shorten it up sonny.

scouse_dave · 07-20-2003, 10:53 PM

i don't think it's 'boring' as such, but it is a bit wordy. the whole point of a covering letter is to get them to read your cv, or at least be interested enough to wanna interview you. if you say everything on your covering letter what the hell are you gonna say in your interview?

no matter tho, i'd give you an interview with that letter...

07-18-2003, 03:46 PM	#1
T.G. Clown Ownz Location: New York Posts: 750	read my cover letter To Whom It May Concern: In May of this year I graduated from University at Albany with a bachelor's degree in Art History and English. I read of your opening for a Library Assistant for Administration at the Frick Art Reference Library on the museum's web site. I am interested and excited in the possibilities offered by this position and am writing to explore the opportunity for employment with the Frick Collection. The advertisement indicated that you were looking for someone with skill and interest. I believe my resume outlines a work and education history that you will find relevant. As an Art History and English major I am naturally enthusiastic about the arts and the library. My two major independent studies have thought me the functions of the reference library, the Internet, and on-line research systems. My volunteer work at the Westchester Arts Council and the United Hospital has given me knowledge in basic clerical duties in a professional environment. My job as a waiter at a busy restaurant thought me how to listen, communicate, and work under pressure. I am highly organized, detail orientated, and productive. I am also able to work independently and as a team. My love for the library and museum would make me a good candidate for a Library Assistant. My salary requirements match any entry positions. I would like to meet you to discuss how my education and experience would be consistent with your needs. I will visit and stay in close contact with the Frick Collection. In the meantime, if you have any questions or require additional information, please contact me at my home phone number listed above. Sincerely, T.G. Clown Enclosure

07-18-2003, 03:49 PM	#4
severin no more than sympathy Location: lying on the floor Posts: 14,826	mhm, is it common in the u.s. to star letters with "to whom it may concern" ? for me this phrase sounds to much like "yeah, whatever"....otherwise: i like it __________________ i once told a To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. that nothing really ends

07-19-2003, 01:11 AM	#14
T.G. Clown Ownz Location: New York Posts: 750	1 Netphoria Dr. Internet, NY 12345 (555)555-5555 July 21, 2003 Dana Winfield Manager of Human Resources The Frick Collection and Frick Art Reference Library 1 East 70th Street New York, NY 10021 Dear Ms. Winfield: In May of this year I graduated from University at Albany with a bachelor's degree in Art History and English. I read of your opening for a Library Assistant for Administration at the Frick Art Reference Library on the museum's web site. I am interested and excited in the possibilities offered by this position and am writing to explore the opportunity for employment with the Frick Collection. The advertisement indicated that you were looking for someone with skill and interest. Allow me to briefly highlight a few examples where i've demonstrated the skills that will enable me to excel in this position. As an Art History and English major I am naturally enthusiastic about the arts and the library. My two major independent studies have taught me the functions of the reference library, the Internet, on-line research database, and journals. My volunteer work at the Westchester Arts Council and the United Hospital has given me knowledge in basic clerical duties in a professional environment. My job as a server at a busy restaurant taught me how to listen, communicate, work under pressure, and perform multi-tasks. I am highly organized, detail orientated, and productive. I am also able to work independently and as a team. My love for the library and museum would make me an excellent candidate for a Library Assistant. I would like to meet you to discuss how my education and experience would be consistent with your needs. I will visit the library's on-line cataloge, FRESCO, and stay in close contact with the Frick Collection. In the meantime, if you have any questions or require additional information, please contact me at my home phone number listed above. Sincerely, T.G. Clown Enclosure are there any typos? any stylistic changes? Last edited by T.G. Clown : 07-19-2003 at 01:29 AM.

07-18-2003, 03:47 PM	#2
ammy yer mom Posts: 23,180	FRICK! giggles

07-18-2003, 03:48 PM	#3
T.G. Clown Ownz Location: New York Posts: 750	heheheh i know

07-18-2003, 03:50 PM	#5
T.G. Clown Ownz Location: New York Posts: 750	should i take out "to whom iot may concern"? or should i call to find out the name of the employer?

07-18-2003, 03:53 PM	#6
severin no more than sympathy Location: lying on the floor Posts: 14,826	i normally start letters without a specific recipient with "dear ladies and gentlemen", or with no greeting at all, depending on the kind of letter. but i don't really know if there is a quasi-standard for such things in the us. those things tend to differ from country to country

07-18-2003, 03:57 PM	#7
T.G. Clown Ownz Location: New York Posts: 750	ooooh i found her name! Dana Winfield Manager of Human Resources

07-18-2003, 04:09 PM	#9
Liquid-J keeping it to a dull roar Location: san francisco, ca Posts: 12,824	you can be a little more assertive if you like. for example, don't say 'i believe my resume outlines a work and education history that you will find relevant.' you can change it to something along the lines of 'Allow me to briefly highlight a few examples where i've demonstrated the skills that will enable me to excel in this position' you want to confidently show how you will contribute and add value, and do it with enthusiam. don't say you're a 'good' candidate, say great, excellent, outstanding, or superior as for the waiter position (sometimes 'server' sounds a little more professional, but that's just nitpicking), you should highlight customer service skills that you developed there. you may even want to tell a short, illustrative anecdote that gives an example of how you will be great for this job. (personality, patience, respect, etc.) you also learned to multi-task in that position. often people just don't mention salary requirements in the cover letter, even if its asked for, because it doesn't do you any good. you are writing to get their interest, and that discussion will come up if they're interested. another angle you might want to play up a little bit is your involvement/participation/knowledge of this place. if you are familiar with the place and visit frequently, mention it. this is a useful thing to them. perhaps you can even suggest a project you'd like to work on, something that may need improving there. who knows, it may be something they know needs work and they'll be really impressed not only that you noticed it, but that you show the initiative and thought to suggest that you can help with it. as far as the 'to whom it concerns', your best bet is to acquire the name of the person. you can do that by having a friend call and ask about the employment opportunity for example. most of this advice is based on my experience with high-pressure professional jobs where minutae of your first contact with this place can make or break you... this place is probably more relaxed than that, but it doesn't hurt to have a potent, well constructed letter that grabs their attention and demonstrates that you are the person they need.

07-18-2003, 04:20 PM	#10
Liquid-J keeping it to a dull roar Location: san francisco, ca Posts: 12,824	oh, are you going to sign it T.G. Clown?

07-18-2003, 04:21 PM	#11
T.G. Clown Ownz Location: New York Posts: 750	L-J thanks! I am making changes now! i really really want this job!!!!!!!!!!

07-18-2003, 04:23 PM	#12
Liquid-J keeping it to a dull roar Location: san francisco, ca Posts: 12,824	yeah, spend time with it, its worth making the effort to make it as good as you can get it. post your revisions whenever you're done, and goodluck!

07-18-2003, 04:45 PM	#13
Liquid-J keeping it to a dull roar Location: san francisco, ca Posts: 12,824	oh yeah, second paragraph typo: thought = taught? and how about familiarity with research databases like lexusnexus and stuff like that? give a little detail of some research/library skills you've deveoped from being in school, even if they seem kind of basic, its important for a library job to demonstrate you know your way around the library.

07-20-2003, 09:55 PM	#16
DeadSwan Socialphobic Location: GAZA STRIP MALL Posts: 10,828	good luck with the frick. hook me up if i can't find something in a month, k dude? i might be staying at paper magazine, who knows, but a museum would be lovely, too. have you tried with any galleries?

07-20-2003, 10:53 PM	#21
scouse_dave Minion of Satan Location: Manchester Posts: 5,089	i don't think it's 'boring' as such, but it is a bit wordy. the whole point of a covering letter is to get them to read your cv, or at least be interested enough to wanna interview you. if you say everything on your covering letter what the hell are you gonna say in your interview? no matter tho, i'd give you an interview with that letter...