Star Wars: Ep. 3 - Attack of the Shit

Ugly · 07-20-2003, 04:22 PM

This is the best Star Wars rumor I've ever read. Ep. I the rumor was over 80% of the footage was "fuzzy and unusable". Ep. II N'Sync were Jedi Knights. And now this for episode III --

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http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=15696

Ladies and gentlemen; may I present the first leak from the set of STAR WARS - EPISODE THREE: BLUESCREEN HARVEST. I'll give to you in the words of AICN-D scooper Wookiepoo: "Well, to be frank it's not a leak so much as a DUMP. That's right, it's a biggie and it'll NEVER make the mainstream media. Someone (or someTHING), has been secretly laying huge, fresh, steamy coils daily on the closed lid of the soundstage toilet. Crew members walk in to discover the death star staring them in the face in the form of a wide-calibre, warm, smokini' turd like a whiffy, not-so-hibernating anaconda(2). Said anonymous dumper can strike at any time and appears to be unisex in nature. Production executives suspect an inside job.

Could it be Chewy? Not the turd, I mean, but its perpetrator. Chewbacca is unique in being practically the only fresh main cast member who wasn't here last time. Maybe he needs to keep the Lid shut coz his long legs just can't get him low enough to the bowl. Memos have gone up on noticeboards all over the lot begging the Phantom Crapper to desist in the name of simple human compassion. Is there something symbolic in the message? Is it a hint as to what we might expect from the film itself? These and other questions will be answered and updated as more news comes to hand."

Based on the emails I traded with Wookiepoo, it sounds like this is genuine, but I probably would have posted it even if it weren't (heehee). (Our subsequent emails quickly degenerated into schoolboy gigglings at the use of phrases like "George Lucas is tight with leaks", "Attack of the Turds!" and "Poop scoop" etc. So sue me.)

07-20-2003, 04:22 PM	#1
Ugly Immortal Location: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed Posts: 21,249	Star Wars: Ep. 3 - Attack of the Shit This is the best Star Wars rumor I've ever read. Ep. I the rumor was over 80% of the footage was "fuzzy and unusable". Ep. II N'Sync were Jedi Knights. And now this for episode III -- ----- http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=15696 Ladies and gentlemen; may I present the first leak from the set of STAR WARS - EPISODE THREE: BLUESCREEN HARVEST. I'll give to you in the words of AICN-D scooper Wookiepoo: "Well, to be frank it's not a leak so much as a DUMP. That's right, it's a biggie and it'll NEVER make the mainstream media. Someone (or someTHING), has been secretly laying huge, fresh, steamy coils daily on the closed lid of the soundstage toilet. Crew members walk in to discover the death star staring them in the face in the form of a wide-calibre, warm, smokini' turd like a whiffy, not-so-hibernating anaconda(2). Said anonymous dumper can strike at any time and appears to be unisex in nature. Production executives suspect an inside job. Could it be Chewy? Not the turd, I mean, but its perpetrator. Chewbacca is unique in being practically the only fresh main cast member who wasn't here last time. Maybe he needs to keep the Lid shut coz his long legs just can't get him low enough to the bowl. Memos have gone up on noticeboards all over the lot begging the Phantom Crapper to desist in the name of simple human compassion. Is there something symbolic in the message? Is it a hint as to what we might expect from the film itself? These and other questions will be answered and updated as more news comes to hand." Based on the emails I traded with Wookiepoo, it sounds like this is genuine, but I probably would have posted it even if it weren't (heehee). (Our subsequent emails quickly degenerated into schoolboy gigglings at the use of phrases like "George Lucas is tight with leaks", "Attack of the Turds!" and "Poop scoop" etc. So sue me.)