Which Middle-Earth character are you?

[buzzard]

Once we've established that Tolkien's mastery of the language exceeds that of Martin's, we've still got plenty of room for insinuations of literary mediocrity.

This discussion is being done wrong.

[Run To Me]

But really how much grey shit can you have in 1 weird book

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by Poots

The fact that Tolkien doesn't follow usual literary conventions is one of the strengths of the book, in my opinion. As to his syntax/dialogue etc., I think it fits the story perfectly. It sounds old, which is the point and style that he is going for. It's a bit dry by modern standards, but it fits the story.

Having Frodo get Sam to suck him off in Mordor or the Fellowship get a bad case of dysentery from the shellfish at Lorien are details best left out of this story. I don't need to know how far Aragorn's cock was rammed up inside Arwen is or how Legolas is an intersex genderqueer.

dude I like his writing too and I understand his style is exactly what he is going for etc. etc. believe me I get it, I have read not just LOTR but all his works a bunch of times. I'm not saying any guy off the street could write as well.

I'm saying he's not comparable to Shakespeare. It's fine to love Bill Nye but he isn't Stephen Hawking, you know?

[reprise85]

I never read LOTR because I could barely get through The Hobbit. Just isn't my thing I guess. My imagination isn't good enough for it to feel magical, or something.

[LaBelle]

I could never finish reading The Return of the King, despite enjoying those books.

The last stretch of that book was a chore, legolas and gimli having pages and pages of bromance, and then one more fight in the shire. Didn't feel necessary at all.

[FoolofaTook]

If you guys want to read Tolkien at his best you should check out the start of the Silmarillion the Aiundale or whatever the fuck its called. That's some lofty prose right there yo.

Also I think The Children of Hurin is a swell tale. Hella tragic.

[duovamp]

This intrigues Gormadoc "Deepdelver" Brandybuck.

[duovamp]

Man I need to update my avatar now that Christmas is over.

[FoolofaTook]

I dunno the pale wintry night elf babes pretty cold yo

[crabshack]

Originally Posted by duovamp

Man I need to update my avatar now that Christmas is over.

show.

don't tell.

haha your wife blah blah

[wHATcOLOR]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

Also ent doesn't mean shit. you motherfuckers are cheating. treebeard or quickbeam yes. ent no.

dude if we wanna be ents, we'll be ents!!! FUCK!!!!

[LaBelle]

Make ents great again.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

Also ent doesn't mean shit. you motherfuckers are cheating. treebeard or quickbeam yes. ent no.

everyone here is hardly even a huorn

[FoolofaTook]

Man the descriptions in the two towers of the huorns when they come down by helms deep are exceedingly eldritch

[FoolofaTook]

And what's with this gormadoc deepdelver shit? You gotta bring anal into my thread bro?

[FoolofaTook]

Gimli was my fav of the company. then i had the misfortune of beholding those peter jackson abominations in which proud gloins son was reduced to a buffoon.

the purity of my imaginative thought has been tarnished evermore. I wish I could set Peter Jacksons beard aflame.

[FoolofaTook]

Also I made note of reprise not finishing the hobbit, labelle not finishing lotr and buzzard complaining of greyness.

i want you to know that i value each and every one of you less.

[LaBelle]

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Don't judge us, Labell.

[buzzard]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

buzzard complaining of greyness.

Did not occur.

[FoolofaTook]

Buzzard or weasel or pavementune

lets not split hairs here

[LaBelle]

You say it like they are interchangeable.

[buzzard]

An Off-Off-Broadway production, I take it?

[LaBelle]

Please bill me as whatever the actors' equivalent to Alan Smithee is.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

Gimli was my fav of the company. then i had the misfortune of beholding those peter jackson abominations in which proud gloins son was reduced to a buffoon.

the purity of my imaginative thought has been tarnished evermore. I wish I could set Peter Jacksons beard aflame.

Gimli and Legolas were definitely altered the most from their characters in the book. hardy Gimli, backbone of the Fellowship, was reduced to C-3P0 level humor (the dwarf tossing jokes, come on, seriously embarrassing to watch) and Legolas was turned into the male equivalent of Liv Tyler's presence in the movies (ostensibly eye candy).

some of the characters were done really well though IMO (Boromir, Saruman, Gandalf, Ian Holm Bilbo). I actually really like 50% of the LOTR movies (Fellowship is honestly solid to me, idgaf) so I can't hate Jackson too much. Although some of what he did, especially with the Hobbit movies is just a fucking shame, there are a lot of cool aspects of his interpretations as well.

seeing Alan Lee's paintings come to life, especially in FOTR when everything was still organic and real looking and not totally CGI is STILL awesome to watch.

[buzzard]

Tourism New Zealand would like to remind all thread participants that a Fellowship-like experience can be arranged through your local travel agent.



I completely fucked the horizon and ruined everything, but isn't this more or less where Rudy almost drowns?

[FoolofaTook]

Yeah I have to admit the world was done pretty well. and i like boromir and aragorn and gandalf and frodo and saruman.. lots of the main actors fit. but the story... bleurgh! (That is a sound of disgust)

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by buzzard

Tourism New Zealand would like to remind all thread participants that a Fellowship-like experience can be arranged through your local travel agent.



I completely fucked the horizon and ruined everything, but isn't this more or less where Rudy almost drowns?

For nerds with too much money and not enough intelligence

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Come see some really cool geology and plant life to totally disregard and trample and act out battles and scenes from a hollywood movie!

[buzzard]

Crowds of tourists haphazardly reenacting battles has not been kind to traffic congestion and some dude dressed as the albino orc they made up for The Hobbit trampled my petunias, but the economy has yet to protest.