Suicide Prevention

gish1991 · 10-17-2002, 02:07 AM

Just wondering since this is a very talkative place and I have a feeling more than one of you hav egone through this . . . What would you guys/gals do if a friend of yours told you that they wanted to kill themselves?

I have absolutely no clue and I had a friend on the phone earlier who is going through some really bad stuff ranging from cancer, money issues, and now a totaled car with little chance of getting insurance for a new one. Not to mention some of the usual parent/child issues, but she called me today crying and saying she might not see me again and started to cut herself with me on the phone listening. I managed to keep her on the line for a while, and it seems like the cuts weren't bad enough to make it permanent, but I can see this happening again in the future. I just dunno if I can handle it again. So, what I am asking is if anyone has gone through this or knows anything about it, what did (would) you do in this situation?

I am desperate here, I don't want to lose a friend. Thanks for listening...

palidor · 10-17-2002, 02:14 AM

Wow. uhm, what age are we talking here?

That's a really difficult situation. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, I have no idea how I would handle it..

sickbadthing · 10-17-2002, 02:16 AM

I was totally distracted by the dancing banana.

gish1991 · 10-17-2002, 02:24 AM

sorry, the banana just show you what kinda personality I really am and now I have to deal with something completely opposite and foreign to me . . . . .

and we are talking the mid-20's age range.

palidor · 10-17-2002, 02:28 AM

I really don't know what to do then. I guess I would try to find some sort of suicide hot-line #, because I'm sure they could point you in the right direction.

Regardless, suicide is NOT something to fuck around with. Imagine how you would feel if she killed herself and you didn't do anything. I would get on that right away if I were you.

Good luck.

sickbadthing · 10-17-2002, 02:30 AM

She needs professional help and if you can convince her of that then try that. If you know she is going to kill herself and she's serious, call the cops. It's not going to make her life any better but it may keep her from being dead.

cozmic · 10-17-2002, 03:30 AM

Call me heartless, but it pisses me off when people say things like that. Honestly, I haven't heard of many cases in which people who really committed suicide told people they were going to do it beforehand. I mean, in order to tell someone you are going to kill yourself, you have to really want them to feel sorry for you. Why else would you tell them? I think it's selfish and pathetic. It's difficult for me to pity people like that. People that tell you things like that are looking for a power trip. They want to force you to a point of desperation.

In my opinion, suicide is a cheap escape from life's tribulations. It's like cutting in line.

I went through this with a friend in high school. On several occasions, we would be talking through AIM and he would say things like "I just want to end it all." To which I would reply with the obligatory, "Chad, don't talk like that. I really care about you... blah blah blah blah." It was useless. Because he would just say things like "Never mind. What do you care?" It went on and on and on. I always wonder how he would have responded if I had told him to go ahead and do it. But then if he really had killed himself, wouldn't I feel like shit?

I'm not saying your friend doesn't have issues. Obviously she does. But it is wrong of her to make those problems become yours. Why tell a friend you're thinking about suicide? I still don't get it. It almost seems egotistic.

Since she has put you in this awkward position... you obviously feel the need to do something to prevent her possible death. I'm sure she knows this too. So instead of alerting someone she is close to, like a parent (since there are obviously issues there), I would visit http://www.hopeline.com or call 1-800-SUICIDE and ask how you can directly get her professional help. She needs to learn how to cope. Then if she's not willing to accept help... that's not your problem. I have found that spoken reassurance is absolutely useless. There's really nothing more you can do... other than hire someone to watch her 24/7. (That could become quite expensive.)

Apart · 10-17-2002, 08:00 AM

haha. cozmic has to be the dumbest piece of shit on the boards! REAL smart babble right there!

yeah, suicide hotlines REALLY work. a friend of mine called a few of them a couple years back, and get this..they actually hung up on him because "he didnt know what he wanted". lmfao!! yea, they REALLY give a shit! so go ahead, call them. they know oh so much about your friends and their problems!

Crono · 10-17-2002, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cozmic

of course they're looking for attention. The person is incredibly depressed. Any kind of positive attitudes toward their life, no matter how they respond, helps them. If you feed them negative feelings then they feel justified and feed upon their pain. They're looking for justification for how they're feeling or an argument for why everything sucks and will be better.

KrazeeStacee · 10-17-2002, 11:28 AM

Show them as much love and positive attitude as you can, try to get them to get help. If all else fails, like whoever said...call the cops. At least they won't be dead that way.

My mom told my alcoholic dad she wanted a divorce several years ago, he got drunk and slit his whole arm open. When the ambulance finally came, he was in the bathroom with the door locked screaming about how he wanted to die, they busted the door down and when he resisted being taken, the one girl punched him and knocked him out, then they dragged him into the ambulance...haha, sorry...so basically, you gotta do whatever it takes.

Apart · 10-17-2002, 03:35 PM

haha. right on phorians. cozmic is obviously a severely fucked over cunt who doesnt understand jack shit about anything!

then again, who didnt know this from the start? lmao. what an ugly ignorant cunt. hehe...

Undone · 10-17-2002, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by killtheyouth

you're obviously completely ignorant of the suicidal mind. not only that, but it's retarded to suggest that suicidal people not tell anyone. do you have any idea how many suicidal people HAVE told someone and gotten help? the actual percentage of suicidal people that make a real attempt isnt that high, and the success rate of attempts isnt that high. so maybe they should just ALL shut up and off themselves? i bet some of your friends have gotten help by telling someone and you dont even know it.

go take a psych course.

What he said.

But back to the original poster. You can tell your friend that you'll listen to her and always be her friend, but she has to make a conscious effort to stop being manipulative as that is unfair and unhelpful to both of you. I don't know how suicide hotlines work, though I wouldn't trust them too much-- It would be nice if you could find someone on there that is a decent person and knows what to do instead of it being a totally random person who is pretending to listen but blowing her boyfriend at the same time as being on the phone.

Undone · 10-17-2002, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Apart
haha. right on phorians. cozmic is obviously a severely fucked over cunt who doesnt understand jack shit about anything!

then again, who didnt know this from the start? lmao. what an ugly ignorant cunt. hehe...

Everyone makes assumptions every day about things they don't understand, oftentimes false ones. It doesn't mean she's a stupid cunt--unless she refuses to learn of course.

Apart · 10-17-2002, 03:43 PM

undone, ladies and gentlemen. coming to the defense of fucking morons, and she loves to do...being a fucking moron herself..of course. lets have a round of applause for the ignorant ugly cunt!
and watch and she dazzles us with more vital information!

mirrar · 10-17-2002, 03:50 PM

I work at a suicide prevention hotline, and I can say that we've got the odd horrible worker there who wouldn't help her at all, but the screening process is pretty intensive and so is the training so the majority tend to be pretty good. If you were to call one for her, the main thing they'd try and do for you would be to provide "care to the caregiver" and help you try and get some of your feelings off your chest so they're not as much of a burden on you. Hotlines don't usually give direct advice to a third party caller, because it's hard to asess the situation accurately from an outside point of view. If you could get her to call one herself it would probably be beneficial, but she has to be willing to talk about her problems honestly or there's really no point in calling, unless an intervention is needed and in that case it takes time for the helpline worker to call 911 so it's better to just do that yourself if possible. But yeah I think you should call one, they can also give you referrals to councilling agencies/community health groups in your area that you can try and convince her to attend. And yeah like the other people said, that was a really ignorant thing to say, Cozmic, you should really do some research before shooting your mouth off like that. Suicide/suicidal thoughts is are incredibly complex things that vary so much from person to person, you can't make generalizations about any of the factors because it's so different in every case.

Apart · 10-17-2002, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mirror_Untrue
we NEVER hang up on people who are thinking about suicide! call us...we promise!!! ignore the facts and what you've heard, we care! we really do!

moron

mirrar · 10-17-2002, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Apart

moron

Actually, we do. If you're not willing to talk, we try and make people communicate as much as possible, but if they're being surly and nasty and the volunteer feels they can't be of help to them, we end the call.

Apart · 10-17-2002, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mirror_Untrue

your point has been proven.

thank you.

mirrar · 10-17-2002, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Apart

thank you.

refresh my memory on how i proved that hotlines are bullshit please. Oh, unless you think there's benefit to sitting on the phone for long periods of time with someone who is verbally abusive (much like yourself) or who refuses to talk, tying up the phonelines for other callers trying to get through.

Apart · 10-17-2002, 04:12 PM

whats that? more idiocy babble? more ego talk? good for you. you know it all, fool!

mirrar · 10-17-2002, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Apart
whats that? more idiocy babble? more ego talk? good for you. you know it all, fool!

i'm sorry a hotline hasn't been able to help you with your problems. Maybe we all just need more training just to deal with your special and incredibly facinating case.

Apart · 10-17-2002, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mirror_Untrue

yet MORE ego babble.

haha, stupid cunt. too bad you were far too stupid to read anything that was typed above your posts. ugly ignorant dumbfuck. hahaha

mirrar · 10-17-2002, 04:24 PM

Too bad i actually WORK at a hotline and decided to give some insight into the kinds of things we do.. God you facinate me.

Apart · 04:28 PM

you're stupidity facinates me! but not surprising, after all..you belong here on netphoria with these morons. keep up the good work, ugly cunt!

mirrar · 10-17-2002, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Apart
you're stupidity facinates me! but not surprising, after all..you belong here on netphoria with these morons. keep up the good work, ugly cunt!

you know what? you've never attacked me before. I feel as if i've been blessed by the great spirit of nevermind. My life is complete. *Happy sigh*

10-17-2002, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Apart

haha, stupid cunt. too bad you were far too stupid to read anything that was typed above your posts. ugly ignorant dumbfuck. hahaha

I get the sense that Apart is the only person on here with more pent-up anger than me.

Are you really as pissed off as you seem or is it all just schtick.

Oh yeah on the topic, I don't think there's any statistical accuracy to the statement that someone who talks abou killing themself will not do it.

You have to look more at the person.

My mom threatened to commit suicide after losing going blind in her left eye two years ago. She eventually had a nervous breakdown and spent six months in the care of others. All the while saying she was gonna kill herself.

No one took it that seriously (we were scared don't get me wrong) but not because she talked about it. It was more that she is kind of a weak-willed person. Not one to take initiative. The doctors said the only way someone with her personality would committ suicide was overdosing on pills because other methods (gun, slit wrist, etc.) requires more physical drive than she had.

And she never oded on pills so life is better these days. Kind of.

Apart · 10-17-2002, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mirror_Untrue

you know what? you've never attacked me before. I feel as if i've been blessed by the great spirit of nevermind. My life is complete. *Happy sigh*

until now you showed only mild stupidity, and were simply known as just another ugly bitch here.

but now that you've proven yourself royally stupid and ignorant, you are worthy of one thread of sad..yet truthful insults from me. congratulations.

spa ced · 10-17-2002, 04:57 PM

So those suicidine hotlines must really work though
Since Apart is still here...

James is Cool · 10-17-2002, 04:59 PM

By talking to you the way she did and threatening suicide, she's crying for help. I doubt she's actually going to carry through with killing herself, but you don't want to deal with the chance of that happening. Do what you can to make her feel better and get help immediately.

I went through this with a friend a few weeks ago.

Apart · 10-17-2002, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Ace of Aces

I get the sense that Apart is the only person on here with more pent-up anger than me.

Are you really as pissed off as you seem or is it all just schtick.

well, you ought to think what every other depressed dumbfuck here does about me. hope that i really do have that pent up anger so you can feel better about yourself in comparison. it's much easier to think of me that way, isint it? heh. go ahead and join the club.

10-17-2002, 02:07 AM	#1
gish1991 Amish Rake Fighter Location: NJ USA Posts: 20	Suicide Prevention Just wondering since this is a very talkative place and I have a feeling more than one of you hav egone through this . . . What would you guys/gals do if a friend of yours told you that they wanted to kill themselves? I have absolutely no clue and I had a friend on the phone earlier who is going through some really bad stuff ranging from cancer, money issues, and now a totaled car with little chance of getting insurance for a new one. Not to mention some of the usual parent/child issues, but she called me today crying and saying she might not see me again and started to cut herself with me on the phone listening. I managed to keep her on the line for a while, and it seems like the cuts weren't bad enough to make it permanent, but I can see this happening again in the future. I just dunno if I can handle it again. So, what I am asking is if anyone has gone through this or knows anything about it, what did (would) you do in this situation? I am desperate here, I don't want to lose a friend. Thanks for listening... __________________ Me and Jenny was like peas and carrots again!

10-17-2002, 02:24 AM	#4
gish1991 Amish Rake Fighter Location: NJ USA Posts: 20	sorry, the banana just show you what kinda personality I really am and now I have to deal with something completely opposite and foreign to me . . . . . and we are talking the mid-20's age range. __________________ Me and Jenny was like peas and carrots again!

10-17-2002, 04:25 PM	#24
Apart Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 1,039	you're stupidity facinates me! but not surprising, after all..you belong here on netphoria with these morons. keep up the good work, ugly cunt! Last edited by Apart : 10-17-2002 at 04:28 PM.

10-17-2002, 04:57 PM	#28
spa ced Braindead Location: Machu Picchu Posts: 15,291	So those suicidine hotlines must really work though Since Apart is still here... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. No contaban con mi astucia!

10-17-2002, 02:14 AM	#2
palidor Apocalyptic Poster Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,073	Wow. uhm, what age are we talking here? That's a really difficult situation. I'm sorry you have to deal with that, I have no idea how I would handle it..

10-17-2002, 02:16 AM	#3
sickbadthing Out fart the hottie! Location: I have super gonorrhoea Posts: 24,316	I was totally distracted by the dancing banana.

10-17-2002, 02:28 AM	#5
palidor Apocalyptic Poster Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,073	I really don't know what to do then. I guess I would try to find some sort of suicide hot-line #, because I'm sure they could point you in the right direction. Regardless, suicide is NOT something to fuck around with. Imagine how you would feel if she killed herself and you didn't do anything. I would get on that right away if I were you. Good luck.

10-17-2002, 02:30 AM	#6
sickbadthing Out fart the hottie! Location: I have super gonorrhoea Posts: 24,316	She needs professional help and if you can convince her of that then try that. If you know she is going to kill herself and she's serious, call the cops. It's not going to make her life any better but it may keep her from being dead.

10-17-2002, 03:30 AM	#7
cozmic Pledge Location: austin Posts: 181	Call me heartless, but it pisses me off when people say things like that. Honestly, I haven't heard of many cases in which people who really committed suicide told people they were going to do it beforehand. I mean, in order to tell someone you are going to kill yourself, you have to really want them to feel sorry for you. Why else would you tell them? I think it's selfish and pathetic. It's difficult for me to pity people like that. People that tell you things like that are looking for a power trip. They want to force you to a point of desperation. In my opinion, suicide is a cheap escape from life's tribulations. It's like cutting in line. I went through this with a friend in high school. On several occasions, we would be talking through AIM and he would say things like "I just want to end it all." To which I would reply with the obligatory, "Chad, don't talk like that. I really care about you... blah blah blah blah." It was useless. Because he would just say things like "Never mind. What do you care?" It went on and on and on. I always wonder how he would have responded if I had told him to go ahead and do it. But then if he really had killed himself, wouldn't I feel like shit? I'm not saying your friend doesn't have issues. Obviously she does. But it is wrong of her to make those problems become yours. Why tell a friend you're thinking about suicide? I still don't get it. It almost seems egotistic. Since she has put you in this awkward position... you obviously feel the need to do something to prevent her possible death. I'm sure she knows this too. So instead of alerting someone she is close to, like a parent (since there are obviously issues there), I would visit http://www.hopeline.com or call 1-800-SUICIDE and ask how you can directly get her professional help. She needs to learn how to cope. Then if she's not willing to accept help... that's not your problem. I have found that spoken reassurance is absolutely useless. There's really nothing more you can do... other than hire someone to watch her 24/7. (That could become quite expensive.)

10-17-2002, 08:00 AM	#8
Apart Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 1,039	haha. cozmic has to be the dumbest piece of shit on the boards! REAL smart babble right there! yeah, suicide hotlines REALLY work. a friend of mine called a few of them a couple years back, and get this..they actually hung up on him because "he didnt know what he wanted". lmfao!! yea, they REALLY give a shit! so go ahead, call them. they know oh so much about your friends and their problems!

10-17-2002, 11:28 AM	#10
KrazeeStacee Immortal Location: Sherwood Forest Posts: 21,296	Show them as much love and positive attitude as you can, try to get them to get help. If all else fails, like whoever said...call the cops. At least they won't be dead that way. My mom told my alcoholic dad she wanted a divorce several years ago, he got drunk and slit his whole arm open. When the ambulance finally came, he was in the bathroom with the door locked screaming about how he wanted to die, they busted the door down and when he resisted being taken, the one girl punched him and knocked him out, then they dragged him into the ambulance...haha, sorry...so basically, you gotta do whatever it takes.

10-17-2002, 03:35 PM	#11
Apart Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 1,039	haha. right on phorians. cozmic is obviously a severely fucked over cunt who doesnt understand jack shit about anything! then again, who didnt know this from the start? lmao. what an ugly ignorant cunt. hehe...

10-17-2002, 03:43 PM	#14
Apart Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 1,039	undone, ladies and gentlemen. coming to the defense of fucking morons, and she loves to do...being a fucking moron herself..of course. lets have a round of applause for the ignorant ugly cunt! and watch and she dazzles us with more vital information!

10-17-2002, 03:50 PM	#15
mirrar Braindead Location: in our bedroom, after the war. Posts: 19,826	I work at a suicide prevention hotline, and I can say that we've got the odd horrible worker there who wouldn't help her at all, but the screening process is pretty intensive and so is the training so the majority tend to be pretty good. If you were to call one for her, the main thing they'd try and do for you would be to provide "care to the caregiver" and help you try and get some of your feelings off your chest so they're not as much of a burden on you. Hotlines don't usually give direct advice to a third party caller, because it's hard to asess the situation accurately from an outside point of view. If you could get her to call one herself it would probably be beneficial, but she has to be willing to talk about her problems honestly or there's really no point in calling, unless an intervention is needed and in that case it takes time for the helpline worker to call 911 so it's better to just do that yourself if possible. But yeah I think you should call one, they can also give you referrals to councilling agencies/community health groups in your area that you can try and convince her to attend. And yeah like the other people said, that was a really ignorant thing to say, Cozmic, you should really do some research before shooting your mouth off like that. Suicide/suicidal thoughts is are incredibly complex things that vary so much from person to person, you can't make generalizations about any of the factors because it's so different in every case.

10-17-2002, 04:12 PM	#20
Apart Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 1,039	whats that? more idiocy babble? more ego talk? good for you. you know it all, fool!

10-17-2002, 04:24 PM	#23
mirrar Braindead Location: in our bedroom, after the war. Posts: 19,826	Too bad i actually WORK at a hotline and decided to give some insight into the kinds of things we do.. God you facinate me.

10-17-2002, 04:59 PM	#29
James is Cool Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 1,058	By talking to you the way she did and threatening suicide, she's crying for help. I doubt she's actually going to carry through with killing herself, but you don't want to deal with the chance of that happening. Do what you can to make her feel better and get help immediately. I went through this with a friend a few weeks ago.