I need advice.

SuckSuckStyle · 04-10-2013, 06:20 AM

so there's this girl...

met her a while back, very cool queer anarchist activist vegan type. a friend of my roommate-turn friend kinda thing. we see each other fairly frequently. I had been blindsided for a while by this other girl but now that she's out of the picture and i'm spending more time with her I've started to like her a lot.

my house mate seemed to have a thing for her but never said anything and is still fucking her ex on and off and kinda prioritizes that for god-knows-why.

the girl and i have become a bit flirty. she teases me a lot and thinks i'm hella weird and american. i used to think it was because she didnt like me but i was wrong.

friday night was a queer dance party and after one of our friends got hella drunk and tried to get on everyone, she asked me to dance with her for the rest of the night so she wouldnt get dancefloorraped. i said 'don't worry i won't try and kiss you' but then she said that i could. but i didn't because i'm chicken shit. plus it was the end of the night and we were in the middle of the dancefloor surrounded by our friends and kissing in public in asia is still pretty taboo. nobody's hookin up in da club. so i lost out on that. but i've seen her a few times since and it's nice. and we chat online and stuff.

the other night we got home and my house mate was like "do you think T likes me?" and i was like "uuhhhh i dont know. do you like her?" and she said "i don't know...i think so.."

so now what? i can't pursue this without talking to my house mate. we're too close for that. what do i say? how to i approach it? i was too distracted with other worries to say anything when she mentioned it but now i'm like 'fuck'.

Trotskilicious · 04-10-2013, 06:24 AM

dude seriously don't put your own interest on hold because someone else is "interested"

nobody has claim on her, she is a free woman and can choose

just do it

Shallowed · 04-10-2013, 06:28 AM

She's not the only girl in the world.

Trotskilicious · 04-10-2013, 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuckSuckStyle

i can't pursue this without talking to my house mate. we're too close for that. what do i say? how to i approach it?

"I like this girl and i'm totally gonna go for it."

if the housemate objects they are wrong.

MyOneAndOnly · 04-10-2013, 10:15 AM

SSS is a dude, right?

duovamp · 04-10-2013, 10:27 AM

Yes.

Good on you for respecting your friend, but you should be honest with all parties. Tell your friend you like this girl, and tell the girl you like her. You're an adult. No need to act like you're in middle school.

pale_princess · 04-10-2013, 10:57 AM

just bang her already guy!!!

slunken · 04-10-2013, 11:02 AM

Anarchist activist queer vegan

duovamp · 04-10-2013, 11:03 AM

Unless you want to go on a date with me.

kelsome · 04-10-2013, 11:11 AM

act now. tell your housemate you are def into her, you hang out a lot, and you are going to pursue it. Say you felt awkward saying something earlier.

Cool As Ice Cream · 04-10-2013, 11:12 AM

look into your heart

Future Boy · 04-10-2013, 11:27 AM

shes a vegan, move on

Trotskilicious · 04-10-2013, 12:04 PM

they weren't people.

they were vegans.

reprise85 · 04-10-2013, 12:18 PM

what everyone else said

Trotskilicious · 04-10-2013, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duovamp

No need to act like you're in middle school.

yeah i didn't want to be mean but ffs

MyOneAndOnly · 04-10-2013, 12:42 PM

SSS, you want to bang this chick? Or do you want to pursue a relationship with her?

Cause if she's gay, the relationship route is probably gonna blow up in your face. You might be able to fool around a bit, but if she likes women there's not much you can do for the long term except cut off your genitals.

Bread Regal · 04-10-2013, 12:45 PM

shut the fuck up scotty.

Bread Regal · 04-10-2013, 12:46 PM

i mean if you were in the united states i'd would say just go for it after a couple beers to loosen your nerves. but there's also the cultural divide to be considered.

duovamp · 04-10-2013, 12:47 PM

More like the clitoral divide! o/

Trotskilicious · 04-10-2013, 12:50 PM

Scotty, queer is not necessarily synonymous with homosexual

good to know you think lesbians will go for dudes if it's not a relationship

pale_princess · 04-10-2013, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bread Regal

shut the fuck up scotty.

MyOneAndOnly · 04-10-2013, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

Scotty, queer is not necessarily synonymous with homosexual

good to know you think lesbians will go for dudes if they have enough alcohol in them though

Ok... I get it.

I'll exit thread now

carry on

Eulogy · 04-10-2013, 12:59 PM

it took me like 4 times through before i could wrap my head around what he was even trying to say there

Trotskilicious · 04-10-2013, 12:59 PM

you didn't say anything about alcohol so i amended my post

Starla · 04-10-2013, 01:48 PM

Ask her if she is on pinterest and if so, follow her there.

SuckSuckStyle · 04-10-2013, 02:03 PM

1. it's not just my friend it's my house mate. so any goings-on in our personal lives are very much shared. we talk about everything and hang with the same groups so unless one of us is at work, we're generally together.

2. though i've known her for a while, i've just recently realized how into her i am. so i've been trying to feel things out before i do anything that would jeaprodise my friendship with the housemate. or with the girl.

3. yeah it feels like middle school because it's a small lesbian scene in a muslim country. it IS middle school. and i live with the queen bee. i'm actually a fairly private person and dont want my ish on blast.

4. she's queer. not a lesbian. i'm not exactly sure how much i can explain that...but you'd be surprised either way to know how many ladies in the scene are down for transmen. they fuckin dig it.

5. i'm open to either a relationship or just sex. she actually seems like she'd be a very cool person to have a non-romantic, highly sexual relationship with. she's not looking for a relationship and also is always traveling for her job so neither of us are too keen on being tied to one place for one person.

6. she doesnt drink but she's a huge stoner. i b uy from her house mate. so i can easily just be like 'let's get high'. and she'll be like 'let's!'.

7.

i did that today but then felt hella guilty. she ended up having to work but we all went out tonight and she never mentioned any of our plans/convo infront of my house mate.

8. yeah i'm just gonna bring it up like "so...how into T are you?" and regardless of the answer she'll ask why and I'll tell her.

9. duovamp- only if you take me to the movies and pretend to stretch and then go down on me isntead.

SuckSuckStyle · 04-10-2013, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand

. You might be able to fool around a bit, but if she likes women there's not much you can do for the long term except cut off your genitals.

dude.

pale_princess · 04-10-2013, 02:33 PM

amirite

duovamp · 04-10-2013, 02:50 PM

Robble.

noyen · 04-10-2013, 03:10 PM

talking about it is the only route now since your roommate mentioned liking her too. otherwise you coulde played dumb. it wont be as big of a deal as you think saying you like her too. ive been a few situations wher me and my roommate were interested in some of the same girls on multiple occassions. it will likely turn into a 'whoever gets it first' situation followed by a breakup between the two and then you or your roommate going after her afterwards causing a jealous rage and murder resulting in everyone dead.

just be honest to everyone and thats all you can do right? it does sound awkward regardless of how things go.

04-10-2013, 06:20 AM	#1
SuckSuckStyle Socialphobic Location: you look like you like to hang out. you look like you like to hang out and drink soda Posts: 12,677	I need advice. so there's this girl... met her a while back, very cool queer anarchist activist vegan type. a friend of my roommate-turn friend kinda thing. we see each other fairly frequently. I had been blindsided for a while by this other girl but now that she's out of the picture and i'm spending more time with her I've started to like her a lot. my house mate seemed to have a thing for her but never said anything and is still fucking her ex on and off and kinda prioritizes that for god-knows-why. the girl and i have become a bit flirty. she teases me a lot and thinks i'm hella weird and american. i used to think it was because she didnt like me but i was wrong. friday night was a queer dance party and after one of our friends got hella drunk and tried to get on everyone, she asked me to dance with her for the rest of the night so she wouldnt get dancefloorraped. i said 'don't worry i won't try and kiss you' but then she said that i could. but i didn't because i'm chicken shit. plus it was the end of the night and we were in the middle of the dancefloor surrounded by our friends and kissing in public in asia is still pretty taboo. nobody's hookin up in da club. so i lost out on that. but i've seen her a few times since and it's nice. and we chat online and stuff. the other night we got home and my house mate was like "do you think T likes me?" and i was like "uuhhhh i dont know. do you like her?" and she said "i don't know...i think so.." so now what? i can't pursue this without talking to my house mate. we're too close for that. what do i say? how to i approach it? i was too distracted with other worries to say anything when she mentioned it but now i'm like 'fuck'.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
taking life advice from a waitress at a buffet	exactlythesame	General Chat Archive	102	01-09-2012 05:51 PM
USA people I need your advice	Hillzy	General Chat Archive	72	06-10-2010 10:51 AM
SPLRA development advice	Syco54645	Pumpkins Archive	13	05-05-2008 07:06 PM
Advice on best device to record gigs on & audio editing?	leopheard	Music Board Archive	3	02-23-2008 05:27 PM
Advice on helping a friend with an eating disorder?	Tchocky	General Chat Archive	12	10-12-2006 05:22 PM

04-10-2013, 06:24 AM	#2
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	dude seriously don't put your own interest on hold because someone else is "interested" nobody has claim on her, she is a free woman and can choose just do it

04-10-2013, 06:28 AM	#3
Shallowed Braindead Posts: 17,798	She's not the only girl in the world.

04-10-2013, 10:15 AM	#5
MyOneAndOnly Shut the fuck up! Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor Posts: 21,943	SSS is a dude, right?

04-10-2013, 10:27 AM	#6
duovamp Brazilian Blouselord Location: heavy metal pool party Posts: 35,674	Yes. Good on you for respecting your friend, but you should be honest with all parties. Tell your friend you like this girl, and tell the girl you like her. You're an adult. No need to act like you're in middle school.

04-10-2013, 10:57 AM	#7
pale_princess spanish harlem mona lisa Location: the barrio Posts: 10,085	just bang her already guy!!!

04-10-2013, 11:02 AM	#8
slunken Virgo Posts: 39,745	Anarchist activist queer vegan

04-10-2013, 11:03 AM	#9
duovamp Brazilian Blouselord Location: heavy metal pool party Posts: 35,674	Unless you want to go on a date with me.

04-10-2013, 11:11 AM	#10
kelsome Apocalyptic Poster Location: the warmth between your thighs Posts: 1,175	act now. tell your housemate you are def into her, you hang out a lot, and you are going to pursue it. Say you felt awkward saying something earlier.

04-10-2013, 11:12 AM	#11
Cool As Ice Cream Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle? Posts: 31,761	look into your heart

04-10-2013, 11:27 AM	#12
Future Boy The Man of Tomorrow Posts: 26,972	shes a vegan, move on

04-10-2013, 12:04 PM	#13
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	they weren't people. they were vegans.

04-10-2013, 12:18 PM	#14
reprise85 BOTTLEG ILLEGAL Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face Posts: 31,883	what everyone else said

04-10-2013, 12:42 PM	#16
MyOneAndOnly Shut the fuck up! Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor Posts: 21,943	SSS, you want to bang this chick? Or do you want to pursue a relationship with her? Cause if she's gay, the relationship route is probably gonna blow up in your face. You might be able to fool around a bit, but if she likes women there's not much you can do for the long term except cut off your genitals.

04-10-2013, 12:45 PM	#17
Bread Regal Banned Posts: 5,711	shut the fuck up scotty.

04-10-2013, 12:46 PM	#18
Bread Regal Banned Posts: 5,711	i mean if you were in the united states i'd would say just go for it after a couple beers to loosen your nerves. but there's also the cultural divide to be considered.

04-10-2013, 12:47 PM	#19
duovamp Brazilian Blouselord Location: heavy metal pool party Posts: 35,674	More like the clitoral divide! o/

04-10-2013, 12:50 PM	#20
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	Scotty, queer is not necessarily synonymous with homosexual good to know you think lesbians will go for dudes if it's not a relationship

04-10-2013, 12:59 PM	#23
Eulogy huh Posts: 62,362	it took me like 4 times through before i could wrap my head around what he was even trying to say there

04-10-2013, 01:48 PM	#25
Starla ***** Posts: 15,778	Ask her if she is on pinterest and if so, follow her there.

04-10-2013, 02:03 PM	#26
SuckSuckStyle Socialphobic Location: you look like you like to hang out. you look like you like to hang out and drink soda Posts: 12,677	1. it's not just my friend it's my house mate. so any goings-on in our personal lives are very much shared. we talk about everything and hang with the same groups so unless one of us is at work, we're generally together. 2. though i've known her for a while, i've just recently realized how into her i am. so i've been trying to feel things out before i do anything that would jeaprodise my friendship with the housemate. or with the girl. 3. yeah it feels like middle school because it's a small lesbian scene in a muslim country. it IS middle school. and i live with the queen bee. i'm actually a fairly private person and dont want my ish on blast. 4. she's queer. not a lesbian. i'm not exactly sure how much i can explain that...but you'd be surprised either way to know how many ladies in the scene are down for transmen. they fuckin dig it. 5. i'm open to either a relationship or just sex. she actually seems like she'd be a very cool person to have a non-romantic, highly sexual relationship with. she's not looking for a relationship and also is always traveling for her job so neither of us are too keen on being tied to one place for one person. 6. she doesnt drink but she's a huge stoner. i b uy from her house mate. so i can easily just be like 'let's get high'. and she'll be like 'let's!'. 7. i did that today but then felt hella guilty. she ended up having to work but we all went out tonight and she never mentioned any of our plans/convo infront of my house mate. 8. yeah i'm just gonna bring it up like "so...how into T are you?" and regardless of the answer she'll ask why and I'll tell her. 9. duovamp- only if you take me to the movies and pretend to stretch and then go down on me isntead.

04-10-2013, 02:33 PM	#28
pale_princess spanish harlem mona lisa Location: the barrio Posts: 10,085	amirite

04-10-2013, 02:50 PM	#29
duovamp Brazilian Blouselord Location: heavy metal pool party Posts: 35,674	Robble.

04-10-2013, 03:10 PM	#30
noyen Immortal Posts: 26,816	talking about it is the only route now since your roommate mentioned liking her too. otherwise you coulde played dumb. it wont be as big of a deal as you think saying you like her too. ive been a few situations wher me and my roommate were interested in some of the same girls on multiple occassions. it will likely turn into a 'whoever gets it first' situation followed by a breakup between the two and then you or your roommate going after her afterwards causing a jealous rage and murder resulting in everyone dead. just be honest to everyone and thats all you can do right? it does sound awkward regardless of how things go.