Long distance relationships

[vixnix]

Do they ever work?

[Starla]

No.

[vixnix]

Yeah that is my gut feeling. My husband might be offered a job in another country but I really don't want to uproot the children again. But the job would be a huge opportunity for him.

[reprise85]

nope they dont work

maybe if it's very time limited

[vixnix]

What do you reckon about army wives?

[Starla]

.

[kelsome]

Is this something you may divorce over? or is one of you going to fold if distance doesn't work out?

I suppose army wives can do it, but the divorce rate is pretty high for them too.

A man I work with's wife is moving overseas to teach for two years and they're going to stick it out, I guess. Their children are mostly grown up though. Anything's possible. Depends on the people and circumstance.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

I prefer them

[vixnix]

My elder son is seven and this would be his sixth move since birth. And he's already spent 3 years in one country and 4 in another. I just want to settle down, and we've finally found the right area. We could happily stay here until they've finished high school. If we moved it would only be for a few years, to get my husband into the banking sector, so he could get a job in a bank back here.

[slunken]

i just ended mine not one hour ago

[TuralyonW3]

Kill your family

[butthurt]

I had a long distance relationship with a young man who lives in the SF bay area for several years (I'm in the Midwest). We exchanged hi-def videos and sexy emails for years, and he made lots of promises. While he was chatting me up, he started going on lavish dates with women, and ended up marrying one of them.

[killtrocity]

Good to see you're not butthurt about the whole thing

[pale_princess]

i'd say they're doomed. but you're already married so you've built a foundation. it could work for awhile, so long as there was a long-term plan on making it not long distance.

[pavementtune]

Originally Posted by vixnix

My elder son is seven and this would be his sixth move since birth. And he's already spent 3 years in one country and 4 in another. I just want to settle down, and we've finally found the right area. We could happily stay here until they've finished high school. If we moved it would only be for a few years, to get my husband into the banking sector, so he could get a job in a bank back here.

Oh. I guess I wouldn't want to move the kids again either... How important is it for him? And how far away would he be / how often could he come home?

[TuralyonW3]

I once had a long distance relationship with my current wife, but we were 4 hours away from each other and saw each other once a month.

[Toby]

If a ho wanna ho then let her go

[Dead Frequency]

Pretty much everybody in the military cheats on their S/O

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by pavementtune

Oh. I guess I wouldn't want to move the kids again either... How important is it for him? And how far away would he be / how often could he come home?

I don't know. We're in Sydney and he'd be in Asia. I think if we couldn't visit him once a quarter it wouldn't be enough. It's pretty important for him, he's at a career turning point and if he got the job it would be a big step up from where he is now, which is what he wants.

The other thing is there is a huge expat community over there, and they all have nannies and drivers because help is so affordable there. So it could make more sense for us all to go. In terms of my kids long term mental health I wonder if it would be better to stay. Having said that my husband was constantly on the move as a child and he's much more well adjusted than I am, in a lot of ways. anyway, the offer's not on the table yet so I won't worry too much.

Seems like long term relationships are pretty doomed though.

[Starla]

.

[vixnix]

Yeah I think if he's on his own in a new city he may find it easy to go and play. Having kids and getting older didn't hurt his looks, like they did mine. My friends all say he's good looking. Plus he's tall and has blue eyes. He's pretty hot. Ugh. Meanwhile I'm a dowdy looking cafeteria lady who takes the kids to school and church on Sunday. He'd never leave me because being married and having a family mean more to him than anything. But you know what they say about a man only being as faithful as his options.

[butthurt]

Post some nude or scantily clad photos of him so we can get an idea of who or what we are dealing with.

[slunken]

I TRIED! (I GAVE UP)

[Starla]

Originally Posted by vixnix

Yeah I think if he's on his own in a new city he may find it easy to go and play. Having kids and getting older didn't hurt his looks, like they did mine. My friends all say he's good looking. Plus he's tall and has blue eyes. He's pretty hot. Ugh. Meanwhile I'm a dowdy looking cafeteria lady who takes the kids to school and church on Sunday. He'd never leave me because being married and having a family mean more to him than anything. But you know what they say about a man only being as faithful as his options.

I don't think proximity has much to do with cheating. At least in my experience, it didn't.

[dean_r_koontz]

boring

[yo soy el mejor]

[Eulogy]

Yes. I think you need a defined endpoint though.

And to everyone saying definitively that they don't work, you don't know what you're talking about. It's hard. But it can work. If you want it to.

[Raskolnikov]

Did one of those for a few years - with a former Netphorian, actually - and agree. Unless there's a defined endpoint and a serious commitment to fidelity then it's rough. But, it can be done.

Think it's a lot different today than it was, say, 13 years ago in the days of calling cards and long distance fees. The unlimited calling/texting/webcam thing today would probably make it more novel for a while, but in the end, I think that might just make the longing/frustration worse.

[reprise85]

yeah i did the whole calling card thing in 1999. funny you picked that year (13 years ago)

we did use VoIP a little too but it sucked with dialup

[duovamp]

Long distance is the wrong distance.