when you don't "appreciate" your friends all that much

Siva 2007 · 06-06-2003, 02:19 PM

This is a long post, but please bear with me.

What would you do if a friend forced you to choose between them and someone else?

Here's the situation... My best friend has been in a relationship for nearly two years. Problem is, she is in love with her boyfriend's brother. She loved him even back then, before she got in the relationship and at that time it was mutual. She didn't think so, though. That's why she chose the other guy, the guy she's currently seeing. It doesn't make much sense but that's how she is. Anyway.. for more than a year she forgot about her first "choice" and was supposedly happy as a part of that couple. A few months ago everything changed. She kind of grew tired of her boyfriend and the feelings for his brother came back in full force. So for the last 5 months she's been flirting with him and he's been flirting back. She felt that she was now getting real close to her objective... getting him back and ending her current relationship. This leads us to yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon he left her a message to call him back. She was ecstatic. She called and learned that the reason he wanted to speak to her was to get my phone number! Now this really came as a surprise to me. I know the guy a little, we see each other when we all go out on saturdays but that's all. He said he wanted the number "for a friend". She asked which one, he just said "a friend".

This is where it gets really fucked up. She absolutely *had* to know right away what the deal was. So she pushed me into a crazy idea of hers... To call him and ask while she was on a third line, listening without him knowing. The conversation was so awkward.. anyway.. he asked me if I wanted to get out with his friends on saturday without her being there.. we never saw each other when she wasn't present. You can imagine she wasn't very pleased to hear this.

Ok.. I'm getting to the conlusion. After we hung up, we exachanged a few words on the messenger and she said.. I don't want you to talk to him. If you do, the friendship's over. I don't want to end this friendship! But I don't want to be told whom I can and cannot speak to. To me that guy is just a cool acquaintance who could eventually become a friend. So apparently he's going to call me saturday to "confirm". What the hell am I supposed to do?

Eulogy · 06-06-2003, 02:23 PM

Go out with the guy. She'll get over it.

FearFactory · 06-06-2003, 02:30 PM

You know, that whole "it's either him or me" bullshit is really, really grade school. Anyone that would tell you to choose between them and someone else isn't worth your time.

ammy · 06-06-2003, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FearFactory
You know, that whole "it's either him or me" bullshit is really, really grade school. Anyone that would tell you to choose between them and someone else isn't worth your time.

Eulogy · 06-06-2003, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FearFactory
You know, that whole "it's either him or me" bullshit is really, really grade school. Anyone that would tell you to choose between them and someone else isn't worth your time.

...and if she doesn't get over it....what this guy said.

sarmatianus · 06-06-2003, 02:32 PM

My general policy is not to grant ultimatums.

Nimrod's Son · 06-06-2003, 03:12 PM

Did you ask the guy WHY she was specifically barred from attending? There may be more going on than you know about.

Mooney · 06-06-2003, 04:04 PM

i've been 'the guy' in this situation. and because of one girl's selfishness all three of us lost out. so go for and don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad.

Human Replica Droid · 06-06-2003, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FearFactory
You know, that whole "it's either him or me" bullshit is really, really grade school. Anyone that would tell you to choose between them and someone else isn't worth your time.

Agreed. Your friend needs to suck it up and deal. Normally, I'd say never to pick dick over your friends, but if that's the way she wants it, then that's the way it's gonna be.

Besides that, dating a guy while lusting after his brother is just fuckin' gross. It doesn't seem to me like your friend is a very geniune person.

Junebug · 06-06-2003, 05:57 PM

what she said. That is one...interesting friend of yours :erm

06-06-2003, 02:19 PM	#1
Siva 2007 Demi-God Posts: 269	when you don't "appreciate" your friends all that much This is a long post, but please bear with me. What would you do if a friend forced you to choose between them and someone else? Here's the situation... My best friend has been in a relationship for nearly two years. Problem is, she is in love with her boyfriend's brother. She loved him even back then, before she got in the relationship and at that time it was mutual. She didn't think so, though. That's why she chose the other guy, the guy she's currently seeing. It doesn't make much sense but that's how she is. Anyway.. for more than a year she forgot about her first "choice" and was supposedly happy as a part of that couple. A few months ago everything changed. She kind of grew tired of her boyfriend and the feelings for his brother came back in full force. So for the last 5 months she's been flirting with him and he's been flirting back. She felt that she was now getting real close to her objective... getting him back and ending her current relationship. This leads us to yesterday. Yesterday afternoon he left her a message to call him back. She was ecstatic. She called and learned that the reason he wanted to speak to her was to get my phone number! Now this really came as a surprise to me. I know the guy a little, we see each other when we all go out on saturdays but that's all. He said he wanted the number "for a friend". She asked which one, he just said "a friend". This is where it gets really fucked up. She absolutely had to know right away what the deal was. So she pushed me into a crazy idea of hers... To call him and ask while she was on a third line, listening without him knowing. The conversation was so awkward.. anyway.. he asked me if I wanted to get out with his friends on saturday without her being there.. we never saw each other when she wasn't present. You can imagine she wasn't very pleased to hear this. Ok.. I'm getting to the conlusion. After we hung up, we exachanged a few words on the messenger and she said.. I don't want you to talk to him. If you do, the friendship's over. I don't want to end this friendship! But I don't want to be told whom I can and cannot speak to. To me that guy is just a cool acquaintance who could eventually become a friend. So apparently he's going to call me saturday to "confirm". What the hell am I supposed to do?

06-06-2003, 04:04 PM	#8
Mooney Socialphobic Location: halifax Posts: 14,821	i've been 'the guy' in this situation. and because of one girl's selfishness all three of us lost out. so go for and don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad. __________________

06-06-2003, 02:23 PM	#2
Eulogy huh Posts: 62,361	Go out with the guy. She'll get over it.

06-06-2003, 02:30 PM	#3
FearFactory Socialphobic Location: the stars Posts: 10,493	You know, that whole "it's either him or me" bullshit is really, really grade school. Anyone that would tell you to choose between them and someone else isn't worth your time.

06-06-2003, 02:32 PM	#6
sarmatianus Apocalyptic Poster Location: Charm City Posts: 1,033	My general policy is not to grant ultimatums.

06-06-2003, 03:12 PM	#7
Nimrod's Son Master of Karate and Friendship Location: in your butt Posts: 72,943	Did you ask the guy WHY she was specifically barred from attending? There may be more going on than you know about.

06-06-2003, 05:57 PM	#10
Junebug Minion of Satan Posts: 7,072	what she said. That is one...interesting friend of yours :erm