I rarely lol

ammy · 02-22-2008, 01:18 AM

but have been lolling right and left for the last 10 minutes

http://rinkworks.com/said/

Eulogy · 02-22-2008, 01:52 AM

# "My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

# "Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."

i loled after those two. ahhhahaha

Eulogy · 02-22-2008, 01:53 AM

"Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

redbull · 02-22-2008, 01:55 AM

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

Rider · 02-22-2008, 02:11 AM

http://www.flickr.com/groups/quoteabuse/pool/

Quotation mark abuse has become a new favorite topic of mine.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2418/...d239a0.jpg?v=0

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2276/...e16ce9.jpg?v=0

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2390/...3ecd00.jpg?v=0

wHATcOLOR · 02-22-2008, 02:20 AM

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."

"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."

"I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."

"When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

"A truck backed though my windshield and into my wife's face."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."

Rider · 02-22-2008, 02:28 AM

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

agenda suicide · 02-22-2008, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wHATcOLOR

"A truck backed though my windshield and into my wife's face."

ahahaha yeah, I was gonna post that one. it's great!

Nothing/everything · 02-22-2008, 04:52 AM

this is even better imho: http://engrish.com/

severin · 02-22-2008, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rider

http://www.flickr.com/groups/quoteabuse/pool/

Quotation mark abuse has become a new favorite topic of mine.

there's a car dealer near vienna who has a big sign outside stating (translated): We buy "your" car at once for good money

i really wonder what he wants to tell me and if it is save to buy a car from there...

severin · 02-22-2008, 05:34 AM

and i can't believe that one's real:

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No." Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

still funny though

Ever · 02-22-2008, 05:47 AM

Well that's no good, ammy. What if you get sick.

Mo · 02-22-2008, 05:52 AM

"Illiterate? Write today for free help."

Trotskilicious · 02-22-2008, 05:55 AM

I'll make you LOL.

sppunk · 02-22-2008, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rider

Quotation mark abuse has become a new favorite topic of mine.

Then go here: http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/

My favorite is Over Heard at the Office.

Some are gold.

mccririck · 02-22-2008, 09:16 AM

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."

ok then...

mccririck · 02-22-2008, 09:17 AM

I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end, and there was a crash."

28if · 02-22-2008, 12:16 PM

Some classic questions people have asked me as a ski instructor this year:

"If I go inside, can I get out of this altitude?"
"If my wife is in a three hour lesson that started at one, when should she be back?"
And my personal favourite:
"Where do they put the moguls in the summer?"

I like these too: http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/analogies.html.

spring · 02-22-2008, 12:17 PM

i totally lolled

wally · 02-22-2008, 12:21 PM

I'm a tough crowd

Eulogy · 02-22-2008, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 28if

I like these too: http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/analogies.html.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a drier without "Cling-Free."

i thought that one was kind of good.

28if · 02-22-2008, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eulogy

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a drier without "Cling-Free."

i thought that one was kind of good.

"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."

hnibos · 02-22-2008, 12:46 PM

"While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."

Sarcastic Smile · 02-22-2008, 12:59 PM

"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?" -- George W. Bush
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." -- George W. Bush
"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." -- George W. Bush
"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor as you like to be liked yourself." -- George W. Bush
"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." -- George W. Bush
"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question." -- George W. Bush

02-22-2008, 01:18 AM	#1
ammy yer mom Posts: 23,180	I rarely lol but have been lolling right and left for the last 10 minutes http://rinkworks.com/said/

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02-22-2008, 01:52 AM	#2
Eulogy huh Posts: 62,362	# "My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him." # "Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot." i loled after those two. ahhhahaha

02-22-2008, 01:53 AM	#3
Eulogy huh Posts: 62,362	"Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

02-22-2008, 01:55 AM	#4
redbull Immortal Location: like liutenant dan i'm rollin' Posts: 21,035	http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

02-22-2008, 02:11 AM	#5
Rider Minion of Satan Location: I was born a snake handler, and I'll die a snake handler Posts: 9,505	http://www.flickr.com/groups/quoteabuse/pool/ Quotation mark abuse has become a new favorite topic of mine. http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2418/...d239a0.jpg?v=0 http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2276/...e16ce9.jpg?v=0 http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2390/...3ecd00.jpg?v=0

02-22-2008, 02:20 AM	#6
wHATcOLOR THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! Location: \|\| MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!! Posts: 46,831	"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car." "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have." "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him." "I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car." "When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car." "A truck backed though my windshield and into my wife's face." "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him." "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."

02-22-2008, 02:28 AM	#7
Rider Minion of Satan Location: I was born a snake handler, and I'll die a snake handler Posts: 9,505	Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

02-22-2008, 04:52 AM	#9
Nothing/everything Minion of Satan Location: Groningen; Netherlands Posts: 8,000	this is even better imho: http://engrish.com/

02-22-2008, 05:34 AM	#11
severin no more than sympathy Location: lying on the floor Posts: 14,826	and i can't believe that one's real: Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere." still funny though

02-22-2008, 05:47 AM	#12
Ever Minion of Satan Location: ☆.。.:*・゜`★ Posts: 8,203	Well that's no good, ammy. What if you get sick.

02-22-2008, 05:52 AM	#13
Mo Immortal Posts: 20,988	"Illiterate? Write today for free help."

02-22-2008, 05:55 AM	#14
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	I'll make you LOL.

02-22-2008, 09:16 AM	#16
mccririck Apocalyptic Poster Location: Spa Posts: 3,884	"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way." ok then...

02-22-2008, 09:17 AM	#17
mccririck Apocalyptic Poster Location: Spa Posts: 3,884	I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end, and there was a crash."

02-22-2008, 12:16 PM	#18
28if Apocalyptic Poster Location: yeah seriously i think we've more than established a consensus on reality, it's not that abstract. Posts: 3,454	Some classic questions people have asked me as a ski instructor this year: "If I go inside, can I get out of this altitude?" "If my wife is in a three hour lesson that started at one, when should she be back?" And my personal favourite: "Where do they put the moguls in the summer?" I like these too: http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/analogies.html.

02-22-2008, 12:17 PM	#19
spring die 'til it doesn't hurt Posts: 7,475	i totally lolled

02-22-2008, 12:21 PM	#20
wally cibohplaicos Posts: 10,310	I'm a tough crowd

02-22-2008, 12:46 PM	#23
hnibos Braindead Location: I was just reading, right? Posts: 15,020	"While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."

02-22-2008, 12:59 PM	#24
Sarcastic Smile Amish Rake Fighter Location: I fuck in my spare time, this is what I do at work you dumb bitch.-esty Posts: 3,671	"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?" -- George W. Bush "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." -- George W. Bush "The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." -- George W. Bush "We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor as you like to be liked yourself." -- George W. Bush "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." -- George W. Bush "I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question." -- George W. Bush