psychic cat found dead

undersco_red · 08-14-2007, 11:44 AM

PROVIDENCE, RI - Oscar, the nursing home cat who could seemingly sense the impending death of patients, was found dead early yesterday. The cat gained recent notoriety when reports of his ability to detect the impending death of the terminally ill became public. Seemingly aware that death was at hand, Oscar would reportedly climb into the bed of patients during their final hours.
Oscar
Officials at the facility would not reveal the cause of death, but did acknowledge rumors that the cat was becoming increasingly unpopular among the patients. One knowledgeable source - who agreed to speak with us on the condition of anonymity - confirmed increasing animosity toward the animal, and that a dented bedpan was found near the body.

According to our source, the recent publicity of Oscar's unique insight spread quickly throughout the facility. Patients in the terminal ward became increasingly upset at the sight of the cat, prompting administrators to move Oscar to another floor. After an unexpected death on that floor, Oscar quickly became quite unwelcome there too. "Good riddance." said patient Gertrude Feinman, when told of the cat's demise. "It would just sit there and stare at you - with this look on his face like 'you're next'".

A spokesman for the home downplayed any immediate talk of foul play. "We don't want to jump to any conclusions." said Ronald Kitzmiller, Director of Operations at the facility. "We'll wait for the coroner's report, and then decide if any legal action is warranted."

Cool As Ice Cream · 08-14-2007, 11:47 AM

good riddance

AndySlash · 08-14-2007, 11:53 AM

I'd hit it.

The Pashing Smumpkin · 08-14-2007, 11:53 AM

oh lol...

lol, i say lol.

ella · 08-14-2007, 11:54 AM

That's fucking pathetic. Those old people disgust me.

undersco_red · 08-14-2007, 11:57 AM

oh sorry it's fake.

Rarely · 08-14-2007, 11:59 AM

ha the old people decided to band together and take that faggot out

Harry Lime · 08-14-2007, 12:08 PM

aw crap. del

gpub · 08-14-2007, 12:26 PM

that's the funniest shit I've ever heard

The Jesus · 08-14-2007, 12:45 PM

Death is no laughing matter.

christian zombie vampires · 08-14-2007, 12:56 PM

i fucking love this whole thing.

gpub · 08-14-2007, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Jesus

Death is no laughing matter.

Old man one... Cat zero.

Aeroplane · 08-14-2007, 02:04 PM

i wondered if he predicted his own demise

mxzombie · 08-14-2007, 02:05 PM

it's fake, gpub

redbull · 08-14-2007, 02:24 PM

i fucking love that cat

gpub · 08-14-2007, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mxzombie

it's fake, gpub

I knew it was too good to be true... We can still imagine, tho

undersco_red · 08-14-2007, 04:13 PM

it was a fluff piece on the news a couple weeks ago. that particular article about the cat dying is fake though..

dom are you bettening down the hatches for that storm comin through

tyguy666 · 08-14-2007, 04:47 PM

i remember reading the original article at work.... it was pretty wild

08-14-2007, 11:44 AM	#1
undersco_red Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 2,283	psychic cat found dead PROVIDENCE, RI - Oscar, the nursing home cat who could seemingly sense the impending death of patients, was found dead early yesterday. The cat gained recent notoriety when reports of his ability to detect the impending death of the terminally ill became public. Seemingly aware that death was at hand, Oscar would reportedly climb into the bed of patients during their final hours. Oscar Officials at the facility would not reveal the cause of death, but did acknowledge rumors that the cat was becoming increasingly unpopular among the patients. One knowledgeable source - who agreed to speak with us on the condition of anonymity - confirmed increasing animosity toward the animal, and that a dented bedpan was found near the body. According to our source, the recent publicity of Oscar's unique insight spread quickly throughout the facility. Patients in the terminal ward became increasingly upset at the sight of the cat, prompting administrators to move Oscar to another floor. After an unexpected death on that floor, Oscar quickly became quite unwelcome there too. "Good riddance." said patient Gertrude Feinman, when told of the cat's demise. "It would just sit there and stare at you - with this look on his face like 'you're next'". A spokesman for the home downplayed any immediate talk of foul play. "We don't want to jump to any conclusions." said Ronald Kitzmiller, Director of Operations at the facility. "We'll wait for the coroner's report, and then decide if any legal action is warranted."

08-14-2007, 11:47 AM	#2
Cool As Ice Cream Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle? Posts: 31,761	good riddance

08-14-2007, 11:53 AM	#4
The Pashing Smumpkin Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 3,128	oh lol... lol, i say lol.

08-14-2007, 11:54 AM	#5
ella Minion of Satan Posts: 5,562	That's fucking pathetic. Those old people disgust me.

08-14-2007, 11:57 AM	#6
undersco_red Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 2,283	oh sorry it's fake.

08-14-2007, 11:59 AM	#7
Rarely Shh Posts: 3,780	ha the old people decided to band together and take that faggot out

08-14-2007, 12:08 PM	#8
Harry Lime Amish Rake Fighter Posts: 9	aw crap. del

08-14-2007, 12:26 PM	#9
gpub Minion of Satan Location: You's guys dont's likes the Toki... Well fucks you's Posts: 5,782	that's the funniest shit I've ever heard

08-14-2007, 12:45 PM	#10
The Jesus Minion of Satan Location: Kiltworld Posts: 5,945	Death is no laughing matter.

08-14-2007, 12:56 PM	#11
christian zombie vampires Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 3,565	i fucking love this whole thing.

08-14-2007, 02:04 PM	#13
Aeroplane Minion of Satan Location: fine. i must finally admit it: LA, CA Posts: 8,587	i wondered if he predicted his own demise

08-14-2007, 02:05 PM	#14
mxzombie Braindead Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green. Posts: 15,578	it's fake, gpub

08-14-2007, 02:24 PM	#15
redbull Immortal Location: like liutenant dan i'm rollin' Posts: 21,035	i fucking love that cat

08-14-2007, 04:13 PM	#17
undersco_red Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 2,283	it was a fluff piece on the news a couple weeks ago. that particular article about the cat dying is fake though.. dom are you bettening down the hatches for that storm comin through

08-14-2007, 04:47 PM	#18
tyguy666 Demi-God Posts: 340	i remember reading the original article at work.... it was pretty wild