funniest joke ever

severin · 06:36 PM

courtesy of laughlab.co.uk, after 40.000 jokes to choose from and 2.000.000 votes: *drum roll*

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

2nd place:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Samsa · 10-07-2002, 06:37 PM

I POSTED THIS A COUPLE DAYS AGO HAW HAW I WIN I WIN HAW

severin · 10-07-2002, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa
I POSTED THIS A COUPLE DAYS AGO HAW HAW I WIN I WIN HAW

DARN YUO!

Apart · 10-07-2002, 06:50 PM

first one - gay

2nd one - greathttp://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/icons/icon14.gif

MADpeace · 10-07-2002, 07:44 PM

It makes me wonder what the other 39,998 were.

Nothing beats a good dead baby joke though!

What do you get when you stab a baby fifty times?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

A RAGING HARD-ON

Ghetto_Squirrel · 10-07-2002, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MADpeace
Nothing beats a good dead baby joke though!

For some reason, the people at my lunch table are always offended by them.

spa ced · 10-07-2002, 09:51 PM

Both of those jokes fucking suck.
I want my money back.

10-07-2002, 06:31 PM	#1
severin no more than sympathy Location: lying on the floor Posts: 14,826	funniest joke ever courtesy of laughlab.co.uk, after 40.000 jokes to choose from and 2.000.000 votes: drum roll A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?" 2nd place: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!" __________________ i once told a To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. that nothing really ends Last edited by severin : 10-07-2002 at 06:36 PM.

10-07-2002, 06:50 PM	#4
Apart Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 1,039	aye first one - gay 2nd one - greathttp://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/icons/icon14.gif

10-07-2002, 07:44 PM	#5
MADpeace Ownz Location: oooooo I'm around... Posts: 923	uum... It makes me wonder what the other 39,998 were. Nothing beats a good dead baby joke though! What do you get when you stab a baby fifty times? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A RAGING HARD-ON __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. TIER SIX!!!! OUTTA MY WAY!!!

10-07-2002, 06:37 PM	#2
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	I POSTED THIS A COUPLE DAYS AGO HAW HAW I WIN I WIN HAW

10-07-2002, 09:51 PM	#7
spa ced Braindead Location: Machu Picchu Posts: 15,291	Both of those jokes fucking suck. I want my money back.