I'm not going to explain. I am NOT on a bender.

Magic the Gathering · 10-04-2002, 04:17 PM

Dear Alex,

Thank you very much for your email. I understand how Ask Jeeves, Inc. is obviously worried about Something Awful violating the "unfair competition law," since I'm sure the CEO of Ask Jeeves, Inc. has trouble sleeping at night, worrying about Something Awful stealing your client (or have you gotten more than one yet?) and having them use our search engine, a Perl script that's 40 lines long and is somehow more effective than your entire service.

As a result, I have taken down all the images violating your cherished trademarks, and replaced them with suitable images. I hope you find them to your liking:

http://www.somethingawful.com/article.php?id=369

> and any trade dress or type style similar to those of Ask Jeeves. We further
> demand that you confirm in writing that you will not in the future use any
> mark, trade dress, or copyrighted works similar to those of Ask Jeeves. Your
> timely written confirmation of your compliance with each of these demands
> may render legal action on our part unnecessary.

Fuck off, that's bullshit and your futile attempt to threaten us isn't working. Here's my response to that:

WE WILL MAKE FUN OF ASK JEEVES AND YOUR SHITTY SERVICE IN THE FUTURE. WE WILL PARODY YOUR CRAPPY WEBSITE WHEN WE FEEL LIKE IT. GO SHOVE YOUR BULLSHIT FAKE LEGAL DOCUMENTS UP JEEVE'S TIGHT VIRGIN ASSHOLE, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SCARING US WITH YOUR FAKE LITTLE THREAT. I DEMAND THAT YOU CONFIRM IN WRITING THAT I AM THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND. I DEMAND YOU CONFIRM IN WRITING THAT YOU WEAR BRITCHES AND / OR A FEDORA.

> This email message is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and
> contains confidential and privileged information. Any unauthorized review,
> use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended
> recipient, please contact the sender by reply email and destroy all copies
> of the original message.

I call bullshit again. Go back to your Lawyer Rodeo Clown College Alex, once you send me email it becomes *my* property and there's jack shit you can do about it except possible make more bullshit legal threats. ALEX YOU ARE A SEXY BEAST!

Enjoy, clowncakes! Please let me know if there's anything else I can do to help your company. Also, I was wondering if you are single, because your powerful lawyerin' message turned me on, big time.

- Rich

PS: plz send pics, Alex. A/S/L?

10-04-2002, 04:17 PM	#1
Magic the Gathering Pledge Location: In the temple Posts: 82	I'm not going to explain. I am NOT on a bender. Dear Alex, Thank you very much for your email. I understand how Ask Jeeves, Inc. is obviously worried about Something Awful violating the "unfair competition law," since I'm sure the CEO of Ask Jeeves, Inc. has trouble sleeping at night, worrying about Something Awful stealing your client (or have you gotten more than one yet?) and having them use our search engine, a Perl script that's 40 lines long and is somehow more effective than your entire service. As a result, I have taken down all the images violating your cherished trademarks, and replaced them with suitable images. I hope you find them to your liking: http://www.somethingawful.com/article.php?id=369 > and any trade dress or type style similar to those of Ask Jeeves. We further > demand that you confirm in writing that you will not in the future use any > mark, trade dress, or copyrighted works similar to those of Ask Jeeves. Your > timely written confirmation of your compliance with each of these demands > may render legal action on our part unnecessary. Fuck off, that's bullshit and your futile attempt to threaten us isn't working. Here's my response to that: WE WILL MAKE FUN OF ASK JEEVES AND YOUR SHITTY SERVICE IN THE FUTURE. WE WILL PARODY YOUR CRAPPY WEBSITE WHEN WE FEEL LIKE IT. GO SHOVE YOUR BULLSHIT FAKE LEGAL DOCUMENTS UP JEEVE'S TIGHT VIRGIN ASSHOLE, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SCARING US WITH YOUR FAKE LITTLE THREAT. I DEMAND THAT YOU CONFIRM IN WRITING THAT I AM THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND. I DEMAND YOU CONFIRM IN WRITING THAT YOU WEAR BRITCHES AND / OR A FEDORA. > This email message is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and > contains confidential and privileged information. Any unauthorized review, > use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended > recipient, please contact the sender by reply email and destroy all copies > of the original message. I call bullshit again. Go back to your Lawyer Rodeo Clown College Alex, once you send me email it becomes my property and there's jack shit you can do about it except possible make more bullshit legal threats. ALEX YOU ARE A SEXY BEAST! Enjoy, clowncakes! Please let me know if there's anything else I can do to help your company. Also, I was wondering if you are single, because your powerful lawyerin' message turned me on, big time. - Rich PS: plz send pics, Alex. A/S/L? __________________ "i can't stand your retarded posts about your college, or how you write for the newspaper, or how often you fuck your girlfriend, or how you always suggest people read books by latin-american authors because LATINO LITERATURE IZ 2 OBSCURE 4 U. you're an intellectual hipster. a fucking creep. i can't stand you." To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.