my writing career is underway

11-22-2006, 08:20 PM

i just submitted some of my stories about being in an alternative school to mcsweeneys
i decided to try these since in the thread i posted them all in thrillho was lolling at them and demanding i post more and ravenguy said they reminded him of sedaris
if any of them make it on the site i'll stick with writing
maybe take some creative writing courses at community college to develop my talents further you know
if i am rejected, which is what im expecting within the next two days, i'm going to give up on ever doing anything more than low-paying office bullshit, so this is kind of a big thing

daydreamer999 · 11-22-2006, 09:40 PM

we should exchange manuscripts sometime

yo soy el mejor · 11-22-2006, 09:45 PM

post them

Katy Lied · 11-22-2006, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

post them

like that's gonna happen

stain · 11-22-2006, 09:47 PM

Good luck. Do you take any recreational drugs?

Karl Connor · 11-22-2006, 09:55 PM

i'm writing a children's novel

i decided i'm too dumb/unskilled to write a good adult novel

11-22-2006, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karl Connor

i'm writing a children's novel

i decided i'm to dumb/unskilled to write a good adult novel

do what im doing
write a humor book

11-22-2006, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katy Lied

like that's gonna happen

i posted them on the board years ago, doofus
did you read what i posted up there?
youre not picking up what im putting down here

Katy Lied · 11-22-2006, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graveflower

i posted them on the board years ago, doofus
did you read what i posted up there?
youre not picking up what im putting down here

i read it too quick, now i see it...sorry

Trotskilicious · 11-22-2006, 11:46 PM

Good luck, man.

ohnoitsbonnie · 11-22-2006, 11:49 PM

you're sucking up too much, rich

Trotskilicious · 11-22-2006, 11:50 PM

I'm glad that the premier humor literature magazine is called McSweeney's.

Cell Tech · 11-22-2006, 11:51 PM

edit: whops, i didnt know who "rich" meant for some reason

whatever, you all blow

11-22-2006, 11:51 PM

i'm concerned that its not protocol to submit multiple stories at once

Karl Connor · 11-22-2006, 11:54 PM

writersmarket.com and writersdigest.com are legit ways to get stuff out there btw

11-22-2006, 11:55 PM

also the titles of the stories arent very good
titles are my biggest problem

Everyone Thought it Was So Cool That I Had an MP3 Player

I Had to Star In an Anti-Weed Video

My Science Teacher Bought Me a Copy of Its Only Right and Natural by The Frogs

and so on

Karl Connor · 11-22-2006, 11:56 PM

they're not bad, but arent attention-grabbers either

11-22-2006, 11:57 PM

keep in mind that i sent them to the ultra-self aware and ironic mcsweeneys

11-22-2006, 11:59 PM

here are examples of mcsweeneys article titles:

I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named "Elgdorf the Mage" Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges

Perhaps I Should Stop Naming the Protagonists in My Semi-Autobiographical Fiction After Myself

Yahoo's MAILER-DAEMON Automated Reply for Failed E-mail Delivery Is Getting a Little Too Intimate

Elvis The Fat Years · 12:15 AM

this from a book i wrote called junkie.

shakespeare's last dance

grave sites filled with apple cider,
pockets filled with pickles.
the dead know only one thing- it's better to be alive,
but the keebler elf made me do it anyway.

im bleeding tomato sauce out my nose,
naked, like sex with you,
but for now my hand will have to do.
got trashed by a tree,
who's me?

blue playdough pudding, cats and chopsticks,
food for a king while dead men sing.
i hate yellow thumbs and black teeth.
i am very still riding through the alcohol circus.

that's courtesy of an obscene amount of acid and a 4 foot bong.

Cell Tech · 11-23-2006, 12:08 AM

i feel like i already know your writing style from those titles. its not really to my taste

Karl Connor · 11-23-2006, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graveflower

here are examples of mcsweeneys article titles:

I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named "Elgdorf the Mage" Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges

Perhaps I Should Stop Naming the Protagonists in My Semi-Autobiographical Fiction After Myself

Yahoo's MAILER-DAEMON Automated Reply for Failed E-mail Delivery Is Getting a Little Too Intimate

those are pretty amazing

Trotskilicious · 11-23-2006, 12:12 AM

I like the first one.

11-23-2006, 12:15 AM

Postcards from "The Edge"

Elvis The Fat Years · 11-23-2006, 12:19 AM

im not sure what to call this one

ffs4ver: hey good game 2nite
Im Not OK: what the fuck are you talking about?
ffs4ver: u played againsy me
Im Not OK: bullshit
ffs4ver: wtf u bitch
Im Not OK: rectal itch
ffs4ver: o ya rite I'm a bitch u whore
Im Not OK: can i stick my finger up your ass?
ffs4ver: umm hell no

Karl Connor · 11-23-2006, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elvis The Fat Years

im not sure what to call this one

how about "I'm Not Gay but I Just Masturbated to a .jpg of That Guy in The Human League"

11-23-2006, 12:22 AM

Social Security Denies Gregor Samsa's Disability Claim

David Caruso Scolds His Cat About Its Lackadaisical Litter-Box Use

Lady Macbeth on Ambien

Conversations I've Had During a Normal Day in Los Angeles, Modified to include the Shocking Depiction of Racism Found in Paul Haggis's 2005 Film Crash

Matthew Barney and Björk Place an Ikea Phone Order

Sammiches · 11-23-2006, 12:22 AM

Sean you are such a liar. Who did you submit them to? Your trash can? Oh, I bet it was one of those big writing contest sites like poetry.com where everyone is a winner.

11-23-2006, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cell Tech

i feel like i already know your writing style from those titles. its not really to my taste

you know it from my posts
theyre basically blog entries

11-23-2006, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sammiches

Sean you are such a liar. Who did you submit them to? Your trash can? Oh, I bet it was one of those big writing contest sites like poetry.com where everyone is a winner.

mcsweeney's
i said it twice in this thread you idiot

11-22-2006, 08:20 PM	#1
MusicMan4 Posts: n/a	my writing career is underway i just submitted some of my stories about being in an alternative school to mcsweeneys i decided to try these since in the thread i posted them all in thrillho was lolling at them and demanding i post more and ravenguy said they reminded him of sedaris if any of them make it on the site i'll stick with writing maybe take some creative writing courses at community college to develop my talents further you know if i am rejected, which is what im expecting within the next two days, i'm going to give up on ever doing anything more than low-paying office bullshit, so this is kind of a big thing

11-23-2006, 12:06 AM	#20
Elvis The Fat Years 007 373 5963 Posts: 31,408	this from a book i wrote called junkie. shakespeare's last dance grave sites filled with apple cider, pockets filled with pickles. the dead know only one thing- it's better to be alive, but the keebler elf made me do it anyway. im bleeding tomato sauce out my nose, naked, like sex with you, but for now my hand will have to do. got trashed by a tree, who's me? blue playdough pudding, cats and chopsticks, food for a king while dead men sing. i hate yellow thumbs and black teeth. i am very still riding through the alcohol circus. that's courtesy of an obscene amount of acid and a 4 foot bong. Last edited by Elvis The Fat Years : 11-23-2006 at 12:15 AM.

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11-22-2006, 09:40 PM	#2
daydreamer999 Minion of Satan Posts: 5,782	we should exchange manuscripts sometime

11-22-2006, 09:45 PM	#3
yo soy el mejor Banned Location: all over the Internet Posts: 43,693	post them

11-22-2006, 09:47 PM	#5
stain Demi-God Location: Trapped in a box Posts: 344	Good luck. Do you take any recreational drugs?

11-22-2006, 09:55 PM	#6
Karl Connor ADMlNISTRATOR Posts: 18,933	i'm writing a children's novel i decided i'm too dumb/unskilled to write a good adult novel

11-22-2006, 11:46 PM	#10
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	Good luck, man.

11-22-2006, 11:49 PM	#11
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	you're sucking up too much, rich

11-22-2006, 11:50 PM	#12
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	I'm glad that the premier humor literature magazine is called McSweeney's.

11-22-2006, 11:51 PM	#13
Cell Tech Demi-God Posts: 394	edit: whops, i didnt know who "rich" meant for some reason whatever, you all blow

11-22-2006, 11:54 PM	#15
Karl Connor ADMlNISTRATOR Posts: 18,933	writersmarket.com and writersdigest.com are legit ways to get stuff out there btw

11-22-2006, 11:55 PM	#16
MusicMan4 Posts: n/a	also the titles of the stories arent very good titles are my biggest problem Everyone Thought it Was So Cool That I Had an MP3 Player I Had to Star In an Anti-Weed Video My Science Teacher Bought Me a Copy of Its Only Right and Natural by The Frogs and so on

11-22-2006, 11:56 PM	#17
Karl Connor ADMlNISTRATOR Posts: 18,933	they're not bad, but arent attention-grabbers either

11-22-2006, 11:57 PM	#18
MusicMan4 Posts: n/a	keep in mind that i sent them to the ultra-self aware and ironic mcsweeneys

11-22-2006, 11:59 PM	#19
MusicMan4 Posts: n/a	here are examples of mcsweeneys article titles: I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named "Elgdorf the Mage" Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges Perhaps I Should Stop Naming the Protagonists in My Semi-Autobiographical Fiction After Myself Yahoo's MAILER-DAEMON Automated Reply for Failed E-mail Delivery Is Getting a Little Too Intimate

11-23-2006, 12:08 AM	#21
Cell Tech Demi-God Posts: 394	i feel like i already know your writing style from those titles. its not really to my taste

11-23-2006, 12:12 AM	#23
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	I like the first one.

11-23-2006, 12:15 AM	#24
MusicMan4 Posts: n/a	Postcards from "The Edge"

11-23-2006, 12:19 AM	#25
Elvis The Fat Years 007 373 5963 Posts: 31,408	im not sure what to call this one ffs4ver: hey good game 2nite Im Not OK: what the fuck are you talking about? ffs4ver: u played againsy me Im Not OK: bullshit ffs4ver: wtf u bitch Im Not OK: rectal itch ffs4ver: o ya rite I'm a bitch u whore Im Not OK: can i stick my finger up your ass? ffs4ver: umm hell no

11-23-2006, 12:22 AM	#27
MusicMan4 Posts: n/a	Social Security Denies Gregor Samsa's Disability Claim David Caruso Scolds His Cat About Its Lackadaisical Litter-Box Use Lady Macbeth on Ambien Conversations I've Had During a Normal Day in Los Angeles, Modified to include the Shocking Depiction of Racism Found in Paul Haggis's 2005 Film Crash Matthew Barney and Björk Place an Ikea Phone Order

11-23-2006, 12:22 AM	#28
Sammiches Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 3,232	Sean you are such a liar. Who did you submit them to? Your trash can? Oh, I bet it was one of those big writing contest sites like poetry.com where everyone is a winner.