Here is why rock beats paper everytime...

Fathoms (unadored) · 08-17-2006, 04:36 PM

What is it that people do with rocks? Well, one answer is that rocks get thrown. It's fun, right? Well, what about paper. When someone asks you to hand over a piece of paper what do you naturally think they are going to do with it? Well, my guess would be they would write on it. It's a reasonable assumption. So why then in Rock Paper Scissors does paper always beat out rock? Shouldn't it be the other way around? After all, wrapping a paper around a rock is rather adverse in respect to papers natural function. Wheras it's greatly more concievable that one would throw a rock and said rock would bust through paper. Or at the very least you could use a rock to tear the paper up (rocks after all, do make great tools). The mechanics of the game would be all screwed up, but at least the objects would function more organically. You can't just say paper beats rock because you'd like it too. Reality doesn't have to conform to one's insistance on convienience.

Bart Simpson has always been correct.

obscured01 · 08-17-2006, 04:37 PM

Rockin' Cherub · 08-17-2006, 04:40 PM

we always had a fourth one, fountain/well. it would beat all the other ones but only the cool kids were permitted to use it.

Fathoms (unadored) · 08-17-2006, 04:45 PM

We tried coming up with a better one the other day but ultimately the results were lukewarm. We mused on the traditional Foot Cockroach Atom Bomb, then went to God Human Satan. There as also this other ingenious idea I came up with but it didn't take and now I can't remember it. The whole thing was all set in motion by the fact that someone had to press play on the DVD player. At first I was too lazy to play Rock Paper Scissors but was ultimately ousted in a best out of three game of Rock Paper. But then "play" needed pressing again and I just had to start a protest.

Rockin' Cherub · 08-17-2006, 04:55 PM

hm this god human satan game doesn't make much sense to me. after all, if man is five, then the devil is six etc.

Fathoms (unadored) · 08-17-2006, 04:58 PM

Well, I didn't come up with it. My freind said that god beats devil, devil beats man, man beats god. His sign for man really pissed me off which is why I wanted nothing to do with it. What of these numerical assignments Mr. Cherub?

Rockin' Cherub · 08-17-2006, 05:01 PM

there was a guy
an under water guy who controlled the sea
got killed by ten million pounds of sludge
from new york and new jersey
this monkey's gone to heaven

the creature in the sky
got sucked in ahole
now there's a hole in the sky
and the ground's not cold
and if the ground's not cold
everything is gonna burn
we'll all take turns
i'll get mine, too
this monkey's gone to haven

rock me joe!

if man is 5 [3x]
then the devil is 6 [5x]
then god is 7 [3x]
this monkey's gone to heaven

Aeroplane · 08-17-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathoms (unadored)

man beats god

http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/blasphemy.jpg

Fathoms (unadored) · 08-17-2006, 05:05 PM

Intruiging. So the Pixies are responsible.

Fathoms (unadored) · 08-17-2006, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aeroplane

http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/blasphemy.jpg

Well the running theory is that it is through Man's blasphemy that he eradicates God's influence from this life... Or something, don't ask me. I guess theology is a little too hard to crunch inside a revised Rock Paper Scissors game.

Mo · 08-17-2006, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockin' Cherub

we always had a fourth one, fountain/well. it would beat all the other ones but only the cool kids were permitted to use it.

Heh, exactly the same here. There was even a fifth one, which I don't remember.
If I'm not wrong, Well could beat Rock and Scissors, but got beaten by Paper.

Aeroplane · 08-17-2006, 05:09 PM

we added a pencil. lame. but it worked.

Fathoms (unadored) · 08-17-2006, 05:11 PM

Grenade, Dam, River. That's it. Grenade takes out dam, does shit all against river. The damn beats river.

Rockin' Cherub · 08-17-2006, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the antipop

Heh, exactly the same here. There was even a fifth one, which I don't remember.
If I'm not wrong, Well could beat Rock and Scissors, but got beaten by Paper.

oo right. because paper would, like, cover the well or something and thus cause it to... decease

Mo · 08-17-2006, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockin' Cherub

oo right. because paper would, like, cover the well or something and thus cause it to... decease

Yes. And Rock and Scissors would drop into it.
http://www.tgs.co.jp/signlist/images/finger_o.gif

Izzle · 08-18-2006, 06:57 AM

wtf. everybody knows the winning move in rock paper scissors is tommy lee jones. you guys suck.

08-17-2006, 04:36 PM	#1
Fathoms (unadored) Apocalyptic Poster Location: Iceland Posts: 4,669	Here is why rock beats paper everytime... What is it that people do with rocks? Well, one answer is that rocks get thrown. It's fun, right? Well, what about paper. When someone asks you to hand over a piece of paper what do you naturally think they are going to do with it? Well, my guess would be they would write on it. It's a reasonable assumption. So why then in Rock Paper Scissors does paper always beat out rock? Shouldn't it be the other way around? After all, wrapping a paper around a rock is rather adverse in respect to papers natural function. Wheras it's greatly more concievable that one would throw a rock and said rock would bust through paper. Or at the very least you could use a rock to tear the paper up (rocks after all, do make great tools). The mechanics of the game would be all screwed up, but at least the objects would function more organically. You can't just say paper beats rock because you'd like it too. Reality doesn't have to conform to one's insistance on convienience. Bart Simpson has always been correct. __________________ thank you very much, for dying. I'll tell you more about it at the after party, when I'm done lying...

08-17-2006, 04:37 PM	#2
obscured01 Minion of Satan Location: DFW Tejas Posts: 9,693	Wow.

08-17-2006, 04:40 PM	#3
Rockin' Cherub Braindead Location: the amazing year 400 million Posts: 18,192	we always had a fourth one, fountain/well. it would beat all the other ones but only the cool kids were permitted to use it.

08-17-2006, 04:45 PM	#4
Fathoms (unadored) Apocalyptic Poster Location: Iceland Posts: 4,669	We tried coming up with a better one the other day but ultimately the results were lukewarm. We mused on the traditional Foot Cockroach Atom Bomb, then went to God Human Satan. There as also this other ingenious idea I came up with but it didn't take and now I can't remember it. The whole thing was all set in motion by the fact that someone had to press play on the DVD player. At first I was too lazy to play Rock Paper Scissors but was ultimately ousted in a best out of three game of Rock Paper. But then "play" needed pressing again and I just had to start a protest.

08-17-2006, 04:55 PM	#5
Rockin' Cherub Braindead Location: the amazing year 400 million Posts: 18,192	hm this god human satan game doesn't make much sense to me. after all, if man is five, then the devil is six etc.

08-17-2006, 04:58 PM	#6
Fathoms (unadored) Apocalyptic Poster Location: Iceland Posts: 4,669	Well, I didn't come up with it. My freind said that god beats devil, devil beats man, man beats god. His sign for man really pissed me off which is why I wanted nothing to do with it. What of these numerical assignments Mr. Cherub?

08-17-2006, 05:01 PM	#7
Rockin' Cherub Braindead Location: the amazing year 400 million Posts: 18,192	there was a guy an under water guy who controlled the sea got killed by ten million pounds of sludge from new york and new jersey this monkey's gone to heaven the creature in the sky got sucked in ahole now there's a hole in the sky and the ground's not cold and if the ground's not cold everything is gonna burn we'll all take turns i'll get mine, too this monkey's gone to haven rock me joe! if man is 5 [3x] then the devil is 6 [5x] then god is 7 [3x] this monkey's gone to heaven

08-17-2006, 05:05 PM	#9
Fathoms (unadored) Apocalyptic Poster Location: Iceland Posts: 4,669	Intruiging. So the Pixies are responsible.

08-17-2006, 05:09 PM	#12
Aeroplane Minion of Satan Location: fine. i must finally admit it: LA, CA Posts: 8,587	we added a pencil. lame. but it worked.

08-17-2006, 05:11 PM	#13
Fathoms (unadored) Apocalyptic Poster Location: Iceland Posts: 4,669	Grenade, Dam, River. That's it. Grenade takes out dam, does shit all against river. The damn beats river.

08-18-2006, 06:57 AM	#16
Izzle Banned Posts: 6,212	wtf. everybody knows the winning move in rock paper scissors is tommy lee jones. you guys suck.