I fall, you laugh.

Helena Handbasket · 08-07-2006, 07:35 PM

I was at Kroger on Thursday gathering the necessary items for dinner. I was making my way down the chips and party foods aisle, feeling good about life in general. I rounded the corner in front of the deli when suddenly my feet slide wildly out from under me. Before I can process what has happened, I'm on the floor in a puddle of water, groceries and purse contents strewn about. My first thought is "...pain!" soon followed by "wow, I hope I didn't fuck up my knee again." I stand up and attempt to gather my groceries and dignity. A nice lady asks if I'm okay, and then points out that the one "wet floor" sign is a good five feet from where the actual puddle is located. Mind you, this is no "the floor was just mopped" puddle, this is a "I stood up and realized my clothes are wet" puddle. Apparently, a malfunctioning cooler had been the reason for said puddle.

I somehow managed to get the rest of my groceries and headed back to Andy's.. by now I'm thinking I'm glad I didn't break a bone or hit my head, and am actually pretty thankful that for hitting the concrete floor so hard, I'm not really all that sore. I called mom and dad the next day to share my story, and dad was pretty pissed that I hadn't "reported" it. Well by the time I had gotten the rest of the shit I needed to get (which *******d milk and hamburger) and waited in line for a good ten minutes, I remembered I had Andy's set of keys, since he'd been driving his mom's car. He was supposed to be home soon and I started to think he may be locked out.. and then there's the fact that at the time I just didn't really want to make a big deal of it, and I just wanted to get out of there.

So, the next day I go and tell the woman in the "office" what happened. I told her I didn't think I was seriously injured or anything, I just figured I should "let them know". She said she couldn't find the proper forms, so had me leave a note explaining the "incident" to the manager, and he would surely call me first thing in the morning. He never did.

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-07-2006, 07:40 PM

i don't get people namedropping names in anecdotes without explaining who they are , like these are some kraaazy classic characters we're supposed to know. no one gives a fuck.

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-07-2006, 07:41 PM

seriously what was the point of the last two paragraphs of this story?

toyschoketoys · 08-07-2006, 07:41 PM

petrol bomb them

Helena Handbasket · 08-07-2006, 07:44 PM

ctrl v

aaand people who know me know who they are. besides, what should i say? "some dude"?

wHATcOLOR · 08-07-2006, 07:47 PM

whoooooooo caaaaaaaaaaaaaaares

Helena Handbasket · 08-07-2006, 07:47 PM

Someone will! Just you wait!

wHATcOLOR · 08-07-2006, 07:48 PM

"i fell down, i must report this!! i must file a report!! to commemorate this significant occasion!!"

Helena Handbasket · 08-07-2006, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big white horse hung

"i fell down, i must report this!! i must file a report!! to commemorate this significant occasion!!"

Yeah I didn't want to originally, but my dad yelled at me until I promised I'd do it. I guess I can get a some free x-rays out of it.

wHATcOLOR · 08-07-2006, 07:50 PM

how old are you, six years old? "my daddy told me to"

just take some pics of your fat ass iwth a webcame, same basic outcome and fewer people have to get involved

talk show host · 08-07-2006, 07:52 PM

That's some pretty vicious posting there J

Helena Handbasket · 08-07-2006, 07:53 PM

I just realized I said "get a some" and that doesn't make any sense. My bad.

wHATcOLOR · 08-07-2006, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by talk show host

That's some pretty vicious posting there J

helena's the exception to the rule for me. i "ride her hard" here because i actually wanna ride her hard

talk show host · 08-07-2006, 07:55 PM

It all becomes clear now. Enjoy the ride.

08-07-2006, 07:35 PM	#1
Helena Handbasket Apocalyptic Poster Location: grove street Posts: 4,265	I fall, you laugh. I was at Kroger on Thursday gathering the necessary items for dinner. I was making my way down the chips and party foods aisle, feeling good about life in general. I rounded the corner in front of the deli when suddenly my feet slide wildly out from under me. Before I can process what has happened, I'm on the floor in a puddle of water, groceries and purse contents strewn about. My first thought is "...pain!" soon followed by "wow, I hope I didn't fuck up my knee again." I stand up and attempt to gather my groceries and dignity. A nice lady asks if I'm okay, and then points out that the one "wet floor" sign is a good five feet from where the actual puddle is located. Mind you, this is no "the floor was just mopped" puddle, this is a "I stood up and realized my clothes are wet" puddle. Apparently, a malfunctioning cooler had been the reason for said puddle. I somehow managed to get the rest of my groceries and headed back to Andy's.. by now I'm thinking I'm glad I didn't break a bone or hit my head, and am actually pretty thankful that for hitting the concrete floor so hard, I'm not really all that sore. I called mom and dad the next day to share my story, and dad was pretty pissed that I hadn't "reported" it. Well by the time I had gotten the rest of the shit I needed to get (which *******d milk and hamburger) and waited in line for a good ten minutes, I remembered I had Andy's set of keys, since he'd been driving his mom's car. He was supposed to be home soon and I started to think he may be locked out.. and then there's the fact that at the time I just didn't really want to make a big deal of it, and I just wanted to get out of there. So, the next day I go and tell the woman in the "office" what happened. I told her I didn't think I was seriously injured or anything, I just figured I should "let them know". She said she couldn't find the proper forms, so had me leave a note explaining the "incident" to the manager, and he would surely call me first thing in the morning. He never did.

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08-07-2006, 07:40 PM	#2
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	i don't get people namedropping names in anecdotes without explaining who they are , like these are some kraaazy classic characters we're supposed to know. no one gives a fuck.

08-07-2006, 07:41 PM	#3
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	seriously what was the point of the last two paragraphs of this story?

08-07-2006, 07:41 PM	#4
toyschoketoys delete delete Location: The blank spot Posts: 5,823	petrol bomb them

08-07-2006, 07:44 PM	#5
Helena Handbasket Apocalyptic Poster Location: grove street Posts: 4,265	ctrl v aaand people who know me know who they are. besides, what should i say? "some dude"?

08-07-2006, 07:47 PM	#6
wHATcOLOR THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! Location: \|\| MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!! Posts: 46,831	whoooooooo caaaaaaaaaaaaaaares

08-07-2006, 07:48 PM	#8
wHATcOLOR THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! Location: \|\| MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!! Posts: 46,831	"i fell down, i must report this!! i must file a report!! to commemorate this significant occasion!!"

08-07-2006, 07:50 PM	#10
wHATcOLOR THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! Location: \|\| MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!! Posts: 46,831	how old are you, six years old? "my daddy told me to" just take some pics of your fat ass iwth a webcame, same basic outcome and fewer people have to get involved

08-07-2006, 07:52 PM	#11
talk show host Apocalyptic Poster Location: I thought using a condom was assumed but like, even if you didn't use one how would putting a vegetable in your pussy cause some sort of infection? Like, you can fucking EAT IT, but you can't put it in your fucking vagina and move it around a little Posts: 2,790	That's some pretty vicious posting there J

08-07-2006, 07:53 PM	#12
Helena Handbasket Apocalyptic Poster Location: grove street Posts: 4,265	I just realized I said "get a some" and that doesn't make any sense. My bad.

08-07-2006, 07:55 PM	#14
talk show host Apocalyptic Poster Location: I thought using a condom was assumed but like, even if you didn't use one how would putting a vegetable in your pussy cause some sort of infection? Like, you can fucking EAT IT, but you can't put it in your fucking vagina and move it around a little Posts: 2,790	It all becomes clear now. Enjoy the ride.