Double Standards For Bi People?

02-14-2002, 07:56 PM

There's a bisexual girl who usually hangs out with our group. At the last few parties, she has come-on to every one of the girls in the main group of people that hang with us. None of us has a problem with her sexuality, and I don't think she has made any of us the slightest bit uncomfortable. She was unsuccessful in her attempts, because none of us is bi...

Her attempts have not changed our opinions of her at all. We just kind of brush it off.
However, there's a GUY who sometimes comes to the parties, who has made a reputation for himself by flirting with most of the girls. He has made us all uncomfortable, and the general consensus amongst us is that he's a sleeze. None of us likes him anymore.

Is this fair to either of them? No.

I find it interesting that we aren't pissed off at the female for jumping from girl to girl. Thoughts?

02-14-2002, 08:00 PM

No way. There was this girl who lived in my hall last year, and she was really flirtacious with us and it made most of us pretty uncomfortable.

Just like a sleazy guy would have.

02-14-2002, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imploding_Poptart:
I find it interesting that we aren't pissed off at the female for jumping from girl to girl. Thoughts?

http://www.topthat.net/DWT/Photos/MT002.jpg
You're a dyke.

02-14-2002, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Meshach Taylor:
You're a dyke.

Actually, I was thinking maybe it's because none of us is interested in her in any way. It would make us less offended, somehow. (But then again, the guy is not attractive.)

And if I'm a dyke, why did I bother spending money on my boyfriend for Valentine's day? Fuck!

02-14-2002, 08:09 PM

Maybe you just don't like the guy as a person, and sexual orientation is irrelevant.

------------------
http://www.toolcity.net/~burt/images/ben2a.jpg
Sure, it was fun this morning in the shower when you punched me in the windpipe and took my candy cigarettes...
AIM: Mista Saki

02-14-2002, 08:13 PM

That's weird, it's usually the other way around. Straight girls get all freaked out by having a chick hitting on them, but don't think twice about a guy doing it, even if they aren't attracted to him either. It's awesome that you all feel comfortable around her. She's a lucky girl. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/smile.gif Hmm...Maybe it's just because she's one of your friends and so you're more inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt, whereas since none of you really like the guy, you'd rather he just leave you alone?

02-14-2002, 08:14 PM

Mamma said "guys who hit on everybody is sleezy." (She left out the part about girls hitting on everybody)
Culture tells you that the guy who hits on everybody is a sleezy bastard and you should all hate him because he's not pretty enough.
Culture kinda mumbles at you about "God hates fags" and "Gay rights" just leaving you to either pick a side or deal with it yourself although basically it's the same thing when a girl hits on everybody.
Both of them are kinda pathetic for having to hit on everyone.

Or it could just be that the guy was sleezy, and the girl was more subtle?

I wonder how brothels and hookers do on Valentine's Day...I'm guessing they're sore February 15....

02-14-2002, 08:15 PM

On the other hand, there's more to sleaziness than just trying your luck with people you're attracted to. It's always possible that he's just sleazy and she's not. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/tongue.gif

02-14-2002, 08:17 PM

Well, yeah, the guy is really unwanted...He's a bit creepy...I'm sure that does enter into it, too.

But I've seen some sorts of things happen like this before. I wish I could think of some examples.

02-14-2002, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Stupid&Contagious:
Culture tells you that the guy who hits on everybody is a sleezy bastard and you should all hate him because he's not pretty enough.
Culture kinda mumbles at you about "God hates fags" and "Gay rights"

*laughs* Yeah, there's hardly any sort of strong message about being gay in our culture, but God knows those sleazy guys, everybody hates them! http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/tongue.gif

02-14-2002, 08:21 PM

The thing is, she full-out comes-on to us, and he just flirts.

...Oh, and don't get me wrong. Even if he was an attractive guy, we wouldn't like it. It's not simply because he's not good-looking.

02-14-2002, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imploding_Poptart:
Well, yeah, the guy is really unwanted...He's a bit creepy...I'm sure that does enter into it, too.

But I've seen some sorts of things happen like this before. I wish I could think of some examples.

I don't think there's any correlation in the fact that the guy is creepy and that he's straight. Same with the bi girl. You're taking one person from each demographic. You can't make a judgement about hetero/homo/bisexuality based on one person.

That's like saying all gay people are pedophiles.

[This message has been edited by ****** (edited 02-14-2002).]

02-14-2002, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ******:
I think think there's any correlation in the fact that the guy is creepy and that he's straight. Same with the Bi girl. You're taking one person from each demographic. You can't make a judgement about hetero/homo/bisexuality based on one person.

That's like saying all gay people are pedophiles.

But Ms. Poptart has stated that even an attractive (seemingly any) guy would achive the same results. Either she's wrong in that assertion, or there is a double standard. (Or they really do welcome the advances of the girl)

02-14-2002, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ******:
I don't think there's any correlation in the fact that the guy is creepy and that he's straight. Same with the bi girl. You're taking one person from each demographic. You can't make a judgement about hetero/homo/bisexuality based on one person.

I know. That's why I'm asking for others' thoughts, wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar.

02-14-2002, 08:28 PM

maybe it's because you don't hear about girls raping anyone, and stuff.

------------------
daylight in existance/deadly nightshade
this is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.
aim - FallingNightSky

02-14-2002, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imploding_Poptart:
The thing is, she full-out comes-on to us, and he just flirts.

...Oh, and don't get me wrong. Even if he was an attractive guy, we wouldn't like it. It's not simply because he's not good-looking.

Hmm...maybe you just feel a little less threatened by the girl, because you know if at any point you get uncomfortable, you can just go, "Hey, I'm sorry, but I just don't like girls," and she'll have to be like "Okay." Whereas if you tell the guy, "Hey, I"m sorry, I just don't like ugly people," or even "Sorry, I'm not attracted to blondes (or whatever he is) it's probably much less likely he'll leave you alone.

I should stop using this thread to procrastinate and go write my damn essays...

02-14-2002, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by disarmed zero:
maybe it's because you don't hear about girls raping anyone, and stuff.

Maybe it's because girl can't rape anyone.

02-14-2002, 08:32 PM

Yeah, that makes lots of sense. You both touched on the same point... Maybe girls in general are just less threatening to me/my friends.

02-14-2002, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ******:
Maybe it's because girl can't rape anyone.

You wanna bet?

02-14-2002, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ******:
Maybe it's because girl can't rape anyone.

which is why you don't hear about it.

------------------
daylight in existance/deadly nightshade
this is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.
aim - FallingNightSky

02-14-2002, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imploding_Poptart:
You wanna bet?

Yes. And the rape cases you present must be of the penis-vagina nature.

02-14-2002, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ******:
Yes. And the rape cases you present must be of the penis-vagina nature.

heh.

Time for homework!

02-15-2002, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imploding_Poptart:

...Oh, and don't get me wrong. Even if he was an attractive guy, we wouldn't like it. It's not simply because he's not good-looking.

i'm really not sure i believe that.

02-16-2002, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The exploding boy:
i'm really not sure i believe that.

Trust me on that one...We're not a regular group of girls...

02-16-2002, 04:41 PM

i feel that if someone is bisexual OR homosexual, they should take into account that not everyone shares the same sexual orientation as them, and should be cautious who they "flirt" with. I think that if they know someone does not share their orientation, and they "come on to t**** anyways, they are trying to make you uncomfortable

either that or the guy made you uncomfortable because you know he takes it up the ass.

02-16-2002, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imploding_Poptart:
Trust me on that one...We're not a regular group of girls...

Still i persist in my non-sureness.

02-20-2002, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by meow:
i feel that if someone is bisexual OR homosexual, they should take into account that not everyone shares the same sexual orientation as them, and should be cautious who they "flirt" with. I think that if they know someone does not share their orientation, and they "come on to t**** anyways, they are trying to make you uncomfortable.

yeah! i know that personally, as a straight, i'm always cautious about who i "flirt" with. god forbid i "come on to" someone, without first checking to make sure that they were attracted to people of my particular gender, race, hair color, height range, and socio-economic status. i would *never* be so inconsiderate as to express interest in someone if i *knew* they weren't attracted to redheads. (unless, of course, i really wanted to make them uncomfortable. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/wink.gif) those damn queers should know their place.

02-20-2002, 06:26 PM

i'll suggest a double standard:

since the girl is bi, and since society, at least your open-minded youth society, preaches that it his hateful to discriminate people of separate sexual orientations, you feel that if you were to allow yourself to be annoyed or frustrated with this girl, society (your society) would label you homophobic, so you force yourself to accept it.

no such open-minded requirements occur in the situation of straight male-female relations.

in a way it's almost more descriminatory to put up with the girl but no thte guy--she's bi, she can't help it, all bi people are sex addicts, or something. i dunno.

02-20-2002, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa:
i'll suggest a double standard:

since the girl is bi, and since society, at least your open-minded youth society, preaches that it his hateful to discriminate people of separate sexual orientations, you feel that if you were to allow yourself to be annoyed or frustrated with this girl, society (your society) would label you homophobic, so you force yourself to accept it.

no such open-minded requirements occur in the situation of straight male-female relations.

in a way it's almost more descriminatory to put up with the girl but no thte guy--she's bi, she can't help it, all bi people are sex addicts, or something. i dunno.

02-20-2002, 06:30 PM

ps ammy your sig made me cry

02-14-2002, 07:56 PM	#1
Imploding_Poptart Posts: n/a	Double Standards For Bi People? There's a bisexual girl who usually hangs out with our group. At the last few parties, she has come-on to every one of the girls in the main group of people that hang with us. None of us has a problem with her sexuality, and I don't think she has made any of us the slightest bit uncomfortable. She was unsuccessful in her attempts, because none of us is bi... Her attempts have not changed our opinions of her at all. We just kind of brush it off. However, there's a GUY who sometimes comes to the parties, who has made a reputation for himself by flirting with most of the girls. He has made us all uncomfortable, and the general consensus amongst us is that he's a sleeze. None of us likes him anymore. Is this fair to either of them? No. I find it interesting that we aren't pissed off at the female for jumping from girl to girl. Thoughts?

02-14-2002, 08:00 PM	#2
Human Replica Droid Posts: n/a	No way. There was this girl who lived in my hall last year, and she was really flirtacious with us and it made most of us pretty uncomfortable. Just like a sleazy guy would have.

02-14-2002, 08:09 PM	#5
Ghetto_Squirrel Posts: n/a	Maybe you just don't like the guy as a person, and sexual orientation is irrelevant. ------------------ http://www.toolcity.net/~burt/images/ben2a.jpg Sure, it was fun this morning in the shower when you punched me in the windpipe and took my candy cigarettes... AIM: Mista Saki

02-14-2002, 08:13 PM	#6
Never_Nohen Posts: n/a	That's weird, it's usually the other way around. Straight girls get all freaked out by having a chick hitting on them, but don't think twice about a guy doing it, even if they aren't attracted to him either. It's awesome that you all feel comfortable around her. She's a lucky girl. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/smile.gif Hmm...Maybe it's just because she's one of your friends and so you're more inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt, whereas since none of you really like the guy, you'd rather he just leave you alone?

02-14-2002, 08:14 PM	#7
Stupid&Contagious Posts: n/a	Mamma said "guys who hit on everybody is sleezy." (She left out the part about girls hitting on everybody) Culture tells you that the guy who hits on everybody is a sleezy bastard and you should all hate him because he's not pretty enough. Culture kinda mumbles at you about "God hates fags" and "Gay rights" just leaving you to either pick a side or deal with it yourself although basically it's the same thing when a girl hits on everybody. Both of them are kinda pathetic for having to hit on everyone. Or it could just be that the guy was sleezy, and the girl was more subtle? I wonder how brothels and hookers do on Valentine's Day...I'm guessing they're sore February 15....

02-14-2002, 08:15 PM	#8
Never_Nohen Posts: n/a	On the other hand, there's more to sleaziness than just trying your luck with people you're attracted to. It's always possible that he's just sleazy and she's not. http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/tongue.gif

02-14-2002, 08:17 PM	#9
Imploding_Poptart Posts: n/a	Well, yeah, the guy is really unwanted...He's a bit creepy...I'm sure that does enter into it, too. But I've seen some sorts of things happen like this before. I wish I could think of some examples.

02-14-2002, 08:21 PM	#11
Imploding_Poptart Posts: n/a	The thing is, she full-out comes-on to us, and he just flirts. ...Oh, and don't get me wrong. Even if he was an attractive guy, we wouldn't like it. It's not simply because he's not good-looking.

02-14-2002, 08:28 PM	#15
disarmed zero Posts: n/a	maybe it's because you don't hear about girls raping anyone, and stuff. ------------------ daylight in existance/deadly nightshade this is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. aim - FallingNightSky

02-14-2002, 08:32 PM	#18
Imploding_Poptart Posts: n/a	Yeah, that makes lots of sense. You both touched on the same point... Maybe girls in general are just less threatening to me/my friends.

02-16-2002, 04:41 PM	#25
meow Posts: n/a	i feel that if someone is bisexual OR homosexual, they should take into account that not everyone shares the same sexual orientation as them, and should be cautious who they "flirt" with. I think that if they know someone does not share their orientation, and they "come on to t**** anyways, they are trying to make you uncomfortable either that or the guy made you uncomfortable because you know he takes it up the ass.

02-20-2002, 06:26 PM	#28
Samsa Posts: n/a	i'll suggest a double standard: since the girl is bi, and since society, at least your open-minded youth society, preaches that it his hateful to discriminate people of separate sexual orientations, you feel that if you were to allow yourself to be annoyed or frustrated with this girl, society (your society) would label you homophobic, so you force yourself to accept it. no such open-minded requirements occur in the situation of straight male-female relations. in a way it's almost more descriminatory to put up with the girl but no thte guy--she's bi, she can't help it, all bi people are sex addicts, or something. i dunno.

02-20-2002, 06:30 PM	#30
Samsa Posts: n/a	ps ammy your sig made me cry