listen to my song please, 3 minutes.

02-12-2003, 12:08 AM

http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/neyfak...ls.mp3&.src=bc

Thanks, any comments appreciated.

Irrelevant · 02-12-2003, 12:34 AM

i don't like it much.

it sounds amateurish, but not in an endearing way.

actually when the drum beat comes back in near the end, with the layers of the singing there for a little bit it actually works. it's the "hey!" sound right when it comes in that makes it cool.

Disarmed · 02-12-2003, 09:58 PM

the beat is a bit boring and dirge-like, but it's alright. some variation as the track goes on might help. at 0:39, when the distortion (more instruments?) comes in it sounds really terrible, and makes it reek of the amateur shlock that irrelevant mentioned. this might be a production issue, i don't know. I like the dynamic shift at 1:01 to a more melodic stripped down thing, but i think the vocal melody could become a bit more interesting (or involved) to play up how different it is to the half-asleep detachment of the vox in the rest of the song.

the song as a whole is simply mediocre. i do like how you at least attempted some dynamic range, but at the same time i'm left with the feeling that it doesn't do anything or go anywhere. i guess for me that indicates your changes are simply there to sound quirky and off kilter. overall, IMO, it's not a very good song, and you don't come off as a very good songwriter because of it. sorry...

02-12-2003, 12:08 AM	#1
Finsta Posts: n/a	listen to my song please, 3 minutes. http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/neyfak...ls.mp3&.src=bc Thanks, any comments appreciated.

02-12-2003, 12:34 AM	#2
Irrelevant Minion of Satan Location: kitties Posts: 6,842	i don't like it much. it sounds amateurish, but not in an endearing way. actually when the drum beat comes back in near the end, with the layers of the singing there for a little bit it actually works. it's the "hey!" sound right when it comes in that makes it cool.

02-12-2003, 09:58 PM	#3
Disarmed Pledge Location: seattle, wa Posts: 94	the beat is a bit boring and dirge-like, but it's alright. some variation as the track goes on might help. at 0:39, when the distortion (more instruments?) comes in it sounds really terrible, and makes it reek of the amateur shlock that irrelevant mentioned. this might be a production issue, i don't know. I like the dynamic shift at 1:01 to a more melodic stripped down thing, but i think the vocal melody could become a bit more interesting (or involved) to play up how different it is to the half-asleep detachment of the vox in the rest of the song. the song as a whole is simply mediocre. i do like how you at least attempted some dynamic range, but at the same time i'm left with the feeling that it doesn't do anything or go anywhere. i guess for me that indicates your changes are simply there to sound quirky and off kilter. overall, IMO, it's not a very good song, and you don't come off as a very good songwriter because of it. sorry...