one of my best friends wrote this poem for this guy she was randomly fucking...

[jenn]

there once was a boy named dan tanenbaum
he met a girl veronica and followed her around
on a lonely horny day, they hooked up in a practice room
veronicas orgasm was so powerful, it created a sonic boom
one day veronica got drunk and wrote a poem she'd later regret
but that didn't matter, because her area would still be wet
by a guy who might come around and give her a call
because she still has faith he may grow a ball
she wants him to know that she cares
even though she knows he'd rather fight bears
than see her ever again
let alone keep her as a friend
after awhile nothing matters
when you drink 4 beers and eat 2 batters
of cookie dough with 2 girls from high school
who laugh at your idiocy and at you being a complete fool
but life is too short to give a fuck
especially when you haven't been laid in 2 months and you feel out of luck
so in closing all i have to say
is not to really pay attention to anything you've read today
from me because i'm in another land
taken there by a beverage in my hand
all this stuff doesn't bother veronica at all
because people think i'm hot and want to fuck me against the wall
i know this because i now get approached in public places
by men with beautiful, semi-okay, and ugly faces
but in the end i'll probably get off to you
because for some reason this is true
i liked having sex with dan
because he is the man with the master plan
i really don't mind if i never hear from him again
because one day i'll find someone better and then
i will have consistent sex and never have to worry
and i'll never write a poem and watch the words get really blurry
then have to ask my friend to proof read what i write
because i can't type clearly without any light
and as the alcohol seeps into my cerebral cortex
i feel my emotions spin in a vortex
i hope dan doesn't think i'm a loser
because i'm in a social rut and turning into a booser
however feel free to drop a line one day
i promise i won't yell or scream or run away
my thoughts might be a little weird or become a little misdirect
but they won't be for much longer because i have self respect
meaning i probably won't randomly hook up with you anymore
because i don't want you to think i'm your whore
because one day i could get a VD or the clap
and you'll be off somewhere doing your rap
career that'll take over your life and your time
while i'm sitting somewhere with a corana and lime
but i won't let that get me down
because in the end, you'll be the clown
for missing out on having a great girl
who can give great head and converse better than a harvard pearl
this poem is really all in jest
and i actually wish you all the best
i'm just kidding when i type
that i'm so great and all the hype
i called you a few times, but i never had anything to say
i've just been bored and needed to pass time away
i hope you had fun reading this
my two friends did, we're laughing in bliss
i'd like you to know that dan tanenbaum is my friend
and i hope one day the silence will end

love,
veronica

[Nimrod's Son]

Not only is she a horrible poet, she's also a complete psychopath

[jenn]

Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Not only is she a horrible poet, she's also a complete psychopath

she was drunk off her ass.

and yes, she'a complete psychopath <3

[mistle]

lol your friend must be really amazing. i'm just gonna go read it again

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally posted by mistle
lol your friend must be really amazing. i'm just gonna go read it again

If I got a letter like that from some random chick i'd slept with I would move and get a restraining order

[jenn]

Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
If I got a letter like that from some random chick i'd slept with I would move and get a restraining order

no no no...she's not sending it

[Isle]

that's a fantastic poem.

[GlasgowKiss]

Can i get the Cliff Notes for this poem plz.

[alexthestampede]

lol thats awesome.

[Sepiae]

Originally posted by melancholia

but life is too short to give a fuck
especially when you haven't been laid in 2 months and you feel out of luck

Psshht! 2 months is nothing!

[noir cat]

That was so good, especially for being drunk?!

[gpub]

she hasn't gotten laid in 2 months? Hmmm wonder why

[GlasgowKiss]

Why do people feel the world owes them sex and love?

[AndySlash]

Originally posted by melancholia

so in closing all i have to say
is not to really pay attention to anything you've read today
from me because i'm in another land
taken there by a beverage in my hand
all this stuff doesn't bother veronica at all
because people think i'm hot and want to fuck me against the wall
i know this because i now get approached in public places
by men with beautiful, semi-okay, and ugly faces
but in the end i'll probably get off to you
because for some reason this is true
i liked having sex with dan
because he is the man with the master plan
i really don't mind if i never hear from him again
because one day i'll find someone better and then
i will have consistent sex and never have to worry
and i'll never write a poem and watch the words get really blurry
then have to ask my friend to proof read what i write
because i can't type clearly without any light
and as the alcohol seeps into my cerebral cortex
i feel my emotions spin in a vortex
i hope dan doesn't think i'm a loser
because i'm in a social rut and turning into a booser
however feel free to drop a line one day
i promise i won't yell or scream or run away
my thoughts might be a little weird or become a little misdirect
but they won't be for much longer because i have self respect
meaning i probably won't randomly hook up with you anymore
because i don't want you to think i'm your whore
because one day i could get a VD or the clap
and you'll be off somewhere doing your rap
career that'll take over your life and your time
while i'm sitting somewhere with a corana and lime
but i won't let that get me down
because in the end, you'll be the clown
for missing out on having a great girl
who can give great head and converse better than a harvard pearl
this poem is really all in jest
and i actually wish you all the best
i'm just kidding when i type
that i'm so great and all the hype
i called you a few times, but i never had anything to say
i've just been bored and needed to pass time away
i hope you had fun reading this
my two friends did, we're laughing in bliss
i'd like you to know that dan tanenbaum is my friend
and i hope one day the silence will end

lollers