when you realize you have no interest in really seeing your high school friends anymo

[Samsa]

re

very sad i gues. i dunno. i went to pizza and then to some other place with all these people. it was just kinda ho hum. i literally just sat there twiddling my thumbs. it was nice sorta closure i guess. i don't hate them really it's just like "eh". they're going in their direction and i'm going in mine. some of them it sorta makes me sad about :-/ well just one girl in particular i can't decide if she's turned into a major bitch or if i still have feelings for her she left though like right after pizza i was like :'( cuz damn. but yeah.

[Samsa]

i feel so...anticipatory.

i'm gonna take a shower now (even though i took one at like 4??? )

but then it's gonna be so wonderful. i'm gonna make popcorn and i'm gonna put butter and brewer's yeast and cayenne pepper on it. and i'm gonna turn the heat on in the den. and i'm gonna drink this apple brew (you know, by that jamaican company that makes the ginger beer so the apple whatever it's called is pretty gingery too o rsomething). yeah. an di'm gonna watch another bunuel movie i don't u.. i have different standsards for movies. i can't explain. well not than ALL people but i guess most notably from my sister. like my sister said "oh what is that movie about?" and i said "it's about a group of people who go to a dinner party and can't leave" and she said "WHY do you like those kinds of movies?" and i can't explain. i guess i like movies that are refractions of reality i dunno. i mean i'll basically watch anything and more or less like it but i have pretty high standards when it comes to what i rent. i can't explain it. mhm.

[Ghetto_Squirrel]

The one group of friends I've been a part of since 7th grade is really boring me now. It's not that they're awful people, but the differences between rest of the group and me is becoming really apparent. They're not in any of my classes because they don't get good enough grades, they're generally uninterested in what I would consider fun, they're into anime and things which I am not. Blah.

The people who are in my classes and I do spend time with I'm really appreciating enormously. They're all such interesting people, and we've grown much closer as a unit over the past couple years. I'm kind of afraid and disheartened that the peak of all of our friendships will coincide with everyone's departures to college.

[jenny4ever]

i take too many showers(and baths). i love to feel clean. but its terrible because it makes my skin so dry especially in the winter. and i always like them reallyreally hot so when i get out it feels good and i dont freeze to death.

i just bought a pretty bra at target . . . its hardly a bra though. its sort of a sports bra but its just like a band with spagetti straps. i like it. its purple with flowers. underwear makes me happy

[Samsa]

like yeah. my sister only likes movies that are logical or something. i mean she liked mulholland drive she's not THAT stikc-in-the-mud but i guess she likes to have her characters have 3 dimensions and have sort of discernible motivations when i don't really care

haa ha my mom just showed me these clothes she bought today they were nice. pretty expensive though. well she got everything 20% off she says. she bought these sort of soft kinda thin flowy black pants for 20% off 40 dollars what the fuck? what is that. 32 dollars for a pair of black pants? actually that's not so bad. most notably was this like jacket (by jacket i mean blazer or whatever the fuck you call those thigns) which she got for 20% off of 69.99 or some shit. whatever mommy she likes them cuz they are pretty yet machine washable (actuallyu i don't think thatthing was). she said she knew i'd appreciate what she got cuz it looks like something i'd wear it does sort of heh. except the black flowy pants are a little toof lowy for me. today i am wearing stuff i got at marshall's a week or two ago. wonderful nike pants made out of, i don't know how to describe it. they're sorta man-lookin pants like man khakis except they're dark blue and uhh they're made out of this sort of jacket material. and i'm weaaaring this beaaaautiful baby yellow sweater that snaps up that i got at marshall's for 3 bucks wow. it's missing its top button whoc ares. it's made out of a baby material too. you know what you make baby clothes out of? that thick sorta soft fluffy material? yeah i found it in the activewear section too. i love activewear clolthes and pajama clothes. my two favourite sections. i think i may be turning girly though. i've started to salivate at high-heeled shoes and pretty purses. and there's always bene jewelry.

[The Last Laugh]

i'm not saying this to be an asshole or anything, i'm not one of them samsa haters... but like, you had friends in high school?

[Samsa]

Originally posted by Ghetto_Squirrel
The one group of friends I've been a part of since 7th grade is really boring me now. It's not that they're awful people, but the differences between rest of the group and me is becoming really apparent. They're not in any of my classes because they don't get good enough grades, they're generally uninterested in what I would consider fun, they're into anime and things which I am not. Blah.

The people who are in my classes and I do spend time with I'm really appreciating enormously. They're all such interesting people, and we've grown much closer as a unit over the past couple years. I'm kind of afraid and disheartened that the peak of all of our friendships will coincide with everyone's departures to college.

yeah these people, ir eally wasn't even very good friends with them at all during high school. at least not until the end of junior year even. these particular people are the people you speek of in your second paragraph. they were in all my classes (it was like the stupid 'honors kids' clique or whatever) pretty interesting people except sort of annoyingly self-consciously samrt or something, well not all of them. a couple of them are so geeky and all they can talk about is cute lord of the rings characters you know. ugh. i mean i have problems. i can't describe it. i guess the one girl that i sort of like the most she wasn't there, she was someone totally different but i sort of like her the best i don't even know why...i think it's because one time i gave her a ride somewhere and aphex twin was playing and she said "i like this music" it made my heart sing. she sort of irritates me sometimes like ughh. she talks and talks and talks about her little 3-yr old cousin and i just want to go SHHH sometimes. oh i haven't seen her in forever though yeah not since...august? i don't even know if i'd call her my closest friend there was a period of time where she was really bothering me cuz she'd come out to lunch and sit with me and i'd have to devote my entire concnetration to her for the full 35 minutes and tha'ts just too much to concentrate on on my part. but she eventually found someone she liked better (a korean). it was so cute one time she came out with this girl and she introduced me to her and then she said "she's korean " ahh ha ha. yeah. cuz i remember when we were juniors she had these senior friends that she hung out with and liked a lot cuz they were chinese and i guess she had an affinity with them, but then they graduated and i guess she was stuck with poor american me until she found new people. i didn't mind i was relieved yeah maybe i'm just asocial. who knows. what the fuck am i blabbing about?

[Samsa]

Originally posted by The Last Laugh
i'm not saying this to be an asshole or anything, i'm not one of them samsa haters... but like, you had friends in high school?

i've said i tonce i've said it a thousand times, i tdepends on what you define as a 'friend'.

[Samsa]

Originally posted by jenny4ever
i take too many showers(and baths). i love to feel clean. but its terrible because it makes my skin so dry especially in the winter. and i always like them reallyreally hot so when i get out it feels good and i dont freeze to death.

i just bought a pretty bra at target . . . its hardly a bra though. its sort of a sports bra but its just like a band with spagetti straps. i like it. its purple with flowers. underwear makes me happy

yeah underwear makes me hap py too. i'm wearing my festive sexy underwear today it really is sexy. even on me ahh h a ha. yeah i'm not takin it off

[mirrar]

i have no interest in hanging out with anyone from high school that i haven't seen in a while.. i just have nothing to say to them anymore.

[Samsa]

oh i remember why i like that girl so much. it's cuz she was hungry and i took her to macdonalds but there were these teenagers in line and she said "can we sit down for a couple minutes?" cuz she was scared of them! it made me happy cuz i sort of consciously or unconsciously had the same feeling of dread when i thought i was gonna have to stand in line behind them. i don't even know why i'm not generally scared of people.

[Samsa]

oh and she's cool too! like youw ouldn't expect it from her cuz she you know, she doesn't dress like a hipster or anything. ir emember i was in summer gym with her and she wore spandex but like, she gave me this cool candle holder for the holidays and this pretty bracelet for my birthday, they were just cool! i can't explain. and she liked aphex twin that was playing! i dunno i don't generally find people i can have an affinity with so when it happens i just go you know. i can't explain *sigh*.

[jenny4ever]

Originally posted by Samsa


yeah underwear makes me hap py too. i'm wearing my festive sexy underwear today it really is sexy. even on me ahh h a ha. yeah i'm not takin it off

i never wear sexy underwear or sexy bras. i like kids underwear best. cotton underwear are so comfy. but cute underwear is fun. my mom put some pretty underwear in my stocking this year

[Samsa]

well by sexy i mean boy shorts of course. i just call them sexy cuz i like the way they make my ass look they're real short. my other two pairs of boy shorts are longer. one totally covers my ass and the other one barely covers it. this one covers it halfway

[jenny4ever]

Originally posted by Samsa
well by sexy i mean boy shorts of course. i just call them sexy cuz i like the way they make my ass look they're real short. my other two pairs of boy shorts are longer. one totally covers my ass and the other one barely covers it. this one covers it halfway

boy shorts make me look like a cow cause i have a ghetto booty

[noir cat]

It makes me sad that I can't keep in contact with my high school friends anymore. Not that I had great high school friends or anything, but at times I had fun... there was this one girl I especially had a crush on, but she's too flighty. And there is also that drifting apart factor, which I kind of knew would happen, but I hoped it wouldn't. I gladly entered high school with no attatchments to any of my middle school friends, I was eager to have a new begining. But my community college doesn't have the type of people I would like to hang out/get to know. It's also a commuter school, in that people normally DON'T hang out/get to know other people (unless they're losers, heh).

I also hate to admit it, but I'm somewhat of an intellectual snob. Even though I'm not smart, I appreciate intellect when I come across it, although I hate those really snooty assholes who think they're better than everyone...

Also, it's rare that I can find someone I can relate to, and not only relate, but be in a friendship that both parts are equal in the giving and recieving whether it be presents or secrets. In fact, there should be no secrets. Which is why there are only two people that I've met in my life that intensely matters me to, which are my best friend and my s/o.

And I feel with my best friend is I am more devoted to her than she will ever be to me. It is somewhat like that with my bf, but less so. He's pretty devoted, but I feel like I'm more dependant on him, and that maybe I love him with more intensity than he loves me...

It just happens that when I form a friendship with someone that really matters to me, I give it my all, and I don't think I have found anyone that is like that... giving it their all, I mean. I guess I'm just picky or something. :\

Oh, and Suze, I always wonder that if under different circumstances if you'd be a good friend of mine or whatever. You, and Desire and Shannon and Shaunna...

I haven't been around any chick friends for a while. :/

[sawdust restaurants]

Originally posted by undivinemartyr
And I feel with my best friend is I am more devoted to her than she will ever be to me. It is somewhat like that with my bf, but less so. He's pretty devoted, but I feel like I'm more dependant on him, and that maybe I love him with more intensity than he loves me...

This might not be my place, but since you brought it up: it's really not healthy to be that attached to somebody. Maybe what you perceive to be their lack of interest or intensity in the relationship is really just them not really being needy on you but the reverse isn't true? That can get ugly. Be careful. :-/

[SuckSuckStyle]

I feel the same way about a few of my friends. there's about five that i'm really going to miss when i go to college. I get really scared thinking about not seeing my best friend anymore. She's going to school on the east coast and we'll have totally different lives. we've been friends since we were little, she's my left arm.

[noir cat]

Originally posted by sawdust restaurants


This might not be my place, but since you brought it up: it's really not healthy to be that attached to somebody. Maybe what you perceive to be their lack of interest or intensity in the relationship is really just them not really being needy on you but the reverse isn't true? That can get ugly. Be careful. :-/

No, no. I'm just REALLY clingy.
I know he'll never cheat on me, I dunno... :\
99% sure. : )
By his actions, I can precieve that he is a really caring person, but he can also be a really busy person and his parents and friends also place demands on him, and he gets all tired and he has this thing where he wants "alone time" even if it's only a day, and I have this thing where I want to LIVE with him and be MARRIED to him (I won't go so far as to say I want his babies, but I know he wants children so I'm all like ummmm. :erm Okay, but only if they drug me up so that I won't feel anything and I will continue not feeling anything for the next two weeks and then maybe some LSD, mhm).

Oh, and I know being dependant is bad and unhealthy but it's not something I can HELP due to my TERRIBLE upbringing and I have a TERRIBLE family, so it's just a personality flaw and nothing I can help (I mean I try, but whatever). I just can't help the way I feel or the way I am. :\

[andysong]

I am starting to feel the same samsa; being with my friends just doesn't seem to satisfy me socially, it has actually become enough to make me withdraw -almost completely- from the once gratifying weekly outing.

My advice to you is have some time to yourself, after a while you will miss going out and just slip back into the regime. If withdrawl from social outings doesn't create a strong enough longing in you then i would say that you may truly be over these people... in which case its probably time to meet some new people, preferably ones who share you interests/tastes.

[Samsa]

oh man that movie the exterminating angel rocked. lemme go hm hm hm. i tdidn't rock as much as le charme discret de la bourgeoisie but it was pretty cool.

and uhh no i have been a homebody all winter break i just enjoy watching tv so it's not an overdose of socialization. i just don't really have anything to say to those people anymore. i never really did before really either though. lol. maybe nothing's changed. i do feel closer to the ones that ended up going to school with me but the other ones actually this one girl has gained my deep respect just by the way she scrunches up her nose when she thinks something is funny. she's such a mom.

[Samsa]

THE EXTERMINATING ANGEL
BY ROGER EBERT


The dinner guests arrive twice. They ascend the stairs and walk through the wide doorway, and then they arrive again--the same guests, seen from a higher camera angle. This is a joke and soon we will understand the punch line: The guests, having so thoroughly arrived, are incapable of leaving.

Luis Bunuel's ``The Exterminating Angel'' (1962) is a macabre comedy, a mordant view of human nature that suggests we harbor savage instincts and unspeakable secrets. Take a group of prosperous dinner guests and pen them up long enough, he suggests, and they'll turn on one another like rats in an overpopulation study.

Bunuel begins with small, alarming portents. The cook and the servants suddenly put on their coats and escape, just as the dinner guests are arriving. The hostess is furious; she planned an after-dinner entertainment involving a bear and two sheep. Now it will have to be canceled. It is typical of Bunuel that such surrealistic touches are dropped in without comment.

The dinner party is a success. The guests whisper slanders about each other, their eyes playing across the faces of their fellow guests with greed, lust and envy. After dinner, they stroll into the drawing room, where we glimpse a woman's purse, filled with chicken feathers and rooster claws. A doctor predicts that one of the women will be bald within a week. But the broader outlines of the gathering seem normal enough: Drinks are passed, the piano is played, everyone looks elegant in dinner dress.

Then, in a series of subtle developments, it becomes apparent that no one can leave. They make preliminary gestures. They drift toward the hallway. There is nothing to stop them. But they cannot leave. They never exactly state that fact; there is an unspoken, rueful acceptance of the situation, as they make themselves comfortable on sofas and rugs.

This is a brilliant opening for an insidious movie. The tone is low key, but so many sinister details have accumulated that by the time the guests settle down for the night, Bunuel has us wrapped in his spell.

He was the most iconoclastic and individual of directors, a Spaniard who drifted into the orbit of the surrealists in Paris, who for many years directed the Spanish dubs for Hollywood films, whose greatest work was done between the ages of 60 and 77. His first film, ``Un Chien Andalou'' (1928), co-directed by Salvador Dali, caused an uproar (he filled his pockets with stones, he wrote in his autobiography, so he would have something to throw if the audience attacked him). It contained one of the most famous images in cinema, of a cloud cutting across the face of the moon, paired with a razor blade slicing an eyeball.

After that film, he made the scandalous and long-repressed ``L'Age d'Or'' and the scabrous documentary ``Land Without Bread,'' shot in the poorest corner of Spain. Bunuel didn't direct another film until he became an exile in Mexico in the late 1940s. There he made both commercial and personal projects, almost all of them displaying his obsessions. An enemy of Franco's Spain, he was anti-fascist, anti-clerical and anti-bourgeois. He also had a sly streak of foot fetishism (``That was a wonderful afternoon little Luis spent on the floor of his mother's closet when he was 12,'' Pauline Kael once said, ``and he's been sharing it with us ever since.'').

His firmest conviction was that most people were hypocrites--the sanctimonious and comfortable most of all. He also had a streak of nihilism; in one film, a Christ figure, saddened by the sight of a dog tied to a wagon spoke and too tired to keep up, buys the dog to free it. As he does, another dog tied to another wagon limps past unnoticed in the **********.

By the time he came to make ``The Exterminating Angel'' in 1962, Bunuel's career was on its delayed upswing. He had made a great international hit, ``Viridiana,'' in 1960; it won many festival prizes and represented his return to Spain after decades overseas. But its central image--a scandalous tableau re-creating the Last Supper--displeased the Spanish censors, and he was back in Mexico again and primed for bitter satire when he made ``The Exterminating Angel.''

Obviously, the dinner guests represent the ruling class in Franco's Spain. Having set a banquet table for themselves by defeating the workers in the Spanish Civil War, they sit down for a feast, only to find it never ends. They're trapped in their own bourgeois cul-de-sac. Increasingly resentful at being shut off from the world outside, they grow mean and restless; their worst tendencies are revealed.

Of course, Bunuel never made his political symbolism that blatant. ``The Exterminating Angel'' plays as a deadpan comedy about the unusual adventures of his dinner guests. Hours lengthen into days, and their dilemma takes on a ritualistic quality--it seems like the natural state of things. The characters pace in front of the open door. There is an invisible line they cannot cross. One guest says to another, ``Wouldn't it be a good joke if I sneaked up and pushed you out?'' The other says: ``Try it, and I'll kill you.'' Soldiers are ordered to enter the house, but cannot. A child runs boldly toward the house, and scampers away again. Whatever inhibits the guests inhibits their rescuers.

Conditions deteriorate. Guests snatch an ax from the wall and break through plaster to open a pipe for drinking water. Two lovers kill themselves. The bodies are stacked in a closet. There are whiffs of black magic. The sheep wander into the room, are killed and cooked on a fire made from broken furniture; so close to civilization is the cave.

Bunuel belongs to a group of great directors who obsessively reworked the themes that haunted them. There is little stylistically to link Ozu, Hitchcock, Herzog, Bergman, Fassbinder or Bunuel, except for this common thread: Some deep wound or hunger was imprinted on them early in life, and they worked all of their careers to heal or cherish it. Bunuel was born in 1900, so the dates of his films correspond to the years of his life. He had the most remarkable late flowering in movie history. His Mexican films of the 1940s and '50s are often inspired--especially ``Los Olvidados'' (1950) and ``The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz'' and ``El'' (both 1955). ``Viridiana'' was his international comeback, and then came ``The Exterminating Angel,'' which he said might be his last film--but the curtain was just rising on the great days of his career. His most famous film, ``Belle de Jour'' (1967), won the grand prize at Venice. It starred Catherine Deneuve as a respectable Parisian housewife who becomes fascinated by a famous bordello and finds herself working there two or three afternoons a week.

At the prize ceremony at Venice, Bunuel again announced his retirement. Not quite. In 1970, he starred Deneuve again, in ``Tristana,'' a morbid romance between an aging pederast and the woman he adopts, mistreats and loses. After her leg is amputated, she returns to him for support, and revenge.

Then came three great films in which Bunuel's talent flowed in a great liberated stream of wicked satire and cheerful obsession. ``The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie'' (1972), which won the Oscar as best foreign film, is a reversal of ``Exterminating Angel.'' This time dinner guests are forever sitting down to a feast, but repeatedly frustrated in their desire to eat. Then came ``The Phantom of Liberty'' (1974), a free-form film that began with one group of characters, then followed another, and another. His last film was ``That Obscure Object of Desire'' (1977), about an aging man who believes one woman and no other can satisfy his desires; Bunuel had the woman played interchangeably by two different actresses.

Bunuel died in 1983, leaving behind a wonderful autobiography in which he said the worst thing about death was that he would not be able to read tomorrow's newspaper. He created a world so particular, it is impossible to watch any Bunuel film for very long without knowing who its director was. ``The Exterminating Angel'' begins with the statement, ``The best explanation of this film is that, from the standpoint of pure reason, there is no explanation.'' He might have added, ``Those seeking reason or explanations are in the wrong theater.''

[Skye]

I dont talk to ANYONE that i went to high school with. I saw some people at a funeral a few months ago, but I am really lazy and i dont feel like contacting people just to get myself into some annoying get together where I wont have fun at all.

[Junebug]

Originally posted by SuckSuckStyle
I feel the same way about a few of my friends. there's about five that i'm really going to miss when i go to college. I get really scared thinking about not seeing my best friend anymore. She's going to school on the east coast and we'll have totally different lives. we've been friends since we were little, she's my left arm.

I was the exact same way. Last year just thinking about the fact that we were going to leave each other (there is a group of 7 of us that have been best friends since elementary) made me cry. But it's been a lot better than i thought it would be. We're all home for Christmas break and it's just like old times. We can't talk about the same teachers and stuff, but when we're together it's just like it was a year ago. Just make sure you CALL your friend(s) and talk to them.

[Amazing Disgrace]

SILLY SUZE!!! U HAD NO FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!! WHO ARE U TRYING TO FOOL?