So it's another year another year and another year.

noir cat · 01-02-2003, 08:36 PM

I'm ever closer to dying, ever closer to growing old and getting gray hair. (Although with my genes, I'll probably be bald or something).

The only semigood thing is that I'll finally be 21 in four months, but that's still just an empty gesture granted by time and won't quench that longing to be able start my life over again, or to never have been born.

The passing of time just makes me realize what a big nothing I am in contrast to everything else.

jenny4ever · 01-02-2003, 08:37 PM

twice · 01-02-2003, 08:38 PM

nonono...you've got it all wrong, see....everything is nothing.

Smiley33 · 01-02-2003, 08:41 PM

so nothing is everything? AHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT

oh god

adfojkladjadklsjv9 458i9ardadkfjkladjf

noir cat · 08:57 PM

Daniel: :-/ yeah, i think about stuff like that all the time.. i think i've thought about it so much, that i'm kind of immune to it now.

somebitch: BEFORE I DRIFTED OFF INTO MY NAP THIS AFTERNOON. I was just thinking about how OPPRESSED I was and I was thinking just maybe if my parents let me do what I wanted (because in the end, I always know what is best for me unless I'm misinformed or due to my lack of experience), if they let me made my own mistakes, would I still be as I am now or stronger, or would I have been more of a weaker personality? Now I'll never know AND I HATE THEM FOR THAT.

Daniel: yesterday i was just sitting thinking, and i was like 'hm, yes, i think i'm glad to be alive'.. for the first time.

somebitch: I kind of am glad that I'm alive, kind of sort of, but I wouldn't have to be thinking about this, be YEARNING and have WANTING and be human if I never experienced it in the first place.

somebitch: And I"m also angry because I wanted so little (or so I thought then and I still kind of do) in comparison to other kids. I was... I want to think that I was more sympathetic and I was more... something. If only I had someone I could REALLY have talked to, to expressed myself to. Someone who would have taught me things so that I didn't have to grow up so... dependant and ignorant and unknowledgeable.

bitch: Hm. I could go on.

Daniel: yeah, that's the paradox. but it's weird.. just the mere fact that you now have the power to make a small difference, even if you'd be otherwise unaware of any life, it's still a difference. kind of like a place in the space time continuem, or merely just dust in the never-ending cycle.. it's still a place. somehow i think that has some quality. more plant food. ;)

Edit: Oh god, I hate. Burning burning hate.

01-02-2003, 08:36 PM	#1
noir cat Socialphobic Location: Hicksville, NY Posts: 11,699	So it's another year another year and another year. I'm ever closer to dying, ever closer to growing old and getting gray hair. (Although with my genes, I'll probably be bald or something). The only semigood thing is that I'll finally be 21 in four months, but that's still just an empty gesture granted by time and won't quench that longing to be able start my life over again, or to never have been born. The passing of time just makes me realize what a big nothing I am in contrast to everything else. __________________ This time i kept watch of the tub to make sure the goldfish would not commit suicide, for, no matter how mad it was at life or at god or at its life partner, there was no way i was going to be on call when it finally managed to take its own life. -- M.

01-02-2003, 08:51 PM	#5
noir cat Socialphobic Location: Hicksville, NY Posts: 11,699	Maybe he really was an angel in one of his lifetimes or symbolic of a good lifeforce. Daniel: :-/ yeah, i think about stuff like that all the time.. i think i've thought about it so much, that i'm kind of immune to it now. somebitch: BEFORE I DRIFTED OFF INTO MY NAP THIS AFTERNOON. I was just thinking about how OPPRESSED I was and I was thinking just maybe if my parents let me do what I wanted (because in the end, I always know what is best for me unless I'm misinformed or due to my lack of experience), if they let me made my own mistakes, would I still be as I am now or stronger, or would I have been more of a weaker personality? Now I'll never know AND I HATE THEM FOR THAT. Daniel: yesterday i was just sitting thinking, and i was like 'hm, yes, i think i'm glad to be alive'.. for the first time. somebitch: I kind of am glad that I'm alive, kind of sort of, but I wouldn't have to be thinking about this, be YEARNING and have WANTING and be human if I never experienced it in the first place. somebitch: And I"m also angry because I wanted so little (or so I thought then and I still kind of do) in comparison to other kids. I was... I want to think that I was more sympathetic and I was more... something. If only I had someone I could REALLY have talked to, to expressed myself to. Someone who would have taught me things so that I didn't have to grow up so... dependant and ignorant and unknowledgeable. bitch: Hm. I could go on. Daniel: yeah, that's the paradox. but it's weird.. just the mere fact that you now have the power to make a small difference, even if you'd be otherwise unaware of any life, it's still a difference. kind of like a place in the space time continuem, or merely just dust in the never-ending cycle.. it's still a place. somehow i think that has some quality. more plant food. ;) Edit: Oh god, I hate. Burning burning hate. Last edited by noir cat : 01-02-2003 at 08:57 PM.

01-02-2003, 08:37 PM	#2
jenny4ever Apocalyptic Poster Location: Boone, NC Posts: 1,026

01-02-2003, 08:38 PM	#3
twice Socialphobic Location: kitty in the middle Posts: 10,183	nonono...you've got it all wrong, see....everything is nothing.

01-02-2003, 08:41 PM	#4
Smiley33 Minion of Satan Posts: 6,542	so nothing is everything? AHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT oh god adfojkladjadklsjv9 458i9ardadkfjkladjf