very very simple poll about ethics

bonsor · 12:53 PM

Friend likes girl. Girl doesn't like friend. Friend persists, despite knowing he has no chance. I also like girl. I am fighting ethical battle against self trying to choose.

that's it in a nutshell. She's possibly the coolest girl I've met in a really long time, and I'd really like to get to know her better, though this would probably upset my friend, who is being posessive over a girl he's not even in a relationship with.

vote. comment.

mpp · 01-01-2003, 01:03 PM

it comes down to who you care about more

usually for me it's the girl but maybe that's why my friends hate me

just joking (in a way)

Fish · 01-01-2003, 01:05 PM

It's a hard choice man. In my "friendship group" at the moment, one of my friends John is getting very close to a girl who hangs with us called Sophie. The problem is that my best friend Chris has fancied Sophie for more or less ever, and John knows this. Chris is getting very upset because of it (not around them) and feels betrayed by John. He says he never made a move because it would have messed things up (which it is doing currently) and feels like "What has he got that I haven't?" I suppose it depends on the friend and how close you are to them. While I wouldn't betray my best friends, there are people I hang out with that I probably would to be honest and I know they would do the same to me.

Mooney · 01-01-2003, 03:02 PM

i liked a girl a lot. her best freind liked me. a lot. i never made a move because of this. no one wins. so, yeah.. it's hard to say what to do. i am no help.

powered by pear · 01-01-2003, 04:10 PM

if you're hesitant, then apparantly you do care about your friend and don't want him to be hurt.

give it time, crushes wear out, and so on. just wait a little when he's not so caught up in her like now. maybe your feelings will change even, who knows. but maybe now isnt the time to persue this girl if you know your friend is mad over her.

but you know, that doesn't keep you from getting to know her, or being friends with her.

Sepiae · 01-01-2003, 04:17 PM

I think all you can really do is decide if the girl is worth losing your friend over, or if your friend is worth losing the girl over. It sounds kind of cheesy, but if you don't want to wait and see how things play out, it is all you can do.

BlueStar · 01-01-2003, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by powered by pear
give it time, crushes wear out, and so on. just wait a little when he's not so caught up in her like now.

Yep, that would be my advice.

It seems to be a little different among guys, but among girls, you don't ever go for a guy one of your friends is interested in...it is a sacred rule. Significant others come and go, friends are forever. (Yes, I realize that sounds lame.)

Just wait it out a little. Try being a friend to your friend and help him realize that the girl has no interest in him and encourage him to look elsewhere. And once your friend begins to lose interest in the girl, talk to him about how you feel for her. In the meantime, try and establish a friendship with the girl (in a way that is non-threatening to your friend).

mirrar · 01-01-2003, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlueStar
Significant others come and go, friends are forever.

SO true.

Eulogy · 01-02-2003, 12:06 AM

Go for it.

If someone's feelings toward a person are not being reciprocated at all, then I really don't think you should have t worry about it. Do what you want to do. If the friend had a chance, it would be a totally different thing though.

Blushing Brilliance · 01-02-2003, 12:45 AM

If he is your real friend, and if he truly likes the girl, then he should be happy for you if you and the girl actually end up in a relationship. He knows that he is never going to get with her, so if she wants to be with you, and that makes her happy, then your friend should want what's best for her, and what is best for you as well.

View Poll Results: Should I reduce my options of having a relationship for the sake of a friendship?
No	8	53.33%
Yes	7	46.67%
Voters: 15. You may not vote on this poll

01-01-2003, 12:51 PM	#1
bonsor Minion of Satan Location: midwest Posts: 8,771	very very simple poll about ethics Friend likes girl. Girl doesn't like friend. Friend persists, despite knowing he has no chance. I also like girl. I am fighting ethical battle against self trying to choose. that's it in a nutshell. She's possibly the coolest girl I've met in a really long time, and I'd really like to get to know her better, though this would probably upset my friend, who is being posessive over a girl he's not even in a relationship with. vote. comment. Last edited by bonsor : 01-01-2003 at 12:53 PM.

01-01-2003, 03:02 PM	#4
Mooney Socialphobic Location: halifax Posts: 14,821	i liked a girl a lot. her best freind liked me. a lot. i never made a move because of this. no one wins. so, yeah.. it's hard to say what to do. i am no help. __________________

01-01-2003, 01:03 PM	#2
mpp Minion of Satan Posts: 7,577	it comes down to who you care about more usually for me it's the girl but maybe that's why my friends hate me just joking (in a way)

01-01-2003, 01:05 PM	#3
Fish Demi-God Location: London (Cardiff Uni in term time) UK Posts: 392	It's a hard choice man. In my "friendship group" at the moment, one of my friends John is getting very close to a girl who hangs with us called Sophie. The problem is that my best friend Chris has fancied Sophie for more or less ever, and John knows this. Chris is getting very upset because of it (not around them) and feels betrayed by John. He says he never made a move because it would have messed things up (which it is doing currently) and feels like "What has he got that I haven't?" I suppose it depends on the friend and how close you are to them. While I wouldn't betray my best friends, there are people I hang out with that I probably would to be honest and I know they would do the same to me.

01-01-2003, 04:10 PM	#5
powered by pear Pledge Location: antarctica Posts: 249	if you're hesitant, then apparantly you do care about your friend and don't want him to be hurt. give it time, crushes wear out, and so on. just wait a little when he's not so caught up in her like now. maybe your feelings will change even, who knows. but maybe now isnt the time to persue this girl if you know your friend is mad over her. but you know, that doesn't keep you from getting to know her, or being friends with her.

01-01-2003, 04:17 PM	#6
Sepiae is a modern day sex camel Location: Boston, baby Posts: 7,662	I think all you can really do is decide if the girl is worth losing your friend over, or if your friend is worth losing the girl over. It sounds kind of cheesy, but if you don't want to wait and see how things play out, it is all you can do.

01-02-2003, 12:06 AM	#9
Eulogy huh Posts: 62,361	Go for it. If someone's feelings toward a person are not being reciprocated at all, then I really don't think you should have t worry about it. Do what you want to do. If the friend had a chance, it would be a totally different thing though.

01-02-2003, 12:45 AM	#10
Blushing Brilliance Demi-God Location: River-Fucking-Side CA. Posts: 331	If he is your real friend, and if he truly likes the girl, then he should be happy for you if you and the girl actually end up in a relationship. He knows that he is never going to get with her, so if she wants to be with you, and that makes her happy, then your friend should want what's best for her, and what is best for you as well.