Deconstructing "how to be a good Democrat"

[Tchocky]

You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

Similarly, I'm not going to believe that a 4th grade English teacher can teach algebra. Different teachers teach different things.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

Number of people killed by nuclear weapons detonated by the Chinese - 0
Number of people killed by guns in the hands of American citizens, whether by intention or by accident - Many more than 0.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

So in other words, global warming and air pollution are a myth? HAH. If only people knew what a mess the enviroment truly is...

You have to be against capital punishment (putting murderers to death) but support abortion (killing innocent unborn babies) on demand (federally funded of course.)

Um, many will make the argument that life doesn't begin immediately after conception; that it begins after the damn fetus is out of the mother. Until then it's part of the mother's body, and the government shouldn't be telling women what to do with their bodies. In contrast, many people who are excecuted are later found to be innocent of the crime they committed. NOW who's killing the innocent?

You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments and unions create prosperity.

I don't see governments moving all their jobs overseas so they can pay someone 14 cents an hour to do a job that they'd normally pay a local employee 14 dollars an hour to do.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but loony activists from Seattle do.

Hunters kill animals. Activists don't.

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

Nobody ever accomplished anything without some sort of self-motivation.

You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

And vice versa.

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist but racial quotas are not.

Racial quotas are necessary to give the oppressed minorities the opportunities that have been long denied to them. It's not our fault that the majority of Republicans are ethnocentrists.

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

Though I'm not a fan of socialism, I'd like to see an example of where it was truly tried in the world and not disrupted prematurely by some greater nation.

You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

I'd like to know who has actually told more lies while in office, Bush Jr. or Clinton.

You have to believe that homosexual parades should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

The Constitution clearly states "separation of church and state," not "separation of homosexuality and state." Homosexuality is not a religion, so this argument is null and void. Just because the ethnocentrist right in the U.S. might find homosexuality repulsive and wants to shove government-funded depictions of religion that are clearly in violation of the Constitution down my throat doesn't make it right.

You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the U.S.

And so is appeasing the corrupt Saudi royal government? The hypocrisy, it BURNS!

19. You have to believe the purpose of government is to take money from people who earned it and spend it on people who did not earn it.

Yeah, like Paris Hilton earned all the money she's got.

You have to believe in Democracy but demand only Democrat victories in elections.

And you have to believe in Democracy but demand that only Republicans win elections, is that it?

You have to believe that people who disagree with you are stupid and backward while believing people who agree with you are "progressive" and "enlightened."

If anyone can give me an example of a truly progressive Republican, I'd be shocked.

You have to believe that a "B" average economics major from Yale University with a MBA from Harvard Business School is too stupid to be President of the United States.

Money can buy you anything, including a good report card.

You are proud to have Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Bill Clinton in the Democratic Party.

I'm sure the Republicans out there are damn proud to have George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld in the Republican Party.