How can I be an informative uncle without being morally pushy?

spa ced · 08-04-2004, 11:59 PM

My nieces, ages 9, 7, and 6 are beginning to grow up. I've always wanted to be their free spirited uncle who always has time to play games with them but now as they get older I want to become more substantial and be a mentor of some sort. They live with us Monday through Friday due to being out of school for the summer and their parents working a lot.

I've heard that talking with children about concepts can enhance intelligence at an earlier age.

At this point the only thing I've talked to them about is the importance of playing/exercise (due to myself and my family setting a horrible example) for a while during the day instead of watching TV all day like they want to do.

There are certain topics that I wouldn't even think of exposing them to because I know that they have their parents and that's not right for me to do.

So my question to any of those of with who can provide helpful advice, what topics are okay to inform them about and how can I go about it without being really morally pushy?

Future Boy · 08-05-2004, 12:04 AM

I would say it would depend on how much of it they get from their parents. You dont wanna overdo it, especially if they get enough at home. JUst be the fun Uncle, let their parents handle that. NOw personally speaking, I dont really approve of my sisters parenting skills, and do take it upon myself to let the kids know when they're a bit out of line or acting like a couple of idiots.

Nimrod's Son · 08-05-2004, 12:05 AM

Explain to them that homosexuality is a sin and how someday they will go to heaven but you won't be there to enjoy it with them.

tsp gatmog · 08-05-2004, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Future Boy
I would say it would depend on how much of it they get from their parents. You dont wanna overdo it, especially if they get enough at home. JUst be the fun Uncle, let their parents handle that. NOw personally speaking, I dont really approve of my sisters parenting skills, and do take it upon myself to let the kids know when they're a bit out of line or acting like a couple of idiots.

*glances at your avatar*

how lovely..

Future Boy · 08-05-2004, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by tsp gatmog

*glances at your avatar*

how lovely..

Yeah, ok.

Stick to the SP Board with the rest of the oboard all-stars, thanks.

Nimrod's Son · 08-05-2004, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Future Boy

Yeah, ok.

Stick to blamo with the rest of the oboard all-stars, thanks.

Fixed

tsp gatmog · 08-05-2004, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Future Boy

Yeah, ok.

Stick to the SP Board with the rest of the oboard all-stars, thanks.

i love pissing you guys off, its so easy. god no one has a sense of fucking humor here.

Future Boy · 08-05-2004, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
Fixed

That actually does fit better, thanks.

Quote:

Originally posted by tsp gatmog
i love pissing you guys off, its so easy. god no one has a sense of fucking humor here.

Yeah...ok.

lucky_13 · 08-05-2004, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Future Boy
I would say it would depend on how much of it they get from their parents. You dont wanna overdo it, especially if they get enough at home. JUst be the fun Uncle, let their parents handle that. NOw personally speaking, I dont really approve of my sisters parenting skills, and do take it upon myself to let the kids know when they're a bit out of line or acting like a couple of idiots.

i do the same thing. i have 10 nieces and nephews and i've had a major hand in raising 6 of them. my one brother has not disciplined his kids at all. they are complete maniacs and i yell at them constantly because no one else does. i don't mind being considered the mean aunt if it means they end up staying out of trouble and having good manners. i don't make it a point to inform them of certain things but if the topic arises i do give them my opinion on things. let them learn things on their own and if the topic comes up give them your view on it. there's no point to have lectures.

spa ced · 08-05-2004, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Future Boy
I would say it would depend on how much of it they get from their parents. You dont wanna overdo it, especially if they get enough at home. JUst be the fun Uncle, let their parents handle that. NOw personally speaking, I dont really approve of my sisters parenting skills, and do take it upon myself to let the kids know when they're a bit out of line or acting like a couple of idiots.

That's a very valid point. To be honest I don't really know how much involvement their parents will have as far as talking about the many concept one deals with throughout life. Our family is a very loving one but we are not very good at communicating with each other. We just don't talk to each other very much. At least I feel that way. I'd like to give my nieces a "heads up" especially since I don't feel one was given to me by my family. My family never discusses any social issues, politics, etc.

spa ced · 08-05-2004, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nimrod's Son
yadda yadda homophobic christian rhetoric blah blah

It's a good thing I don't believe in hell.

spa ced · 08-05-2004, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lucky_13

i do the same thing. i have 10 nieces and nephews and i've had a major hand in raising 6 of them. my one brother has not disciplined his kids at all. they are complete maniacs and i yell at them constantly because no one else does. i don't mind being considered the mean aunt if it means they end up staying out of trouble and having good manners. i don't make it a point to inform them of certain things but if the topic arises i do give them my opinion on things. let them learn things on their own and if the topic comes up give them your view on it. there's no point to have lectures.

My nieces are pretty well disciplined and I'm grateful for that. I share a bathroom with them however and I'm always reminding them to do certain things like flushing the toilet, picking up their clothes, returning the towels, etc. I think you're right. I think I just need to let them know that I am always available if they have any questions about anything. As they grew older they will feel comfortable taking advantage of that offer because I posed it to them early. I don't want to be a Preachy McPreacherton. I just want to be fair and balanced and not mold their thoughts a certain way as much as letting them know that things are not always so black & white and that there are always different ways to view things.

pastor · 08-05-2004, 01:27 AM

I was trying to teach my four-year-old nephew the names of animals yesterday. He kept forgetting the name of the Rhino, so I told him that "rhino" sounds a lot like "wino," which is what his mother is. After that, he had it down pat. After all, what is closer to a child's heart, and more pervasive in his mind, than his own mother? Nothing, that's what. I'm an awesome teacher.

tootsie · 08-05-2004, 02:13 AM

well, i try to be that way with my siblings, ages 11, 8, and 4. my parents are crazy strict mormons and i feel they push them too hard. like when the 11 year old gets a bad grade on a homework assignment, my mom will kind of lecture her and be too tough on her. after i always say to her, you know grades arent the most important thing in the world, dont worry about a c+. as long as you're working hard and enjoying your life, thats what matters.

i usually try to bring different viewpoints into their lives, my parents are so incredibly biased, they think nothing of slamming all sorts of people (ie catholics, homosexuals, and especially easterners), i always try to explain its ok to live your life differently, its ok to be a different religon, etc.

its frustrating though. swear to god my parents are bound and determined to brainwash each and every one of us.

08-04-2004, 11:59 PM	#1
spa ced Braindead Location: Machu Picchu Posts: 15,291	How can I be an informative uncle without being morally pushy? My nieces, ages 9, 7, and 6 are beginning to grow up. I've always wanted to be their free spirited uncle who always has time to play games with them but now as they get older I want to become more substantial and be a mentor of some sort. They live with us Monday through Friday due to being out of school for the summer and their parents working a lot. I've heard that talking with children about concepts can enhance intelligence at an earlier age. At this point the only thing I've talked to them about is the importance of playing/exercise (due to myself and my family setting a horrible example) for a while during the day instead of watching TV all day like they want to do. There are certain topics that I wouldn't even think of exposing them to because I know that they have their parents and that's not right for me to do. So my question to any of those of with who can provide helpful advice, what topics are okay to inform them about and how can I go about it without being really morally pushy? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. No contaban con mi astucia!

08-05-2004, 12:05 AM	#3
Nimrod's Son Master of Karate and Friendship Location: in your butt Posts: 72,943	Explain to them that homosexuality is a sin and how someday they will go to heaven but you won't be there to enjoy it with them. __________________ - Nimrod's Son: Problem Solver!

08-05-2004, 12:04 AM	#2
Future Boy The Man of Tomorrow Posts: 26,972	I would say it would depend on how much of it they get from their parents. You dont wanna overdo it, especially if they get enough at home. JUst be the fun Uncle, let their parents handle that. NOw personally speaking, I dont really approve of my sisters parenting skills, and do take it upon myself to let the kids know when they're a bit out of line or acting like a couple of idiots.

08-05-2004, 01:27 AM	#13
pastor Apocalyptic Poster Location: somewhere Posts: 2,276	I was trying to teach my four-year-old nephew the names of animals yesterday. He kept forgetting the name of the Rhino, so I told him that "rhino" sounds a lot like "wino," which is what his mother is. After that, he had it down pat. After all, what is closer to a child's heart, and more pervasive in his mind, than his own mother? Nothing, that's what. I'm an awesome teacher.

08-05-2004, 02:13 AM	#14
tootsie Minion of Satan Location: go go gadget goggler Posts: 5,346	well, i try to be that way with my siblings, ages 11, 8, and 4. my parents are crazy strict mormons and i feel they push them too hard. like when the 11 year old gets a bad grade on a homework assignment, my mom will kind of lecture her and be too tough on her. after i always say to her, you know grades arent the most important thing in the world, dont worry about a c+. as long as you're working hard and enjoying your life, thats what matters. i usually try to bring different viewpoints into their lives, my parents are so incredibly biased, they think nothing of slamming all sorts of people (ie catholics, homosexuals, and especially easterners), i always try to explain its ok to live your life differently, its ok to be a different religon, etc. its frustrating though. swear to god my parents are bound and determined to brainwash each and every one of us.