one of my co-worker's husband is dying

twilightfadez · 12-06-2002, 12:05 PM

he's about 50 -60 yrs old, has cancer and got a heart attack on thanksgiving........he's been in the hospital since and his heart is only working 34%...she says she thinks he's gonna die this week, and that they signed the papers to not let the doctors put him on life support in case something happens
i feel so horrible, she's so heartbroken
what do i say in a situation like this? this kinda feels like when my grandfather died, he had similar symptoms....

StillBecomingApart · 12-06-2002, 12:20 PM

Oh.....

mirrar · 12-06-2002, 12:30 PM

just let her know that you know what she's going through and that she has your sympathies.. husband or grandfather, losing a loved one is still hard

twilightfadez · 12-06-2002, 12:53 PM

i know..it's just so hard for me to say those things, i give her my support and try to get her mind off things, but facing that reality is very difficult

Samsa · 12-06-2002, 01:06 PM

you could offer to cook her a meal or something. like make her a lasagna or some soup.

twilightfadez · 12-06-2002, 01:07 PM

hmmm that would be a good idea
i'll make her something for monday, i'll bring her a nice warm yummy lunch

twilightfadez · 12-06-2002, 01:08 PM

well, i can get some dessert when i go out to lunch today
cos she usually stays here and eats, and i go home for lunch ( i live like 2 minutes away)

Sepiae · 12-06-2002, 01:21 PM

This sounds kind of obvious, but you should buy or make her a card. A friend of mine whose mother died said that people giving and sending her cards really helped her through it, because when she felt sad, she had all this proof that people were thinking about her, and she could make it with that support.

jenny4ever · 12-06-2002, 01:26 PM

my mom had a coworker(her boss, actually) whose husband was really sick last year around xmas and my mom helped her wrap her xmas gifts and stuff. and offering to bring meals to her might be a good idea cause obviously shes not gonna feel much like cooking . . . but yeah, you dont have to do all that but its just ideas.

i agree with sepiae about the card thing. cards are good too.

Samsa · 12-06-2002, 01:31 PM

when my grandmother died we got meals from other people for a week. it's a synagogue thing or something?

a lot of lasagna :[ i think my favourite was this spinach lasagna this woman made. mmm!

when my grampa died people wanted to like make my mom dinner but she wouldn't let them :-/ cuz it wasn't much of a loss or something.

yeah yeah i know irrleevant :rollyes:

twilightfadez · 12-06-2002, 01:35 PM

its weird how food comforts
when my grandfather died we got tons of food that lasted us a week......nobody felt like cooking or going out to a restaurant so it was a relief to have that

12-06-2002, 12:05 PM	#1
twilightfadez Socialphobic Location: Medellin, CO Posts: 10,511	one of my co-worker's husband is dying he's about 50 -60 yrs old, has cancer and got a heart attack on thanksgiving........he's been in the hospital since and his heart is only working 34%...she says she thinks he's gonna die this week, and that they signed the papers to not let the doctors put him on life support in case something happens i feel so horrible, she's so heartbroken what do i say in a situation like this? this kinda feels like when my grandfather died, he had similar symptoms....

12-06-2002, 12:20 PM	#2
StillBecomingApart I'M FROM ITALY Location: Back the tape up. I need it again! Let it roll! Just as high as the fucker can go! And when it comes to that fantastic note where the rabbit bites its own head off, I want you to THROW THAT FUCKING RADIO INTO THE TUB WITH ME! Posts: 4,355	Oh.....

12-06-2002, 12:30 PM	#3
mirrar Braindead Location: in our bedroom, after the war. Posts: 19,826	just let her know that you know what she's going through and that she has your sympathies.. husband or grandfather, losing a loved one is still hard

12-06-2002, 12:53 PM	#4
twilightfadez Socialphobic Location: Medellin, CO Posts: 10,511	i know..it's just so hard for me to say those things, i give her my support and try to get her mind off things, but facing that reality is very difficult

12-06-2002, 01:06 PM	#5
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	you could offer to cook her a meal or something. like make her a lasagna or some soup.

12-06-2002, 01:07 PM	#6
twilightfadez Socialphobic Location: Medellin, CO Posts: 10,511	hmmm that would be a good idea i'll make her something for monday, i'll bring her a nice warm yummy lunch

12-06-2002, 01:08 PM	#7
twilightfadez Socialphobic Location: Medellin, CO Posts: 10,511	well, i can get some dessert when i go out to lunch today cos she usually stays here and eats, and i go home for lunch ( i live like 2 minutes away)

12-06-2002, 01:21 PM	#8
Sepiae is a modern day sex camel Location: Boston, baby Posts: 7,662	This sounds kind of obvious, but you should buy or make her a card. A friend of mine whose mother died said that people giving and sending her cards really helped her through it, because when she felt sad, she had all this proof that people were thinking about her, and she could make it with that support.

12-06-2002, 01:26 PM	#9
jenny4ever Apocalyptic Poster Location: Boone, NC Posts: 1,026	my mom had a coworker(her boss, actually) whose husband was really sick last year around xmas and my mom helped her wrap her xmas gifts and stuff. and offering to bring meals to her might be a good idea cause obviously shes not gonna feel much like cooking . . . but yeah, you dont have to do all that but its just ideas. i agree with sepiae about the card thing. cards are good too.

12-06-2002, 01:31 PM	#10
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	when my grandmother died we got meals from other people for a week. it's a synagogue thing or something? a lot of lasagna :[ i think my favourite was this spinach lasagna this woman made. mmm! when my grampa died people wanted to like make my mom dinner but she wouldn't let them :-/ cuz it wasn't much of a loss or something. yeah yeah i know irrleevant :rollyes:

12-06-2002, 01:35 PM	#11
twilightfadez Socialphobic Location: Medellin, CO Posts: 10,511	its weird how food comforts when my grandfather died we got tons of food that lasted us a week......nobody felt like cooking or going out to a restaurant so it was a relief to have that