Book Recomendation for Samsa

lolololololzing · 12-03-2002, 04:22 AM

Hey, I found this great book. It's called the NEW testament. I know you've read the old one, but maybe, just maybe, if you read the NEW testament or atleast acknowledge it's existence, you wouldn't be such an ugly ass jew bitch.

GO FUCK YOURSELF!

spa ced · 12-03-2002, 04:31 AM

Who are you trying to fool here?
You don't fucking read you hick loser.

Lie · 12-03-2002, 04:31 AM

But the Old Testament is where it's at. Timeless. The New Testament is like a trashy romance novel in comparison. All you really need to know about it can be summed up with a couple of choice sentences.

In essence: Jesus died for your sins, you ungrateful fucking bastard. And he also did all this cool shit like walking on water and stuff, but even though he died he came back, and according to John, the coolest of the gospels, his mother mistook him for the gardener, but in the end everyone was happy to see him and they all took a walk on the beach and ate fish for breakfast, which is to say that none of them were vegetarians, though some Biblical historians believe that Simon Peter claimed to be, the stupid fucking bastard.

That is all.

Best Looking Boy · 12-03-2002, 04:32 AM

Yeah I gotta agree with Lie here. The Old Testament is much more enjoyable.

sarmatianus · 12-03-2002, 04:38 AM

"It's absolute balls. Beautiful, of course. But balls."

- Philip Larkin on the Bible

12-03-2002, 04:38 AM

I dunno about Suze, but I got one for you: "Shut the Fuck Up" by Dr. Denis Leary.

lolololololzing · 12-03-2002, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Rhinoceros
I dunno about Suze, but I got one for you: "Shut the Fuck Up" by Dr. Denis Leary.

Great one. Now please, repost that with a less gay avatar and maybe, just maybe, for two seconds, i'll read your response and pretend it came from a straight person.

lawson · 12-03-2002, 04:44 AM

how about Night by Elie Weisel - i hear its hilarious

Irrelevant · 12-03-2002, 04:44 AM

we gave it all away!
we gave it all away!
we gave it all away!

Quote:

Originally posted by lolololololzing
GO FUCK YOURSELF!

12-03-2002, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lolololololzing

Great one. Now please, repost that with a less gay avatar and maybe, just maybe, for two seconds, i'll read your response and pretend it came from a straight person.

My avatar is supposed to be funny.

Lie · 12-03-2002, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Rhinoceros
My avatar is supposed to be funny.

I find it genuinely scary.

Cactuar · 12-03-2002, 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Irrelevant
we gave it all away!
we gave it all away!
we gave it all away!

1337

12-03-2002, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lie

I find it genuinely scary.

That was what my Mr. T as Santa Claus with Nancy Reagan sitting in his lap was supposed to be.

Lie · 12-03-2002, 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Rhinoceros
That was what my Mr. T as Santa Claus with Nancy Reagan sitting in his lap was supposed to be.

I guess I missed that one.

Samsa · 12-03-2002, 04:23 PM

i've read parts of the new testament

i probably should read the whole thing at some time but i don't know which version. i guess the king james version. i don't know

i want to read a nice poetic version. i read the gospel of matthew and i was sorta repulsed. as i've said before i like the beatitutes but the rest of the sermon of the mount pisses me off. i have no desire to cut off my right hand, thankyouverymuch

DeviousJ · 12-03-2002, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Irrelevant
we gave it all away!
we gave it all away!
we gave it all away!

rawkin'

jenniferkate · 12-03-2002, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lie
But the Old Testament is where it's at.

"the book of genesis, at least until the story of joseph, is a narrative of brutal singlemindedness. barrenness, conception, birth; masturbation, seduction, rape; uxoricide, fratricide, infanticide -- these are the terms of the action." (god: a biography)

i'm gonna go look up uxoricide now.

Tired of "Me" · 12-03-2002, 08:02 PM

Why would you want to read any of the bible?

Tessellation · 12-03-2002, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tired of "Me"
Why would you want to read any part of the bible?

Ketchup · 12-04-2002, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lie
In essence: Jesus died for your sins, you ungrateful fucking bastard.

i never got this... why would someone have to die for our sins and stuff?

Tessellation · 12-04-2002, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lie
But the Old Testament is where it's at. Timeless. The New Testament is like a trashy romance novel in comparison. All you really need to know about it can be summed up with a couple of choice sentences.

In essence: Jesus died for your sins, you ungrateful fucking bastard. And he also did all this cool shit like walking on water and stuff, but even though he died he came back, and according to John, the coolest of the gospels, his mother mistook him for the gardener, but in the end everyone was happy to see him and they all took a walk on the beach and ate fish for breakfast, which is to say that none of them were vegetarians, though some Biblical historians believe that Simon Peter claimed to be, the stupid fucking bastard.

That is all.

Jesus, a.k.a. Yuz Asaf, was an unwilling martyr. Some suggest that he survived the crucifuxion only to go into a coma. Upon regaining consciousness, he lived for many more years in India.

Lie · 12-04-2002, 05:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jenniferkate
(god: a biography)

I want to buy a copy of that, not just to read but to carry around with me so whenever someone starts the whole argument about "Religion breeds ignorance so if you're not religious why spread the disease by reading their filthy texts?" I can whip it out and smartly whap them over the head with it.

12-03-2002, 04:22 AM	#1
lolololololzing BANNED as per request Location: dirty south Posts: 245	Book Recomendation for Samsa Hey, I found this great book. It's called the NEW testament. I know you've read the old one, but maybe, just maybe, if you read the NEW testament or atleast acknowledge it's existence, you wouldn't be such an ugly ass jew bitch. GO FUCK YOURSELF!

12-03-2002, 04:31 AM	#2
spa ced Braindead Location: Machu Picchu Posts: 15,291	Who are you trying to fool here? You don't fucking read you hick loser.

12-03-2002, 04:31 AM	#3
Lie Socialphobic Location: Goin' out West where they'll appreciate me Posts: 10,001	But the Old Testament is where it's at. Timeless. The New Testament is like a trashy romance novel in comparison. All you really need to know about it can be summed up with a couple of choice sentences. In essence: Jesus died for your sins, you ungrateful fucking bastard. And he also did all this cool shit like walking on water and stuff, but even though he died he came back, and according to John, the coolest of the gospels, his mother mistook him for the gardener, but in the end everyone was happy to see him and they all took a walk on the beach and ate fish for breakfast, which is to say that none of them were vegetarians, though some Biblical historians believe that Simon Peter claimed to be, the stupid fucking bastard. That is all.

12-03-2002, 04:32 AM	#4
Best Looking Boy Apocalyptic Poster Location: Austin, TX Posts: 3,414	Yeah I gotta agree with Lie here. The Old Testament is much more enjoyable.

12-03-2002, 04:38 AM	#5
sarmatianus Apocalyptic Poster Location: Charm City Posts: 1,033	"It's absolute balls. Beautiful, of course. But balls." - Philip Larkin on the Bible

12-03-2002, 04:38 AM	#6
Mr. Rhinoceros Posts: n/a	I dunno about Suze, but I got one for you: "Shut the Fuck Up" by Dr. Denis Leary.

12-03-2002, 04:44 AM	#8
lawson Apocalyptic Poster Location: raleigh Posts: 4,176	how about Night by Elie Weisel - i hear its hilarious

12-03-2002, 04:23 PM	#15
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	i've read parts of the new testament i probably should read the whole thing at some time but i don't know which version. i guess the king james version. i don't know i want to read a nice poetic version. i read the gospel of matthew and i was sorta repulsed. as i've said before i like the beatitutes but the rest of the sermon of the mount pisses me off. i have no desire to cut off my right hand, thankyouverymuch

12-03-2002, 08:02 PM	#18
Tired of "Me" Pledge Location: n.j. Posts: 167	Why would you want to read any of the bible?