it's been a while - post the best Simpson's quotes here

[The Pashing Smumpkin]

Xena: Come here big guy, Xena needs sex...
Xena: GOT YOUR LIPS!

in fact that whole fucking episode was awesome!

[Mariner]

Homer, in obnoxious socialite voice: "Soooooo, I noooticed your home smells like feces!"

[Dead]

Xena was on the simpsons?!?!

[The Pashing Smumpkin]

Originally posted by Dead
Xena was on the simpsons?!?!

yep! She gets kidnapped by the fat geeky dude from the comic store and he takes her back to his pad to cover her in lucite to preserve her along with his other "figurines". see if you can download it or something, its fucking gold!

[hereisnowhy]

Kent Brockman (after an eco group protests Krusty Burger): "Krusty the Clown has released the following statement: 'This I don't need'."

[strange_one]

Originally posted by hereisnowhy
Kent Brockman (after an eco group protests Krusty Burger): "Krusty the Clown has released the following statement: 'This I don't need'."

yes!

[strange_one]

Bart: Because I like you, I'll even do it pro boner.
Skinner: It's pro bono.
Bart: I know what I said.

[hereisnowhy]

Woman: It sounds like something crawled down your throat and died.

Barney: It didn't die!

[Voice Implodes]

bart- did you screw up like the beatles and say you were bigger than jesus?

homer- are you kidding? it was the name of our second album!



lisa- you're not mild mannered. you're often liquered up and rude!



homer- TV!!!! teacher, mother, secret lover!


and the best....

finally, some quiet time to read some of my old favorites... honey roasted peanuts. ingrediants; honey roasting agents, pressed peanut sweepings. ah, the last peanut! covered in the residue of his departed brothers.

uh-oh, something's wrong... eeew, sticky, ow! pointy!! eeeeaaa, moving!!! aaaw, $20! i wanted a peanut

brain- $20 can buy many peanuts!

homer-- what? explain how!1

brain-- money can be exchanged for goods and or services

homer wahoo

[machinaddict]

Mr Burns: For the rest of you, something was lacking out there. Let's call it heart.
Daryl Strawberry: No hussle either, skip.
Mr Burns: That's right Daryl.



When the kids get fake drunk at the Duff beer festival
Milhouse drunkenly puts his arm around Bart
Milhouse: This guy....this is the guy

[oclaftap]

Originally posted by Dead

I couldn't believe they aired the thing I'm thinking of. I wish I could look it up or remember what it was.

i think i know which one your talking about and i dont remember it exactly but it was like
"war doesnt solve anything, except for all of america's problems" or something like that

[Tama]

Dental Plan...
Lisa needs braces....

i call the big one bitey

[hereisnowhy]

Otto to stoned Homer: "Dude, remember that time I dropped my keys, and you thought the phone was ringing?"

[machinaddict]

Brockman: [on TV] As expected, New Springfield's bold experiment with slob rule is a disaster.

Homer: Hey! The TV man is talking about us.

Brockman: A study shows their crumbling economy is due to
their lazy attitude and shoddy work.

Homer: How the hell did they find that out?

Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically, and while we speak in a well-educated manner, they tend to use lowbrow expressions like, "Oh, yeah?" and "Come here a minute."

Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart, come here a minute.

Bart: You come here a minute.

Homer: [shakes fist] Oh yeah?

[spava]

Homer: "Oh what, are you gonna set the dogs on me? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"

[spava]

Homer: "The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!"

[spava]

Lisa: "It is better to remain silent and be thought the fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Homer's Brain: "Uh-oh what did that mean. Better say something or they'll think you're stupid."

Homer: "Takes one to know one!"

Homer's Brain: "Swish!"

[spava]

Owner-"Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!"

Homer-*worried* "Ooooh, that's bad."

Owner-"But it comes with a free Frogurt!"

Homer-*relieved* "That's good."

Owner-"The Frogurt is also cursed."

Homer-*worried* "That's bad."

Owner-"But you get your choice of topping!"

Homer-*relieved* "That's good."

Owner-"The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate."

Homer: *stares blankly*

Owner: "That's bad."

[Xteenmachine]

Pepi: Oh, Papa Homer, you are so learned.
Homer: Heh heh heh. `Learned', son. It's pronounced `learned'.

[ImplodingVoices]

from the episode where homer became a food critic

*homer is about to take a bite of a poisoned eclair*
Lisa- no dad it will kill u!
Homer- meh ive had a good run
Lisa- um uhh it low fat!
*homer throws the pastry away and it causes a hge explosion*
Wiggum- phew good thing it landed in that huge smoking crater

and

Flanders- ive always wanted pruple drapes!
ahhhhhhhh- girlish scream

[Geek USA]

you know when flanders finds out that bart, lisa and maggie haven't been baptized and he goes crazy and screams 'doodly doodly!!!' that always makes me laugh!

[spava]

Originally posted by Geek USA
you know when flanders finds out that bart, lisa and maggie haven't been baptized and he goes crazy and screams 'doodly doodly!!!' that always makes me laugh!

and Homer and Marge get back from court or whatever, to find a sign on Flanders' door:

GONE BAPTIZIN'