There has never been a point in my life

[Deadeyes]

Where I believe in as little as I do now...

I mean I relate everything I fucking have, I give someone blind honesty.
But they are so fucking scared. So fucking scared of being real.


We are just sick monkeys for fuck sake. If I can't save one I finally give a shit about what is the fucking point.

And everyone wonders why im walking around like I give less and less of a shit about anything. Where are the people that mean anything anymore?

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by Deadeyes

Where I believe in as little as I do now...

I mean I relate everything I fucking have, I give someone blind honesty.
But they are so fucking scared. So fucking scared of being real.


We are just sick monkeys for fuck sake. If I can't save one I finally give a shit about what is the fucking point.

And everyone wonders why im walking around like I give less and less of a shit about anything. Where are the people that mean anything anymore?

what?

[Mo]

What happened?

[hnibos]

this isnt the place to find them

[Deadeyes]

Well I care about having an identity and sharing honesty before anything. I don't have any time for all this hidden agenda bullshit, I don't give a shit about most of the people I know because they just want to stay hollow and live some blind life.

These people are just fodder, I can't relate or care about anything really. So I meet someone who gets where I am coming from, who actually turns an introspective eye on this fucking absurdity. But they won't change, I mean you don't just turn your back on your homegrown world if you can't detatch.

I just find it hard to feel if people can be so fucking fickle. How many stupid personas are you supposed to have. It's nonsense, and I don't care if I admit I am truly confused and desensitised by my reality and my purpose.

[hnibos]

Originally Posted by antipop

What happened?

the way things have been going here, im gonna guess shes not putting out

[barden]

shrooooooooooms.

[hnibos]

change into what

[Deadeyes]

Into someone that doesn't want to be governed day in and day out by others worlds. She is, I mean im probably the greatest discovery she has made in a psychologically disrupted person and honestly, she is fucking looking to help people because of her own suffering. But actually growing out of that is a different story, I know what I need, I know exactly what I want to give, but she is confused and lost.

Relation is the escape.

[Deadeyes]

You know what, I hope I am insane. For all your sakes.

[barden]

into a beautiful butterfly?
i like my one more.

[Nimrod's Son]

well you're most certainly not making any sense

[Nimrod's Son]

oh wait, is this like, a poem or some shit?

[barden]

dead eyes r u just like me?

[Deadeyes]

All I want to do is share pain huh, just because I can't be happy. But that is bullshit, I can be happy if I can just fucking relate with someone.

So what's the diagnosis for that?

[Mo]

Maybe our favorite troll Banana03 is able to cheer you up:


NSFW

[Deadeyes]

The future of netphoria is in those loins.

[Mo]

I hope he gets neutered.

[You Said]

[ifuktyourmom]

Suicide help line.
1-800-273-TALK (8255)

[Toby]

whose bits?

[Brute Squad]

sounds like someone needs to a join a cult that drinks the Kool-Aid

OH YEEEEAAAAHH

[ATS]

[reprise85]

Deadeyes, with your attitude you are likely to find solidarity in unhealthy people. All they have to do is come off as genuine and attractive (psychologically, whatever), and you can get really hurt.

[Deadeyes]

Originally Posted by reprise85

Deadeyes, with your attitude you are likely to find solidarity in unhealthy people. All they have to do is come off as genuine and attractive (psychologically, whatever), and you can get really hurt.

Yes that is the whole point. Healthy people are mindless, I am not attracted to them, I don't care about their world.

Bonding through mutual interest is love, not this fickle house, car, family shit. Give me someone whos emotions are fucked and can actually detatch and think for themselves. I don't care about normality.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Deadeyes

Yes that is the whole point. Healthy people are mindless, I am not attracted to them, I don't care about their world.

Bonding through mutual interest is love, not this fickle house, car, family shit. Give me someone whos emotions are fucked and can actually detatch and think for themselves. I don't care about normality.

You don't have to be detached to think for yourself or be genuine. I'm telling you with this attitude you will find people who will HURT you. Seriously, no offense, you're thinking process is off and you need some help with it. Also you seem to be set on finding someone like yourself, which probably means you hate yourself and you never will.

I'm trying to be helpful here. Your thinking is very adolescent, and I don't mean that as a put down. I've been there and I still go there sometimes. There are genuine people, they aren't hard to find. You miss them all when you are thinking like this. Please seek therapy.

[BumbleBeeMouth]

Originally Posted by reprise85

You don't have to be detached to think for yourself or be genuine. I'm telling you with this attitude you will find people who will HURT you. Seriously, no offense, you're thinking process is off and you need some help with it. Also you seem to be set on finding someone like yourself, which probably means you hate yourself and you never will.

I'm trying to be helpful here. Your thinking is very adolescent, and I don't mean that as a put down. I've been there and I still go there sometimes. There are genuine people, they aren't hard to find. You miss them all when you are thinking like this. Please seek therapy.

This man talks sense.

Youre putting up walls before you've had a peek over the ramparts.

If you smack the back of your hand to your forehead like you are you will obscure your eyes.


Man, im in the wrong job, i should be that guy who writes the messages in fortune cookies!

Anyway, talk to people, you get a few that are one of us. dont let them go!

[Deadeyes]

Originally Posted by reprise85

You don't have to be detached to think for yourself or be genuine. I'm telling you with this attitude you will find people who will HURT you. Seriously, no offense, you're thinking process is off and you need some help with it. Also you seem to be set on finding someone like yourself, which probably means you hate yourself and you never will.

I'm trying to be helpful here. Your thinking is very adolescent, and I don't mean that as a put down. I've been there and I still go there sometimes. There are genuine people, they aren't hard to find. You miss them all when you are thinking like this. Please seek therapy.

You don't really understand im afraid. I am not attracted to normal people, they do not have the qualities I like in people. You are talking so clinically, that has nothing to do with a correct world outlook.

You think relation is adolescent? I agree it's not exactly natural, but you don't really seem to understand human beings. We are not headed down the path of nature, I think emotions are far more intuitive than people give them credit for. The process is this, I am not normal, I don't relate to normal people ultimately and I don't particularly agree with their methods.

I don't hate myself, infact I project my qualities to see what I get back from people. That is how I judge whether I actually give a shit about them.

You fail to see that it can be a healing process, I want someone who knows how to care. You would probably say I had a nihilistic vantage if you knew how little I actually care about. I say that is not wrong in our day and age. Though I care about values, it is just that there is no real direction anymore so I don't communicate thedm unless I percieve others troubled.

[Starla]

Originally Posted by Deadeyes

I want someone who knows how to care.

Good luck with that. It's really hard to find someone who doesn't have some kind of an agenda.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Deadeyes

You don't really understand im afraid. I am not attracted to normal people, they do not have the qualities I like in people. You are talking so clinically, that has nothing to do with a correct world outlook.

You think relation is adolescent? I agree it's not exactly natural, but you don't really seem to understand human beings. We are not headed down the path of nature, I think emotions are far more intuitive than people give them credit for. The process is this, I am not normal, I don't relate to normal people ultimately and I don't particularly agree with their methods.

I don't hate myself, infact I project my qualities to see what I get back from people. That is how I judge whether I actually give a shit about them.

You fail to see that it can be a healing process, I want someone who knows how to care. You would probably say I had a nihilistic vantage if you knew how little I actually care about. I say that is not wrong in our day and age. Though I care about values, it is just that there is no real direction anymore so I don't communicate thedm unless I percieve others troubled.

I'm being clinical because I don't know you at all and I don't know much about you. I'm not talking about 'normal' people (as you call mindless and materialistic, etc). I am saying there are people who know how to care, who don't have an agenda, and don't purposefully or accidentally hurt people (badly, anyway).

Again, you seem focused outwards. You will never start your healing process through someone else, with someone else, whatever. Not unless you are in some kind of group therapy scenario. This is an internal process, not an external one. Part of that will be exploring your relationships (or lack there of), and perhaps then you could find a happy medium in your thinking. No one is going to meet you and then bare their soul. If they do they are very unhealthy, possibly lying, and will leave just as quickly. Relationships grow, they do not start as open and honest as you seem to want.

Perpetrators of people are very good at putting on a show to act like whatever you are looking for, and then hurting you emotionally, physically, financially, etc. In my opinion, you are much more likely to find people 'fooling' you in this way than what you are actually looking for. That's why I say it's dangerous. There's not necessarily anything wrong with what you want, it just sounds like you could be exploited easily. I say this out of experience.

I agree with this: "I think emotions are far more intuitive than people give them credit for."

I thought the same way as you do for a long while. Ultimately I explored why I thought that way and realized some of the cognitive distortions in my thinking.

I do hope you find what you want. Please let me know if you do.