Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1
i had a similar talk with my (awful) therapist back when i was still going.
i would find it very hard to start up once i got inside, especially without him asking me any questions. and i would always have trouble dealing with the end of the session. like, you kind of need to go full halt and just get up and walk outside. i would always knee-jerkingly say something redundant and superficial, like "have a nice day".
and i did kind of let my guard down, and that person did kind of fuck with me. i sort of wish i'd never gone.
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I'm sorry to hear that you had a shitty experience.
I usually have no problem talking to her... we talk about lots of things; unfortunately my trauma and also years of isolation made it very hard to re-enter society, and some things are still hard. And then there is processing traumas and etc. My main problem is dissociation. We have discussions where she tries to make me commit to the idea that reality really exists. I rarely do so. I think I did once.
So it's not so much that we don't connect as therapist-client, but that we don't connect as human to human, you know what I mean? And I don't do that with anybody, but a good place to start is probably with her. I do trust her, at least explicitly I feel like I trust her.