we waded through a powerpoint
about why not to smoke a joint,
and how estrogen + testosterone
will leave you tending child at home.
(now getting fat is no good either!
slide front to back, while wiping beaver.)
we sat in silence, post-lunch napping
fingers on our desks were tapping,
then ms. hodgkins sent the boys away,
"ladies listen now to what i say:
at some point when your body's ready
a trickle of blood, slow and steady
will rend your peace, sorry: it's true.
but there's something more important to tell you.
the first time that you feel a cramp,
watch out for that devil, duovamp!
he'll try to get you in his car,
buy you drinks down at the bar.
and when he's got you good and drunk,
a camera whips out of his trunk
'it's just a little point-and-shoot''
he says, with lens aimed at your coot
if you raise objection, say you can't stay,
he'll tell you that "it's fine, i'm gay!"
next thing you know, you've got gonorrhea
and your photo's posted on net-for-eea!
so do drugs, eat unhealthy if you must,
but heed my warning of duovamp's lust!"