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Old 10-06-2019, 01:07 PM   #4849
Disco King
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elphenor View Post
I am still getting straight A's

my job is OK, I'm a manager at this thing

I'm more social than I've ever been, I'm busier than I've ever been

I've just been trampled by this bad on and off relationship I suppose
Ah, it's the relationship shit getting you down.

From the mouths of babes, I know, but a cursory anecdotal survey of everyone I ever known's love life seems to show that on-again-off-again shit is rarely worth the heartache. Sure, some couples reconsider and reunite and it all works out in the end, but if you've broken up a couple times, there's more than likely a reason for that happening that won't just disappear during your third or fourth or fifth time. It just seems to lead to the same misery. Especially if each rekindling puts you two so far into that idealized honeymoon phase that you forget why you ever broke up, to the point of not working on the problems that led you to break up because they aren't emotionally salient in your mind anymore.

Sometimes, two people can be totally fine, nice, good people, and things just don't work out between them because of irreconcilable differences. It's not an indictment on either you or her to just go your separate ways. The world is full of people. There's probably somebody you'd be just as happy with, but with whom you lack the problems you have with this person. People are unique, but not that unique when there's fucking seven billion of us. You probably feel like "but this one's the one!" but I can guarantee you that isn't true, and there are enough people in the world you are compatible with for you to eventually stumble upon one who isn't going to bring you as many problems, and whom you're not going to bring as many problems.

My advice is just break it off, maybe stay platonic friends if possible (you obviously bring each other some value in your lives, a romantic relationship just isn't working), and talk to other women.

This is all assuming the breakdown of your relationship is just due to differences and not some major character flaw you have that would only lead you down the same path with whomever you dated. But even if it is this, work on yourself and just be a better guy for the next woman who comes along, instead of trying to fix yourself for the current one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elphenor View Post
School is not bringing me any joy

it's just this chore I have to do, I don't particularly like anyone I go to class with either

so now I just tell myself it'll be better when I get to a 4 year university...

I have no reason to be in school anyway I don't want to do anything with my life, except apparently be buried in debt
Just keep doing what you're doing, even if you don't see the immediate point. This is one of those times when a bit of myopia might actually do you some good. The further you project into the future, the more you might think "what's the point, I'm not working toward anything," which could derail you and leave you in a worse position in the future than if you just finished the damn programme. Focus on keeping up those A-grades just for the sake of it and the sake of doing well on the next assignment, the next test, the next class, etc. Take it one day at a time and just do it, don't think about it. Our brains can often be our enemies because they are so damn sophisticated that they are able to rationalize bad choices into appearing smart through mental trickery, so sometimes you just have to not let your brain even have the opportunity to do that and just power through something without too much reflection.

 
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