Quote:
Originally Posted by reprise85
I struggle with this in therapy... I feel like, if it isn't ever going to happen, hoping I eventually will be able to have intimacy and working towards that with my therapist just makes the whole thing more painful. At what point is it better for me to just cut my loses, accept I lost my teenage years to trauma (when people first figure out this stuff), lost most of my 20s to dealing with that trauma and other mental illness/addiction, and now it is just too late? That instead of putting effort into this fruitless endeavor I can just accept it and try as much as possible to get fulfillment out of the rest of my life? Yes it's sad to give up and what happened is completely fucked up but if it is truly impossible or extremely improbable that I can do relationships, why am i torturing myself trying?
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You're still relatively young Reprise, it's never too late.
I think firstly you have to love yourself before you can give yourself to someone else. That's not an easy thing to do. I've been working on myself and trying to get my shit together and it's kind of spooking me that my friends are having kids and shit now while I'm single. It's a natural anxiety to have.
As Jordan Peterson says, just focus on improving yourself every day, but SET THE BAR LOW. Set the bar very very low. You gotta make the progress attainable. That's what's really clicking with me. And if you keep on taking baby steps, before you know it, you'll be striding.