Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBelle
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I must take this opportunity to let it be known that I hate pugs. I
hate them.
They barely look like dogs at all. They look like toads that have been coated in glue and then rolled in old hair across the barbershop floor.
They always look wet, even when they are dry.
Their squashed faces make them look like a normal dog embryo got squished up on the side of the test tube. Or somebody smacked them with a canoe paddle. Their square, boxy bodies make them look as though they were rendered in PlayStation 1 graphics.
They appear as though somebody skinned a healthy dog and did their best to wrap the pelt around R2-D2 and pass it off as a living being.
They always look as though they are melting.
They are inbred as fuck. They are genetic abominations. Humanity's very own
Frankenstein's Monster.
If there is truly a god, mankind will surely be punished for making this obscene mockery of his creation.
I suppose it's not truly the pugs that I detest. They never chose to live. They are victims of existence.
It must be torture to be born a pug. We've selected for completely disadvantageous and maladaptive traits in them. They can barely breathe properly, and are always choking on their own epiglottis. Always having to make that revolting snorting sound. Their lack of ability to receive sufficient oxygen makes their gums all dark and blue.
What kind of proper organism needs another organism to clean its wrinkles in order to prevent face infections? The short snouts we've designed pugs with fail to protect their eyes from direct contact with the environment as they sniff things, leading to dry eyes, scratched corneas, cataracts, blindness, etc.
Speaking of their eyes... their bulging, buggy, frog-like eyes... pugs are also prone to exophthalmus. They can hardly keep their eyeballs in their skulls.
Their builds make it hard for them to carry their own weight. Their tongues are often too big to comfortably fit into their mouths, causing them to constantly drool.
I feel as though, as revenge, some vastly more intelligent alien species will come to Earth, and decide that humans would be cuter if our heads were to large for our spines to support, and we lacked toe nails. The human condition will thenceforth be characterized by even more suffering than it already is.