Topleybird:
Who do you think you are? I've heard of a catdog but a catbird? Am I supposed to imagine a cat fucking a bird? A bird fucking a cat? Or some other crime against the natural order? Whatever the answer, it SICKENS me. And don't think your complicity in jj's crimes went unnoticed. Speaking of which, you could have seen (WHAT I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WAS) one of the best tours of the year. FOR LIKE TWELVE FUCKING DOLLARS. But you didn't. And why? Because you didn't have the right clothes/haircut? What kind of Elphenor grade bullshit is this??? And to make matters worse, I learn that on top of all this you're FUCKING O-BOARD SCUM??? MAY YOUR OWN SHAME HANG YOU. MAY YOUR BATHWATER AND YOUR SOUP BE FOREVER TEPID (YES THAT INCLUDES CHILLED SOUPS [YES I KNOW ABOUT YOUR SORDID LOVE AFFAIR WITH GAZPACHO YOU TWISTED FUCKING DEGENERATE]). MAY YOUR INTERNET VIDEOS BE FOREVER BUFFERING. MAY ALL OF YOUR ASSORTED CHOCOLATES BE COCONUT AND ALL OF YOUR SP BE POST-2007. MAY YOUR CATS RUB THEIR ANUSES ON YOUR FACE WHILE YOU SLEEP AND MAY THEY NEVER DIE. MAY YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR LOVED ONES GROW DEEPER AND MORE MEANINGFUL WITH EACH PASSING DAY. MAY YOU ONE DAY WRITE AND ILLUSTRATE THAT CHILDREN'S BOOK AND HAVE IT PUBLISHED. MAY IT BE A ROUSING SUCCESS AND MAY IT INSPIRE FUTURE GENERATIONS TO BE AS GENUINELY KIND AND FUNNY AS YOU ARE YOU DELIGHTFUL FUCKING PRICK
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