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I think part of why people want to think that attraction is totally independent of how people behave and what steps they take, and is instead this magical spooky force that either just is or isn't, is because they maybe think it would make attraction less meaningful and more cynical if it actually is partly based on a skill that one can sharpen. And I'm not claiming that you can have total control over it or master some "one weird trick" to make any person fall in love with you, because most of it really is beyond our control. But not all of it is, because you can raise or lower your chances of facilitating your attraction by knowing how to do it, and that doesn't make it any less meaningful or valuable. "It just happens naturally" is something people only believe because they have enough natural aptitude at it that they've never had to think about it very much. It's like a regular person telling a dyslexic person "don't overthink reading, it'll just come naturally if you be yourself and relax."
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if there's a skill, I'm convinced it's just confidence/self-esteem, and if you don't have it you're not gonna get it from anywhere
but I dunno once you've been on a date or 2 where you felt it was ok to come out and say "I'm anxious about this" because the chemistry is natural, you might see things differently