recently i've been smoking more frequently. i've been trying not to make it an everyday thing, but around every other day i've been going at it. sometimes with a beer.
it's funny how weed sneaks up on you. it's very stealthy and it's hard to notice. it's like an abusive boyfriend, in that it weakens your coping skills with the outside world, and increases your need for that feeling of comfort at the end of the day, when the noise dies down and you can get high in peace. i've lived like that for years (with my ex)
it's weird because it DOES make me feel better, but somehow the (invisible) comedown leaves me a bit more anxious and self aware and waiting for the next time i can just drop the everyday mask and be by myself at home before going to bed and smoking.
no real resolution, i guess i'll try to cut back significantly
or maybe i'm just being a huge nerd smoking one bowl and drinking one can of beer and feeling like i'm on the edge