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Originally Posted by redbreegull
I used to have this edition. The illustrations are by Ted Nazmith, right? I lent it to a friend who disappeared off the face of the Earth though
my longest/healthiest relationship was with someone who was a libertarian from a rural catholic family. The tension and disagreement definitely fueled the passion, but we were both capable of debating without having a fight or someone's feelings getting hurt. I think ideology can sometimes obscure people's values. Our values were obviously essentially the same or we wouldn't have been able to have a healthy, respectful relationship. Our ideas about how to achieve those values were just informed by different cultures and different life experiences.
tl;dr: don't worry about it, it can be good to date someone who is different from yourself and ideological affiliation/worldview is sometimes not as important as interpersonal chemistry
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That's good that your values were very much aligned despite the political differences. Yeah, I think it's possible to make something like that work.
Anyhow, after having had met with this friend, I'm no longer under the illusion that she would be interested in anything more, which is just as well, because I'm happy to just be friends, and I have enough people I'm taking out these days as it is that adding more would just make it harder to see them all regularly.
She's currently single (her ex didn't end up moving for school, but he broke up with her anyway out of the blue), but when she mentioned the kinds of things she was looking for... she mentioned how if somebody takes her on a date, she expects that person to pick her up and drive her to the venue and pay for all that. Wouldn't date somebody without a car, because she doesn't want to do all the driving (not that there's anything wrong with that; she says that when she's the one who requests the date, she picks up the guy and pays and everything). She also mentioned some insecurities about the current guy she's casually seeing not being as good-looking as her ex, and her ex dating somebody "hotter" than her, like it was some kind of competition.
I thought, eh, I'm better off with somebody who's fine with me being a car-less, money-less loser, and I don't consider myself very good-looking, so if she's a bit disappointed with whomever it is she is currently seeing (although she says his personality makes up for it), being with me would probably be somewhat worse. In essence, she's looking for a Chad, and I'm not Chad.
Being friends with her is awesome, though. We've gotten close enough that we talk about pretty personal stuff.