exploding boy, you realize i never talked about it really, i'm just relating what went on in my head? it's not like i told people i was suicidal all the time. when i say "dont ask me about showers" im really saying "im not going to think about it" because you know, i'm talking to myself.
i tried very hard to not die. i dont blame anyone for committing suicide. im frankly lucky that im not depressed any more. but regardless whether someone is "seriously" going to kill themselves, the suffering is terrible, and really my intentions on writing the blog (that i never wrote) were to offer some kind of... not hope, because hope doesn't exist in that kind of life. just some proof, i guess, that it is possible to come out the other side.