self pity will never sustain you or give you what you need or want. you might have to be in some very uncomfortable situations to gain perspective that you're looking for. like getting doused with gas and set on fire while you sleep in your car. if you have no perspective you really have nothing. that's why old people who have had fucked up lives are very interesting people to listen to (well, sometimes). if you're in some kind of prison try breaking out. if that doesn't work well, if you've lost control of your will to live at least let someone who can change that know before you off yourself because sometimes opportunities pop up when you are at your very lowest of low. you should expect to experience lows. you can survive them. you might think you can't or won't or don't want to. give yourself some credit for something. whatever hell your living through. it can always, always be worse. try helping out someone who is in a worse situation than yourself just to see how it makes you feel. for selfish reasons. see if that does anything.
this is a pretty dangerous place for a youngin like yourself with all these ideas of death and destruction. be careful. i am creeped out just being in this thread.
PS: Trots and Party Queen, I Love You. I like you too, a lot. i am in the darkest place i've ever been and i sympathize with all of you going through depression or suicidal thoughts and just hopelessness. i really do. it's rough baby, to live. it's hard to survive. we demand those that we love to stay alive even though they want to die. even though i want to die i want you to live. not miserably. there's got to be some way. i am searching for one myself. it's hard to get around that when you've already had the "i'm done" feeling.
fuck these stats and telling anybody what to do. feel what you must feel and express it how you must and fight and kick the people away who want to shame you for it.
who wants to fuck a horse?