I start my next semester next month.
Kind of apprehensive about it. I usually look forward to the school year during the summer, but not this year. I'm doing an honours degree and have an honours seminar next semester in which we are expected to read a book a week, and I'm a slow reader. They are seminal texts in political science, and since the reading list was given to us early, I told myself I'd get a head start over the summer. Summer's almost over, and I am yet to read a single book on the list. I tried starting with Burke's Reflections on the Revolution in France early in the summer because it's pretty short, but it was just so dry and boring that I could never bring myself to finish it.
I don't know if I even like my major all that much. When I try to think about my favourite past courses, none of them have been in my major. They've all been electives. Political science courses have pretty much always been the ones that I've just felt like I have to take. But I'm already near the end of my degree, so I'm like, welp, may as well finish it. And I have a high enough GPA to enroll in the honours programme, so my ego won't let me not pursue it.
But I also feel like I don't really deserve my GPA, because the past couple years, I've handed in a lot of assignments absurdly late and have had trouble with deadlines. Pretty much the only reason I still ended up getting good marks is that I've had really charitable professors who are nicer to me than I deserve because they like my work (when I finally hand it in) and I contribute in class. Thing is, writing well and being active in class doesn't excuse habitually missing deadlines, but none of these profs are privy to the fact that I've made this a habit. I used to never miss deadlines, but the past two years, I don't know what happened, but my procrastination and writers' block have just gotten really bad. I feel like that will most likely continue into the coming year, which will be disastrous, seeing as I will be doing my honours' thesis.
On top of that, I kinda just want to be done with my undergrad now, especially because I moved back in with my parents, who say they don't want me to live on my own until I've finished my degree. But with the way my schedule is, I'll have to take an additional year to finish, because I don't have all my honours requirements or enough credits for my minor. I have to do 2 credits in languages to get my honours, and I haven't done language courses since French stopped being mandatory in middle school. And I hated French class. I've never really enjoyed learning languages.
So, pretty much, school will be a nightmare and I will just crash and burn.
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